How do you turn a duck into an accomplished soul singer?

You cook it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/duggers45
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 01
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I like jokes with a lot of soul in them.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CoolWalrus2085
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 23
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why did Dumbledore almost suck Harry Potter's soul?

Because he was dementor (the mentor).

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BatimadosAnos60
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05
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Juan's friends and family always tell him how to live his life, but he's been doing some solitary soul searching

Because it takes Juan to know Juan

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xtilexx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 25
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What do you get if your lovers soul was trapped in a sword for all eternity?

A bae-blade.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SquigglesMcJiggly
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What do Demons store human souls in?

Sufferware

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/QuizzicalQuandary
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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I'm quitting my soul sucking corporate job to be a marine biologist.

I've gotta find some porpoise in my life.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 25
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BlooregardQKazooo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Death came for my soul today

Thank god I was in the living room when he came

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kennycrab12
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
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Did you know soul singer Bill Withers had a brother called โ€˜Bearโ€™?

He wrote telephone hold music.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/norney
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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My MIL, rest her soul, asked about my background while I was dating my wife.

I was worried, as I'm a bit of a mutt.

She says she didn't care as long as I didn't have Roman hands or Russian fingers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/breakone9r
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Whatโ€™s it called when you sell your soul to the Devil to be skinny?

Fausting

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/-PeachesNGravy-
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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[Tribute to the singer/songwriter who passed away today] How do you turn a duck into a soul musician?

Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aaaaaidan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Soul
๐Ÿ‘︎ 21
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/peter_griffins
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.

Now I want my Nickelback.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Konamicoder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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Just a soul

My friend was so obsessed with a ghost girl that people started assuming he's falling for her. So I asked him about the situation to which he responded by saying: "It's nothing serious. She's just a soul, mate"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Plata_y_Plomo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I use my Kia Soul as a chicken coop.

I call it my hatchback.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JohnnyZillion
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Did you guys see the new Adventures of Tin Tin movie? His soul gets removed from his body and put into an industrial drum fan.

I'd rate it tin out of tin. Big fan

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DripSquirt
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 23 2019
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Some American BBQ is considered soul food, whereas some Korean BBQ would be...

Seoul Food

๐Ÿ‘︎ 22
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/evilone17
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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Bless my soul!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/coadnamedalex
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was wondering why Popeye keeps scratching himself at Soul Cycle...

Turns out he has a lot of spin itch...

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/changhaobyu
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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Volemort splits his soul and puts part of it into a prostitute

Now he has a new whorecrux

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/steven8765
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
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A lot of things are bad for your soul, but the worst of all?

Running

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/papa-mack
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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What can you get for $100 at the "Queen of Soul" Christmas store?

A wreath a Franklin

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/1sneakymidget
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Losing my soul.

I was at a funeral a couple weeks ago. We went to church then the reception. Sitting next to my mom, brother and a couple aunts and uncles, I turned to my mom and told her, "I felt like I was losing my soul in church." I received a few astonished looks when my mom asked, "why would you say that?" I picked up my foot and showed her the sole of my shoe coming off.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/woo545
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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Everyone knows that Old King Cole was a merry old soul, but few know about his mandate that all his subjects had to eat cabbage and mayonnaise

It was Cole's Law.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 50
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fragglet
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I guess souls are made of

" souluble " materials.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 14
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/OT7_4Life
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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โ€œA Tale of Lost Soulsโ€
๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cicada-Music
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Okay... I'm not saying, that gingers don't have a soul...

I'm just saying... The dementors never went for Ron Weasley.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zapyre
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I had to sell my soul, but Iโ€™m finally turning over a new leaf.

I liked the kia, but Iโ€™m looking forward to not having to buy gas anymore.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/happyamosfun
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What's the difference between someone who takes care of bees and someone who collects the souls of the dead?

One bee keeper the other be reaper.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BinaryPeach
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife was really mad at me and said I should do some soul searching.

So I googled James Brown.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 13 2018
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The Grim Reaper went to collect a soul. Upon arriving he says to the unfortunate man: "Your time has come, prepare to leave the land of the living and follow me to the gates of heaven. Now come and don't hesitate, for I am unforgiving. Or else you will wander in the shadow realm for eternity!

Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"

"Yes you are"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Sint__Maarten
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I recently realized something about Dark Souls 3 pvp.

When faced with an R-1 spammer, the goal is not Toulouse.

Quite the opposite, in fact. You wanna focus on becoming the king of Paris.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PuzzledKitty
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 16 2017
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Decorated the wreath in our musician's break room at work... it needed more ...soul. ๐Ÿ˜ i.reddituploads.com/e5067โ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/N031113
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Banished to the couch for having soul

As stated my wife banished me to the couch for this.

She had a late start at work today, so she did some work around the house, including hanging the wreath.

After picking her up from work that evening we got home and she asked me if I liked the wreath. I responded with "the Franklin? It looks good".

She wasn't happy about that, and kept insisting I call it a wreath. Our friends all came over for D&D and I continued to interject whenever she showed someone that it was called "A Franklin".

Eventually she got really mad and demanded to know why I wouldn't call it a wreath. So I hugged her and said "I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't know it was so important to you. I mean, A-Wreath, A-Franklin, what's the difference?".

So yeah, sleeping on the couch.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Azuya
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you make a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Rainbowape
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until itโ€™s Bill Withers

๐Ÿ‘︎ 48
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/forest-of-ewood
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers.

(A tribute to Bill - RIP)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 397
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/darkskiez
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you make a duck sing soul?

Put it in the microwave until itโ€™s Bill Withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 13
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ter9193
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer ?

Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Cook it till it's Bill Withers

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NotANinja252
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/redrockit06
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 12 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

You pop it in the oven until itโ€™s Bill Withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jazzhustler
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/northsouth261
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

...Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SubcommanderMarcos
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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