I know a couple of vampire puns
Why don’t vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
Why are there no English vampires?
Because the sun never sets in the English Empire.
P.S, my first pun, sorry if it's bad guy.
Edit: my first dad joke, Haha sorry
Here is present the vampire state building.
I killed my friend. I thought he was a vampire.
Why do vampires only play the penny and nickel slot machines?
Is 'The Vampire Diaries' even a good show?
I heard the Characters suck a lot
How do you kill a southern vampire?
Why don't vampires buy company shares?
They are afraid of stake holder meetings.
My wife got really mad at me for stabbing a vampire to death today
I guess I was supposed to give them candy because it’s “Halloween”
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company...
I'm the main stake holder.
What do you call a vampire in a car?
What is the baby vampire's least favorite fast food establishment?
Stake n shake!
(I'm not sure if this is a regional restaurant but I assure you it exists.)
I was asked who my favorite vampire is. I said “the muppet from Sesame Street”
They told me “he doesn’t count!”. I replied “I assure you he does”.
2 priests walk into a vampire
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
What do you call a skeletal Vampire?
Why do vampires bite people's necks to turn them undead?
Because they're neck romancers.
Did you know that Africa has had no vampires since 1982?
That's the year that Toto blessed the rains there.
What's a vampire's favorite drink?
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire ?
A vampire was confused at his reflection
He wondered, what happened to the man in the mirror?
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
What kind of beer does a vampire drink?
Why do vampires seem sick?
My 5 year old just got me with this one: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman?
What do you call a vampire ant?
What kind of workout does a vampire hate?
What is a vampires girlfriend Called?
What’s a vampires favorite fruit?
A man was caught stealing at a supermarket today while standing on the shoulders of a couple of vampires
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts
What kind of restaurants do Vampires avoid?
Vampire (Punny)
Gave a vampire a stake and now they’re...well...done.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?
What did the vampire say to his girlfriend as he nuzzled her bosom?
What diner meal is dangerous for vampires?
Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)
It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What does a vampire bite if he wants something sweet?
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company.
I'm the main stake holder.
I recently bought 51% of a Vampire hunting company....
I am now the main stake holder.
I was asked who my favorite vampire was. I said it was the Muppet from Sesame Street.
They said, he doesn't count!
I replied, "I can assure you, he does!"
What do you get when you combine and vampire and a snowman?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
A man was caught stealing from a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires;
He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
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