Somebody threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at my head.
It's OK though as my injuries are only super fish oil.
Somebody broke into my house and only stole my coffee, my lamp and my parrot.
I don't know how they sleep at night.
what do you call somebody who gaurds a trampoline?
What's the full name of somebody who loves Japanese animation?
Somebody just called me average.
I’m addicted to abusing nuns, I just can’t not hit them, the only thing that’s worked for me is redirecting it to somebody else.
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
This pun is so bad, somebody should call The Police
Somebody stole my Microsoft office and they're going to pay.
Somebody I know wanted to use an abacus for exponents without knowing how
I don’t think it’s a good idea, but all the power to him
(To a group) Ewwww, it smells like somebody’s deodorant isn’t working...
Don’t look at me, I don’t wear that stuff!
What's the difference between a peeping tom and somebody getting out of a bath?
One is rude and nosy, the other is nude and rosy.
Need to ask somebody to support you?
I heard somebody died after reading a book
They were sentenced to death
Somebody hired a hitman after me
He's a real pain in the ass
Somebody should come up with a name for when the sun goes down
I’m gonna call it a night
What do you call somebody with two butts?
How can you catch on if somebody is lying?
They’re neither sitting nor standing!
What do you call somebody with no body and no nose?
I can’t believe somebody stole my dictionary.
If a baker assaults somebody with a baguette...
...can he be charged with assault with a breadly weapon?
Somebody get the Captain! There’s been a hull breach! We’re going down!
What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming beards?
I can't believe that somebody stole my protections spells.
What do you call somebody who eats people slowly?
Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.
What do you call somebody who fidgets a lot?
Somebody drilled a hole in the fence around the nudist colony
Authorities are looking into it.
If somebody slaps Dwayne Johnson’s ass
They’re hitting rock bottom...
I am having a really bad day, somebody ripped the front and back pages out of my dictionary.
It just goes from Bad to Worse!
Batman gets word that somebody is in trouble and needs to be rescued quick...
Batman: Robin! Quick! Go get the Batmobile!
Robin: Sure thing, Batman!
A few minutes later...
Robin: The Batmobile won't start. In fact, it won't even turn over!
Batman: Check the battery.
Robin: What's a tery?
Somebody stole my thesaurus today!
Not only am I mad, I'm also mad!
Somebody stole my toilet last week
I would try and figure it out, but I have nothing to go on
Somebody told me to buy a Ford mustang
I told them it was una-ford-able
I told my wife that she is somebody I used to know.
My wife: Why?
Me: Ha, Gotye there.
Needless to say, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.
Somebody told me my Dog could rap
turns out she was just a biter.
I can’t believe somebody broke into our garage and stole our limbo stick?
Seriously, how low can you go?
The other day somebody asked me if I liked the office
I told them It depends on how much work I have pending
Somebody stole my mood ring...
I still don't know how I feel about that.
Somebody told me a joke about electricity.
Somebody crop him in half for a quarter XD
Somebody threw a bottle of Omega 3 at me!
Luckily the injuries are only super fish oil
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