Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?

Well don't worry, he's all right now

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📅︎ Jan 29 2020
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what does goblin's blood consist of?

A hemogoblin

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👤︎ u/Duyungrql
📅︎ Sep 13 2019
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What's a goblins favorite dinner?

Ghoulash

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👤︎ u/g_petro
📅︎ May 17 2019
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What do you call a goblin brigand?

A robgoblin.

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👤︎ u/Valdagast
📅︎ Feb 03 2019
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The Goblin Shark Is The Oldest Living Vertebrate...

...Living Up To 400 Years Old!

Marine 1 - How Do They Know That?

Marine 2 - They Checked His Birth Certificate.

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📅︎ Aug 15 2016
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Jay-Z is DMing a D&D campaign for his son.

Jay-Z's son is playing a fighter and is engaged in a grueling fight with a troll. The troll is clearly too high a difficulty for the fighter.

"Dad," Jay-Z's son exclaims in frustration. "The troll is destroying me!" Just at that moment, from behind a nearby hill appears an army of goblins led by what appears to be an intoxicated lich.

Jay-Z looks at his son and replies with a smirk, "If you're having troll problems, I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 goblins and a lich on rum."

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👤︎ u/JinTaisa
📅︎ Mar 09 2021
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If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?

Annoying

👍︎ 10k
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📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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Drew a Haemogoblin
👍︎ 6k
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📅︎ Jan 13 2019
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He's rich.

What do you call a rich goblin?

GOBLING.

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👤︎ u/NavieYt
📅︎ Jul 23 2020
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It is weird to see signs that say "In case of fire, don't use elevator". Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.
👍︎ 8k
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📅︎ Nov 09 2018
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What did the Turkey do on Halloween?

He was a goblin

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📅︎ May 24 2020
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Two elderly women were sitting on a park bench when a man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. One woman has a stroke.

The other couldn’t reach.

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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Jul 07 2019
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How to get an 8 year old to hate you...

So after my daughter got off the bus, she was telling me about her day. She said that, at lunch, she was pretending to be a goblin.

"Gobbling what?", I asked. "Hopefully your lunch."

She stared at me (trying hard not to smile), let out an exasperated sigh, and said "I hate your jokes". Then walked away to the house without as much as another word...

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📅︎ Feb 19 2018
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I met my preschool-aged niece for the first time Christmas eve

She loves turning into a "blood monster," running up to people, slapping them, and claim she's sucking our blood as she yells "I'm a blood monster! Rawr!"

Me: "Oh no, she's a hemoGOBLIN!"

I got some applause from the few adults present.

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👤︎ u/Kuebic
📅︎ Dec 25 2017
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