How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?

Asking for a friend

πŸ‘︎ 620
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
So, how was your experience driving on snow in Spain?

sPainful

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lucascp17
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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What happens when an apple experiences unrequited love?

It becomes a Pine-Apple

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I had a near sex experience.

I saw my wife flash before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram

Now he's tramatized

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morningshawa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Do any of you have experience making Moroccan Rolls?

I found a recipe in a magazine but I wasn't sure about it because the recipe calls for thyme and a bunch of other spices. I had them all, but unfortunately they were all expired. I decided to make them anyways, took them to a party, and they ended up all being eaten, everyone thought they were delicious. I guess what they say is true.

People love that old thyme Moroccan roll.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Getting interviewed for a job as a blacksmith: Interviewer: Do you have any experience shoeing a horse?

Me: No, but I once told a donkey to F off.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.

It's called, "Prose and Cons".

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Had my first camping experience last week

It was pretty intents

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pax_flash
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.

My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourLocalCreep
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I had the craziest camping experience last night.

It was in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My science teacher said that I might experience 5g on a rollercoaster and I said

I can get 5g on my phone

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Sometimes my experience on an elevator is very uplifting. Other times ...

I just feel let down.

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/well_I_swan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time i used an elevator it was an uplifting experience

But the second time it let me down

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoman-177
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
First experience with flying.

The first time my daughter was on a plane, she looked out and saw the ground crew, and asked what they did. I proudly said that they are the "monbacks". When the plane pushes back from the gate they holler to the pilot "MON BACK....MON BACK".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoltharjoemama
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I had an appointment with two physicians. They told me, β€œthe more pain you experience, the better you will feel.”

What a strange pair-a-docs.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I went for a job interview today, he asked, "Can you tell me about your previous work experience in a nutshell?"

I said, "I've never had a job working in a nutshell."

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I once had to fly with no prior experience.

I had to wing it.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/debateablyhuman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Blanch: "Why did pickling upset you so badly? Is everything ok?" Me: "The whole experience was quite jarring...."

Blanch: "I get it. That can leave you in a bad headspace but, I'm an open kettle - you can tell me anything."

Me: "I just need to vent, Blanch."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I want to experience intense ecstatic happiness, I reach for the bottle of dish washing liquid...

I like to feel Joy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 115
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Having surgery with local anesthesia is a SCARRING experience
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do plumbers experience in their sleep?

Pipe dreams.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
For the best auto body experience
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProudTacoman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I experience winter for the first time in 26 years, and i have to say

It's a cool thing.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arifshiddiq
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I rode an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
During an interview, I was asked how much experience with Photoshop I have...

I replied "I'm so good at Photoshop I make Mother Teresa look like Donald Trump."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
The first time I ever used an elevator was a real uplifting experience.

The second time was a big let down!!!

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkDG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried out a weight watchers group therapy session but no one would talk about their experiences.

There were just too many elephants in the room

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I had an out of body experience recently.

I was beside myself.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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The colonoscopy wasn't the best experience of my life.

But it was right up there.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Donating blood can be A-positive experience

But sometimes it can B-negative.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard it was an electrifying experience
πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/90059bethezip
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Had a horrible experience dining out last night. The waiter made us eat our spaghetti with a spoon.

I complained to the owner, but even she didn’t give a fork.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cynid3
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience.

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 270
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArpitJain96
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I just had a near sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time in an elevator was a very uplifting experience

The second time let me down

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

"Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn't think it hurt that much."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2017
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience

The second time let me down.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ottohelanen
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience...

The second time let me down πŸ™

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hungryghost02
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report

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