My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...

It only knew twigonometry

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
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I found an amazing mathematical equation that perfectly sums up our current situation:

= > Γ·

...okay it doesn't sum it up but you get the idea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/H_G_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
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The FDA recently mandated that chocolate has to contain 12% cacao instead of the current 10%.

Looks like they're raising the chocolate bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atlantic14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
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Electric current events. /r/Jokes/comments/gttx2j/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
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The current whereabouts of NK dictator still an Kim Jong-Unsolved mystery

When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unhertz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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I thought this was appropriate given our current circumstances. One of those jokes that makes you stop and chuckle.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winberry5253
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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I just realized what current newborns of the Islamic faith will be called from 2033-2040

Qur’an teens

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddymcdadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
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Toilet paper companies have decided against increasing production to meet current demands.

They said it would make business plunge.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOrderOfARA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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A current Dad joke!

All children born within the next year or two will be part of the group known as β€œCoronnials”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thundapurr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
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In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.

I need to be kinder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strmgdndl
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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If we would explain the the current US political situation to the 2010 us at a fantasy fare, they would jokingly call it some batshit magic 'Hocus POTUS'...
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
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If i intend to buy an electric car, do i need a current driving license?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VladdyThePapi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working.

I kind of thought it was a positive joke.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendeqtele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.

"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked. "Gas, electric and cable" I responded.

πŸ‘︎ 185
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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If you’re happy right now as an electrician, your passion is current
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
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My current driving situation
πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tenshortdays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working. reddit.com/r/puns/comment…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dendeqtele
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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Ex-hula hoop champions wouldn't even understand the sophisticated techniques of current competitors.

They've just been out of the loop for too long.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanjently
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
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I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.

I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3hN1nj4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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In Current Events...

We went rafting today!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masterj2378
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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My grandpa always said, β€œAlways try to be the fish going against the current.”

Good man. Got electrocuted every day though.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Back in the 1970s, AC/DC was current.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butterfly_burps
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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β€œI only listen to current music”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yourSAS
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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If my current career doesn't work out, I might have a future in stripping.
πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellyjandrews
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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How do sea animals forecast current patterns?

They use algae-rhythms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chexmp
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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"Yeah our current employees are pretty lame" - Management
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
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I'm currently attending a coding bootcamp and our current sprint is recreating a youtube client with reactJS...

The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Glitchsbrew
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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I asked my dad if I should quit my current job to be a pilates instructor instead.

He said to me, "son, that move will need some big balls."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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No matter what happens in music, AC/DC will always be current
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πŸ‘€︎ u/memes4days
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Which rock band is always current?

AC⚑️DC

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HHStorm21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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What does a current chant when met with resistance?

Ohmmmmm.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockplops
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Regarding the current top post, I'd like to add

1 + 1 = 2. Thanks.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
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There's a fine line between alternating current and direct current...

AC/DC

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
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Girl are you Electric current?

Cuz, you're a q/t

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSwastik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2018
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My Dad is a little confused about current fashion trends.

I walked into the kitchen wearing a new orange t-shirt.

Me: I wasn't sure I'd look good in orange, but I really like this new shirt.

Dad: You know, I heard orange is the new black.

Me: That's a TV show.

Dad: Oh, that makes so much more sense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizkidmn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
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"did you factor in the restance when calculating the current" "no i dont think so"

"ohm no"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lasagna_banagna
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
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I wish characters from Disney animation would explain current events to me.

I'd love to see Brexit Ralph.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Saith_Cassus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
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Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current

Because it's heavy metal

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ams1492
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Do you know anything about Kirchoff's Current Law?

I'm only familiar with his older stuff. Sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 161
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PRESTOALOE
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
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One way to solve the current water shortage is to integrate all Amazon Prime accounts.

According to Calculus, we will get an Amazon, plus a sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2018
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Asking me to rewash a dusty dish: "Have you seen the current state of them?"

"New Jersey, just like everything else in the damn house."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magnalbatross
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
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Actually, she's my current...

I'm a 29-year-old dad of a 2-year-old. Wife and I stopped at Hot Head Burritos yesterday and the girl making the burritos said, "I'll mark yours with an X," to my wife.

I said, "Yeah, she's an X.... well, actually, she's my current."

Groans everywhere. I thought it was hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KigerWulf
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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Shall I name this new insect I discovered after the current British Prime Minister?

Maybe....

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flayan514
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
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Complaing to my wife about the quality of our current batch of oolong tea:

She responds with "oh, I know why it's not as good! We bought oo-short tea!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crepusculi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
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I think I used to be a cow. All of my current problems seem to be ruminants of a past life.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogermanus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2014
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My dad's reasoning for Baltimore's current state.

http://i.imgur.com/rTh3cwi.png

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxDosEquisManxx
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2015
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Texting with my dad about my upcoming move out-of-state. (My current roommate's name is Forrest.)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-dangerkid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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My current dad joke of choice while grocery shopping

Cashier: would you like these [insert specific item] in a bag?

Me: no, we'll just eat them on the way home.

Tonight, it was a sack of potatoes, other times its been flowers or a bag of sugar. Everyone, I've received a polite chuckle and an eye roll from my family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/captainjoel17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2015
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