26 Hilarious Demon Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

What do Demons store human souls in?

Sufferware

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👤︎ u/QuizzicalQuandary

📅︎ Nov 20 2020

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I had a date with a demon last night...

But I’m not really into the possessive type.

(My brother‘s joke not mine)

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👤︎ u/JohnnyXorron

📅︎ Nov 19 2020

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How do you get a demon to wipe the condensation off your windshield?

Just ask him politely with a sqouija board.

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👤︎ u/palm_top

📅︎ Nov 04 2020

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Why are demons fat

Because they hate exorcising

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👤︎ u/winged-sunrise

📅︎ Oct 10 2020

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I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.

Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.

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👤︎ u/the_kermit

📅︎ Oct 12 2020

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The U. S. Government legally believes in demons.

After all, possession is 9/10ths of the law.

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👤︎ u/madkins007

📅︎ Aug 29 2020

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If a demon ever goes bald

They’ll be hell toupee.

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👤︎ u/notgordonbombay

📅︎ Aug 31 2020

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What happened to the crack-dealing demon?

Arrested for possession.

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👤︎ u/CheesusHChrust

📅︎ Jul 06 2020

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Demon [possessing my child]: 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔩𝔡 𝔦𝔰 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢

Me: possession IS 9/10 of the law

Child: I’m hungry and I want a toy and I’m not going to nap today and-

Demon: 𝔦𝔰 𝔦𝔱 𝔞𝔩𝔴𝔞𝔶𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔨𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔰?

Me: it’s legally your problem now

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👤︎ u/invertedparadoxxx

📅︎ Jun 30 2020

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Today is demon day

6/6 Saturday

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👤︎ u/Wu-Chinese

📅︎ Jun 06 2020

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Part of my alphabetised tea set recently got possessed by a demon.

I’m sure it’s saucer ‘E’.

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👤︎ u/Yetanotherrob

📅︎ Dec 18 2019

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I saw a very spicy Japanese pizza demon.

It was a Pepper Oni.

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👤︎ u/desireewhitehall

📅︎ Mar 03 2020

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My local priest said he couldn't make it to dinner. He was busy exorcising our neighbours demons.

That's really nice of him. It's important that her demons stay healthy.

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👤︎ u/KingSulley

📅︎ Jan 14 2020

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Did you hear about the demon who threw some shoes in the hellfire?

He wanted to watch their soles burn

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👤︎ u/rahcled

📅︎ Dec 02 2019

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Demon names always have apostrophes in them

They show possession.

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👤︎ u/xwhy

📅︎ Oct 31 2019

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A demon said he wasn't gay.

I asked him demonstrate

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👤︎ u/Skididlydoo

📅︎ Jun 13 2019

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Matt Demon everybody!

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👤︎ u/MrWosabi

📅︎ Mar 10 2019

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We all know what the dodge demon is right?

I guess you could say its.... fast as hell

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👤︎ u/Ve1ocityReign

📅︎ Dec 22 2018

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I tried exercising my inner demons

But now they're just super fit and hotter than ever

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👤︎ u/SirSpicyBunghole

📅︎ Apr 14 2019

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What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?

Gobble the ghoul.

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👤︎ u/BeefbrothTV

📅︎ May 19 2019

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A demon was arrested today

It was charged with possession.

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👤︎ u/amishandroid

📅︎ Feb 19 2016

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What do you call a demon with a broken leg

A Limp

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👤︎ u/mekkanik

📅︎ Sep 28 2018

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Recently found out Hell was made of demon beaver homes?

So that's what they meant by eternal dam nation.

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👤︎ u/scarfhero

📅︎ Nov 19 2018

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When Johnny Demon sneezed, fire came out his nostrils and the Earth rumbled.

All the other demons said, "curse you!"

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline

📅︎ Dec 01 2018

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Organic foods will turn me into a demon

Because they're super-natural

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👤︎ u/Dante0906

📅︎ Aug 06 2016

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Why are demons fat...

Because they hate exorcising!

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👤︎ u/bcm929

📅︎ Jul 22 2020

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