Sufferware
Thank god I was in the living room when he came
I've gotta find some porpoise in my life.
I was worried, as I'm a bit of a mutt.
She says she didn't care as long as I didn't have Roman hands or Russian fingers.
A bae-blade.
Put it in the microwave until itโs Bill Withers
Fausting
He wrote telephone hold music.
Put it in the microwave until its bill withers.
Now I want my Nickelback.
I call it my hatchback.
My friend was so obsessed with a ghost girl that people started assuming he's falling for her. So I asked him about the situation to which he responded by saying: "It's nothing serious. She's just a soul, mate"
Turns out he has a lot of spin itch...
Seoul Food
Now he has a new whorecrux
I'd rate it tin out of tin. Big fan
A wreath a Franklin
Running
I was at a funeral a couple weeks ago. We went to church then the reception. Sitting next to my mom, brother and a couple aunts and uncles, I turned to my mom and told her, "I felt like I was losing my soul in church." I received a few astonished looks when my mom asked, "why would you say that?" I picked up my foot and showed her the sole of my shoe coming off.
It was Cole's Law.
" souluble " materials.
I'm just saying... The dementors never went for Ron Weasley.
One bee keeper the other be reaper.
I liked the kia, but Iโm looking forward to not having to buy gas anymore.
Hi unforgiving, I'm dad"
"Yes you are"
So I googled James Brown.
When faced with an R-1 spammer, the goal is not Toulouse.
Quite the opposite, in fact. You wanna focus on becoming the king of Paris.
As stated my wife banished me to the couch for this.
She had a late start at work today, so she did some work around the house, including hanging the wreath.
After picking her up from work that evening we got home and she asked me if I liked the wreath. I responded with "the Franklin? It looks good".
She wasn't happy about that, and kept insisting I call it a wreath. Our friends all came over for D&D and I continued to interject whenever she showed someone that it was called "A Franklin".
Eventually she got really mad and demanded to know why I wouldn't call it a wreath. So I hugged her and said "I'm sorry sweetie, I didn't know it was so important to you. I mean, A-Wreath, A-Franklin, what's the difference?".
So yeah, sleeping on the couch.
it's called the Touring Test
The Spring Soulstice.
For reference: Link to wiki
Some of these are done in a kind of "news headline"-style:
-
Choir leader fired after using too much sexual innuendo; "Lewd Ex Cantor."
-
Video on demand about a street where nothing happens; "Vod of the Boring Alley."
-
Man's brutal cousin turns out to be a great bloke; "Raw-Ted, Great Dude".
-
Panic spreads as toilet facilities take over the world; "Cry! Stall-Age."
-
A man orders a book of basic letters to look after his daughters belongings while he looks after the others; "ABC, Watch Her's!".
-
Sams brother cheats a dude; "Dean Cons the Peep."
-
A ride in the amusement park offers a wide range of emotions; "High! Low! Woo! Nah."
-
A weird and hard to describe new dessert; "Cold Lemon Thing."
-
A new star in stand up rises! Come see "Puntiff Sulyvahn."
-
Pirates start eating fava beans and a new drink is required; "Yo! Ho! The Chianti!."
-
A Long lived man has an unusual apetite for fish; "Old-Rick, Devourer of Cods".
-
In Bacteria-Town, a devastating disease strikes one inhabitant working at a hotel; "Cancer of the Borrelia Valet".
-
Roman god Cubid is ordered to take a woman to cave and kill her; "Drag and Slay Her Amor"
-
Osiris's statue has been in way too many marriages and people have started to call it; "Osiris the Consummated Thing."
-
The choir leader from before is transformed into a mushroom; "Champignon Cantor"
-
An english man becomes the leader of a Polish airplane company and gets nicknamed; "LOT-Rick"
-
An impatient tree person attacks a random mythical hunter; "Antsy Ent! Why Hern?!"
-
Horse named Elvis keeps making noise and a man shouts;"Neigh Less King!"
-
A child opens a chocolate egg and a white spirit jumps out; "Soul of Kinder"
Sorry about the possible typos.
Put it in the oven until its Bill Withers.
(A tribute to Bill - RIP)
Put him in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
RIP buddy...
Put it in the microwave until itโs Bill Withers.
Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers
Cook it till it's Bill Withers
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers
You pop it in the oven until itโs Bill Withers.
Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers.
...Put it in the microwave until it's Bill Withers!
The price was "a wreath, a Franklin".
