Why did the Indian yeast have low self esteem?
His whole life he’s been a naan starter.
Sorry for self promotion.
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was
she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
My self-centered friend ordered a sculpture of his face, but later realized he couldn't afford the bill.
He really got a head of himself.
What kind of self-help books do dolphins read?
Leading a porpoise-driven life
What do you call a self governing group of hippos?
Are clams self aware?
No, they are not conches.
I’ve been self isolating with coronavirus
Above all, I’ve found it tough to stay positive.
Did you know SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus? Did you know “tuba” is also an acronym?
Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus
Edit: good lord, I didn’t know someone else posted this previously. I thought it was funny as heck and my kids rolled their eyes when I told it SO THERE.
Optometrists can be so self obsessed
It’s always eye, eye, eye.
I learned a new Spanish vocabulary word used to describe the self-quarantining pandemic lifestyle:
I love self derogratory humour
I can never run out of jokes.
What do you call a country of male deer with no capacity for self-improvement?
My friend is inventing breakthrough upholstery fabric that can self-mend rips and tears. When I asked how he's progressing, he replied....
Why don't they have self checkout at the Gap?
Because people got confused when they ask you to swipe your cardigan.
What do you call a 13 year old muslim stuck in self isolation?
What is the active ingredient in self raising flour?
Son: You know I'm a self-made person.
Dad: Your mother and I would like to disagree.
I saw my ex girlfriend standing on the opposite side of the museum hall, and I was too self conscious to say hello.
There was so much history between us.
The first joke my 3yo self ever made
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
My dad remembers me being really proud of it and telling everyone, haha!
The easiest way to get in touch with inner self...
is to buy one ply toilet paper
If self-deprecation was an Olympic Sport
I'd probably just about scrape bronze
I'm going on a self discovery journey, trying to find my way and reason... Destination How-why.
Did you hear the lead singer of disturbed isn’t going to self isolate?
He’s down with the sickness.
What do you call a self isolating director
Coffee beans must have the lowest self-esteem...
They’re always getting roasted!
I don’t know if I trust the self-cannibal.
He seems to be full of himself.
Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate.
And we’ve been married more than 27 years!
I got in touch with my inner self today.
That's the last time I use cheap toilet paper.
How did the English teacher kill her self - cliff hanger!
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts.
I have hard time reading self help books...
I don’t why, I just can’t help myself.
fine enough, self advertisement? i think not.
I have to self-isolate for 7 days
What man made plant can take care of it self into adulthood
Self raising flower.
I'll see myself out now.
They had self-driving cars in Russia
As they say: In Soviet Russia, Cars drive you...
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
What do you call someone who’s paid to share videos of them self sneezing on social media?
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
EDIT: "Now he's asking me for a byte of cookies... "
I'm attending a self-help group for compulsive talkers
It's called on and on anon
Think I’ll self-isolate in my tent..
Just call me Tentin’ Quarantino.
I would tell a self deprecating joke
But I'm not very good at it
SCUBA is an acronym for Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. What you may not know is that Tuba is also an acronym...
For Terrible Underwater Breathing Apparatus