A zombie pun for Halloween

https://preview.redd.it/0aagb5me4xv31.png?width=1297&format=png&auto=webp&s=cf16ae1b36afaa1515a982e218c436acae3e58f7

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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What do you call a zombie DJ?

A dead beat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valbranz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/35mmPirate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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I was playing a zombie game last night, and sliced off the left side of a zombie

It scared my wife pretty bad.

I assured her he’s all right.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PapaBear1718
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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It you see a hungry zombie, destroy the hungry zombie.

It's a no-brainer!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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What would happen to all of us if the zombie virus only affected redheads?

Ginger-bite-us

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colorado_kindbudz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Figuring out how to starve a zombie isn’t difficult.

It’s a no-brainer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?

He only eats Brians

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why didn't the Zombie want to go to school?

He was feeling a little rotten

Courtesy of my 6 year old

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/papawood22
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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How can you tell that a zombie used to be a father?

By his dead bod

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMordorlorian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Toto sponsored a group of zombie missionaries.

They blessed the brains down in Africa

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why did the girl date a zombie?

'Cause liked her for her brains!

Why did the girl break up with the zombie? 'Cause he was dead inside!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/balderdashbird
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

GRAAAAAAAAINS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UltraFrazer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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Why was the zombie so grumpy?

He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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Why didn't the zombie cross the road?

Because he didn't have the guts!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cannabalisticdeer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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What?! You don't know what a zombie's least favorite food is? You'll figure it out

it's a no-brainer really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you call a horny zombie?

Wankenstein.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clukurduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What does a vegetarian zombie say?

Graaaains.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/m_faustus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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You know what the zombie said about the witch doctor?

Nothing, his lips were sealed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StormFenics
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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My 7 year old came up with a dad joke: What do Zombie Cows say?

"Grains"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollyon82
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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How do you know if a zombie studied law?

He always eats the arms first, however, legislator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Highdock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What did the zombie farmer say he wanted?

Grrraaaaiiinnns...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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zombie apocathicc
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MLZ_ent
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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What do you call a zombie in pajamas?

The sleepwalking dead

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UkuSw0w
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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What did the zombie gladiator say to the romans?

"ARE YOU NOT INTO BRAINS?! ARE YOU NOT. INTO. BRAINS!?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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What do zombie bodybuilders eat?

Gainnnnnzzzzzz

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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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What does a zombie call his girlfriend?

Zombae.

And that's what my kids get after watching ZOMBIES for the 6th time in 4 days.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Why didn’t the zombie like eating the clown?

Because he tasted a little funny...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDarkBlade0412
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2020
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What do you call a zombie phoenix?

Joaquin dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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There was a zombie infestation in South Korea's Capital

The president, hiding in a secret bunker, ordered the city to be nuked to contain the outbreak, killing both zombies and civilians in the area.

After the strike, he went to celebrate with his wife, but she was sad.

"Honey, we just ended the zombie epidemic. Why are you sad?" he asked.

She responded: "You killed millions of civilians. How can I be happy if you no longer have a Seoul?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforepic_inc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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My daughter is going to be a great dad..I came up stairs into the kitchen like a zombie...

she turned to me holding a bag of rice....."Graaaiiinsss"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgpitre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I was drawing a zombie for my friend and wasn't sure how I would draw his eyes. First time posting here but hope this counts.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfamousChibi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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Who did the zombie take to the dance?

His ghoul-friend!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
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What do you call a zombie who stir fries?

Dead Man Wokking

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wallagm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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"Did you hear about the new zombie game that all they do is watch dough rise?"

"It's called Bread Rising."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuitePasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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What did the zombie say to the kindergartener after he took her brain?

I got your knows!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evasive-Cupid
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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I told everyone that I’m going as a zombie character from Harry Potter this Halloween, but no one believes me.

I’m dead Sirius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Whatdoes a meme addicted zombie say after eating someone?

That's some serious GOREmet shit

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocconox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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What do you call a zombie father?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spinn80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
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How do you call a zombie that speaks two languages?

Zombilingual

I'm so sorry

No I'm not

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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Why was the zombie sad?

Because he was a husk of his former self.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SampleText21-YT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a vegan zombie eat?

Graaainns

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenisbacK_1900
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What does it take to become a zombie?

Dead-ication

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Figuring out how to starve a zombie is a no brainer.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gary_October
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie vegetarian eat

GRRRAAAIINS!

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dyslexic Zombie?

He only eats Brians.......

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

GRRRAAAIINS!

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/always-paranoid
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?

He only eats Brians

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
There was a zombie infestation in South Korea's Capitol

The president, hiding in a secret bunker, ordered the city to be nuked to contain the outbreak, killing both zombies and civilians in the area.

After the strike, he went to celebrate with his wife, but she was sad.

"Honey, we just ended the zombie epidemic. Why are you sad?" he asked.

She responded: "You killed millions of civilians. How can I be happy if you no longer have a Seoul?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timeforepic_inc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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