Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?

Well don't worry, he's all right now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthonyTheBg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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what does goblin's blood consist of?

A hemogoblin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duyungrql
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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What's a goblins favorite dinner?

Ghoulash

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πŸ‘€︎ u/g_petro
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What do you call a goblin brigand?

A robgoblin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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The Goblin Shark Is The Oldest Living Vertebrate...

...Living Up To 400 Years Old!

Marine 1 - How Do They Know That?

Marine 2 - They Checked His Birth Certificate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colossal_chris
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2016
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Jay-Z is DMing a D&D campaign for his son.

Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.

"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.

Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JinTaisa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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Drew a Haemogoblin
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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He's rich.

What do you call a rich goblin?

GOBLING.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NavieYt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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It is weird to see signs that say "In case of fire, don't use elevator". Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodlyearth
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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What did the Turkey do on Halloween?

He was a goblin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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How to get an 8 year old to hate you...

So after my daughter got off the bus, she was telling me about her day. She said that, at lunch, she was pretending to be a goblin.

"Gobbling what?", I asked. "Hopefully your lunch."

She stared at me (trying hard not to smile), let out an exasperated sigh, and said "I hate your jokes". Then walked away to the house without as much as another word...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkstalker
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2018
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Halloween Puns

Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.


Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!


Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!


For Halloween I’m going to write β€œLife” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers


This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues


β€œHalloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.


Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!


I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.


How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!


When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day


What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!


What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood


What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us


What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A β€œhollow-weenie!”


Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).


How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.



I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,


Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, β€œA lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, β€œBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.


The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.


I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.


I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.


Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.


What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!


What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)


Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.


What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!


What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi


What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!


What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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I met my preschool-aged niece for the first time Christmas eve

She loves turning into a "blood monster," running up to people, slapping them, and claim she's sucking our blood as she yells "I'm a blood monster! Rawr!"

Me: "Oh no, she's a hemoGOBLIN!"

I got some applause from the few adults present.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2017
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