I don’t even like Pokémon just live puns
Long live Rudolph the red
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
If they lived by the bay, they'd be bagels.
How can I get someone to hang out with me, laugh at each other’s jokes, and maybe share some fun platonic experiences together throughout our lives?
What’s the difference between the police response to Black Lives Matter protests and their response to the Capitol Hill riots?
Well, it’s black and white.
The folks who live in my town aren’t allowed to be buried in the old cemetery on the edge of town.
Mostly because they’re not dead yet.
My wife is okay with the fact that I still live with my ex-girlfriend.
She doesn't like me calling her that, however.
NASA scientists say it may be possible to live on Mars.
What a load of rubbish, I tried it and now I'm five stones heavier and diabetic.
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What do you call a sorceress that lives on the beach?
So if a bird lives by the sea it’s a seagull. If it lives by the bay it’s bagel.
So if it’s covered in slime, is it a googull?
Fact: A single ant live about 29 years
Question: What about Married one?
My daughter got me a “Canada “ sweater for Christmas... I asked why since we live in the USA?
“It’s aspirational “ she said.
Ooooof...
My daughter was telling me about 'live streaming' and twitch...
Wow was I relieved to find out she wasn't going into the boys room to use the urinal.
I used to live paycheck to paycheck...
....but now that I'm older and better established, I live direct deposit to direct deposit.
I have a plan to live on two bucks for the whole next year.
Step 1: get a hunting license.
I just found out that my friend lives a secret life as a priest.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
I have recently been made homeless and have to live in my car...
...Now every room is the living vroom
We live in Colorado and took my son outside today to play hide and seek for the first time. I pointed at the Rockies, looked him dead in the eye and said, "Under no circumstances can we allow them to play!" Confused, he ask why, so I explained, "Well, you see...
What’s the difference between a live pyre and a dead pyre?
I'm going to live forever
What do you call an elf that lives in New York City?
What do you call a guy who lives in a hole ?
Hugh Jackman is making a live action Frosty movie where he joins the circus!
It’s called The Greatest Snowman.
Do you know the top 15 states to live in?
Alaska, Washington, Idaho, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, & Maine
Where do royal British ducks live?
I’ve always wanted to live in a lighthouse...
I’ve been on and off the idea for years.
I finally see why people don’t like the live action DC films!
Because they don’t do the heroes justice
What animals love to live in a sewer?
What kind of habitat does a rabbit live in?
A rabitat.
My six year old just cooked this up; you're welcome.
Why do pirates live the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
My son kept chewing on live electrical wires
The best drummers are short guys who live in the city
I asked my Chinese friend what it's like to live in China
He says he can't complain
The vet said our chick has survived through the accident, but his brain was damaged so he’d have to live the rest of his life a vegetable.
Guess we’ll call him Eggplant now
a wise man once said "thick thighs saves lives"
https://preview.redd.it/m5ilmigjv4v51.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=ce48ec5cbcddbacbbaf121aed97c0585e6467cda
Did you know Koalas live in groups?
So if you mess with one, they koala them to help...
What do you call a vengeful Australian spell caster who lives on the beach?
Where do South American frogs live?
Which part of our body lives the longest?
True story: My girlfriend just asked me if I knew any good jokes about physicists (my profession). I said yes, but they were all about physicists' dating lives.
So they're pretty much all one-liners.
Why do sharks live in saltwater?
Because pepperwater makes them sneeze.
Why did the germaphobe go away to live by himself?
He wanted to be hermitically sealed.
Picture this: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas.
Global chaos ensues.
The disease wipes out 99% of humanity, and the desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
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