They developed a cure for my vampirism AND my blindness!
Never thought I'd see the day.
I know a couple of vampire puns
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company...
I'm the main stake holder.
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
Why do Vampires chew gum?
Because They have BAT Breath!
What do you call a skeletal Vampire?
Why do vampires bite people's necks to turn them undead?
Because they're neck romancers.
What's a vampire's favorite drink?
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire ?
2 priests walk into a vampire
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
A vampire was confused at his reflection
He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?
What do you call a vampire ant?
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Why do vampires seem sick?
What is a vampires girlfriend Called?
What kind of beer does a vampire drink?
What kind of restaurants do Vampires avoid?
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
How does a vampire start a letter?
What kind of workout does a vampire hate?
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What did the vampire say to his girlfriend as he nuzzled her bosom?
Vampire (Punny)
Gave a vampire a stake and now they’re...well...done.
What’s a vampires favorite fruit?
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
What's a vampire's favorite kind of television?
What does a vampire and a person who wears a mask have in common?
They both can't see their face in the mirror.
I have killed so many vampires, but Dracula is proving hard fo catch
Finding where he is will enable the final count down
What do you call a cross dressing vampire ?
What does a vampire bite if he wants something sweet?
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa
and then I realized vampires are killed by holy water...they blessed the rains down in Africa
We all know that Dracula is the #1 vampire and from Transylvania. But where is the #2 vampire from?
Why did the vampire fall in love with the Wizard?
Because the wizard was a neck-romancer.
Where do vampires buy their art supplies?
What do Vampire Software Developers Abhor?
I left my vampire killing kit in the elevator...
The stakes have never been higher
What do you get when you combine and vampire and a snowman?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
Why did the vampire seem sick?
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