If someone is burnt and needs a skin graft, can I donate the skin tissue on my butt?
Well someone had to do it
Someone broke into my garage last night, stole my tools and stuff, but I can't believe they took my limbo stick too.
Seriously..how low can you go ?
How dare they make someone else clean that up
What do you call someone who steal energy?
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
What do you call someone who can't stop watching films with strong female leads?
What do you call someone who takes pictures of Vietnamese soup?
Someone tried to sell me a coffin today
I said that's the last thing I need
How does a non binary person kill someone?
How does a snake threaten someone?
“Watch it or I’ll blow you to slithereens!”
If you are on the first floor of a building, and someone one the second floor is being arrested, are you...
My parents found this while camping... someone has a good sense of humour
Pirate Ship Captain: I am desperate. Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Barack Obama went to a costume party giving his wife a piggyback. Someone asks what he is and says "I'm a snail!"
"That's M'Shell on my back!"
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone, and I wondered why they were doing that...
What do you call someone whose whole life revolves around ice?
How do you know if someone is vegan?
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
What do you call someone who is between being holy and unholy.
Someone just told me I reminded them of a packet of flavourless chips.
I've never been so unsalted in my life.
I knew someone who collected watches. They'd link the watches all together into a sort of belt.
I thought it was a waist of time.
Whenever someone says “it’s chilly outside” I feel compelled to reply:
You know what they say, chili today hot tamale
does anyone know if a doctor can take some of my butt flesh and graft it onto someone who isn't a relative?
A good way to strike up a conversation with someone you find attractive
Someone was talking to me about kitchen utensils, something I really couldn't care for.
I told them to sieve it for someone who cares.
LPT: If you see someone about to be attacked by a duck, don’t try to warn them.
It only makes things worse.
Someone called me lazy today.
What do you call someone who is incredibly good at estimating the weight of objects?
So the cops just came to my door, they said my dog was chasing someone on a bike, I told them "my dog doesn't even own a bike"
What did the cannibal say when someone nearly knocked their food off the table?
“Don’t worry, I got your back!”
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
What do you call someone that visits a lot of bars?
Someone recently asked how being mute was going for me.
If someone created a capacitor Hall of Fame,
Would the guy who welcomes new members still be called an inductor?
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
I killed someone called Bart
I think I'm a bartender now.
Someone baked my sword! It made me so angry!! I guess you could say...
Someone told me Trumps last order as president is to outlaw shredded cheese.
Hmm guess he wants to make America grate again 🤔
Someone offered me a bowl of beans.
A person sees someone walking in the street without a mask. Frustrated, he goes up to him, stops at two meters away and angrily mutters through his mask,
"People like you make me sick!".
How does a non-binary person kill someone?
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Someone broke into our local police station and stole all the urinals.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
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