Well don't worry, he's all right now
Hobbling
A hemogoblin
Ghoulash
A robgoblin.
An everlasting gobstopper! (laughs at own joke)
...Living Up To 400 Years Old!
Marine 1 - How Do They Know That?
Marine 2 - They Checked His Birth Certificate.
Annoying
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
He was a goblin
The other couldnβt reach.
So after my daughter got off the bus, she was telling me about her day. She said that, at lunch, she was pretending to be a goblin.
"Gobbling what?", I asked. "Hopefully your lunch."
She stared at me (trying hard not to smile), let out an exasperated sigh, and said "I hate your jokes". Then walked away to the house without as much as another word...
Why couldnβt the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween Iβm going to write βLifeβ on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy Iβm interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
βHalloweenβ = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
Iβll be your trick if youβll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
Whatβs a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A βhollow-weenie!β
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
Iβm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always doβ¦ by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, βA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?β The other monster replied, βBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something youβre not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, itβs Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so Iβm dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italianβs eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why canβt the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when theyβre hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope itβs Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
She loves turning into a "blood monster," running up to people, slapping them, and claim she's sucking our blood as she yells "I'm a blood monster! Rawr!"
Me: "Oh no, she's a hemoGOBLIN!"
I got some applause from the few adults present.
