My tree is very smart. At its current age, it understands all branches of mathematics. But when it was just a little sapling...
It only knew twigonometry
I found an amazing mathematical equation that perfectly sums up our current situation:
= > ÷
...okay it doesn't sum it up but you get the idea.
The FDA recently mandated that chocolate has to contain 12% cacao instead of the current 10%.
Looks like they're raising the chocolate bar.
The current whereabouts of NK dictator still an Kim Jong-Unsolved mystery
When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.
I thought this was appropriate given our current circumstances. One of those jokes that makes you stop and chuckle.
I just realized what current newborns of the Islamic faith will be called from 2033-2040
Toilet paper companies have decided against increasing production to meet current demands.
They said it would make business plunge.
A current Dad joke!
All children born within the next year or two will be part of the group known as “Coronnials”.
In light of current events, I've been doing some self reflection and I came to the conclusion that I need to be more like a German child.
If we would explain the the current US political situation to the 2010 us at a fantasy fare, they would jokingly call it some batshit magic 'Hocus POTUS'...
If i intend to buy an electric car, do i need a current driving license?
If a battery is dead does that mean it is current ly not working.
I kind of thought it was a positive joke.
I told my boss that three companies were after me, and I needed a raise to stay at my current job.
"Which companies are after you?" my boss asked.
"Gas, electric and cable" I responded.
If you’re happy right now as an electrician, your passion is current
My current driving situation
Ex-hula hoop champions wouldn't even understand the sophisticated techniques of current competitors.
They've just been out of the loop for too long.
Do you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car
Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.
I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.
I’ve peaked. My girlfriend and her friend are both leaving their current jobs for better positions. This is the best joke I’ve ever made.
My grandpa always said, “Always try to be the fish going against the current.”
Good man. Got electrocuted every day though.
Back in the 1970s, AC/DC was current.
“I only listen to current music”
If my current career doesn't work out, I might have a future in stripping.
How do sea animals forecast current patterns?
"Yeah our current employees are pretty lame" - Management
I'm currently attending a coding bootcamp and our current sprint is recreating a youtube client with reactJS...
The name of the page we're creating is recast.ly => Rick Astley.
I asked my dad if I should quit my current job to be a pilates instructor instead.
He said to me, "son, that move will need some big balls."
No matter what happens in music, AC/DC will always be current
Which rock band is always current?
What does a current chant when met with resistance?
Regarding the current top post, I'd like to add
There's a fine line between alternating current and direct current...
Girl are you Electric current?
My Dad is a little confused about current fashion trends.
I walked into the kitchen wearing a new orange t-shirt.
Me: I wasn't sure I'd look good in orange, but I really like this new shirt.
Dad: You know, I heard orange is the new black.
Me: That's a TV show.
Dad: Oh, that makes so much more sense.
"did you factor in the restance when calculating the current" "no i dont think so"
I wish characters from Disney animation would explain current events to me.
I'd love to see Brexit Ralph.
Plugging wires into a lead block produces an AC/DC current
Do you know anything about Kirchoff's Current Law?
I'm only familiar with his older stuff. Sorry.
One way to solve the current water shortage is to integrate all Amazon Prime accounts.
According to Calculus, we will get an Amazon, plus a sea.
Asking me to rewash a dusty dish: "Have you seen the current state of them?"
"New Jersey, just like everything else in the damn house."
Actually, she's my current...
I'm a 29-year-old dad of a 2-year-old. Wife and I stopped at Hot Head Burritos yesterday and the girl making the burritos said, "I'll mark yours with an X," to my wife.
I said, "Yeah, she's an X.... well, actually, she's my current."
Groans everywhere. I thought it was hilarious.
Shall I name this new insect I discovered after the current British Prime Minister?
Complaing to my wife about the quality of our current batch of oolong tea:
She responds with "oh, I know why it's not as good! We bought oo-short tea!"
I think I used to be a cow. All of my current problems seem to be ruminants of a past life.
My dad's reasoning for Baltimore's current state.
Texting with my dad about my upcoming move out-of-state. (My current roommate's name is Forrest.)
My current dad joke of choice while grocery shopping
Cashier: would you like these [insert specific item] in a bag?
Me: no, we'll just eat them on the way home.
Tonight, it was a sack of potatoes, other times its been flowers or a bag of sugar. Everyone, I've received a polite chuckle and an eye roll from my family.