He replied "Chai, nah".
They’re calling it Sonblock.
“Woah, woah, doc,” I said, “Let’s not make any rash decisions.”
I don't see this happening, but it would be nice if there were topical post flairs we could mark our dad jokes with. For example "movies", "kitchen", "car", "job", "wife", "mother-n-law", etc. I suppose the possibilities are endless, which probably means it won't be happening. But, you'll be cooler than my dad, if you do. :-) There is a lot of comedy gold on here, which would be great to have these to sort by when inspiration fails to strike.
oinkment
Was at CostCo (big box store) with the wife.
Wife: "Since there's only two of us tonight, I thought I'd by a rack of lamb for dinner. That way we can each have half of a rack."
Me (with no hesitation): "Just like ISIS."
Wife: :|
Me: :D
Howdy punsters!
Please remember when posting to /r/puns that the punchline should be in the post itself, not the topic. Puns should be self-explanatory. If you have to explain it, please do so in the comments. We've had a lot of puns lately, especially images, ruined before clicking on them when the whole thing was spoiled in the topic line.
Up to now, we've been assigning "for shame" flair when this happens, but it's become very common lately. As a result, posts with punchlines in the topic will be removed.
Thanks!
I'm mass-turd-baiting.
She's always pointing them out to me.
I honestly didn’t even know she sold flowers
Sometimes, not so solid, either.
I did some yardwork yesterday and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?" At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions. Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion: A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case. Time for another beer.
It always leads to the deepest discussion.
Because he was asked to research.
It's topical and stuff
I’m not sure but always wear a helmet on your Segway
Mice cream and cake!
Example:
Top Level: FISH
Pun Level: I really like fish, but some people don't, they find them really icthy
But every time I bring it up, she changes the topic.
So now I won't be bringing that up any more
... but nowadays, when someone gets Botox, nobody raises an eyebrow!
Not sure if links to videos are allowed here but I made a sketch that’s on topic so I hope you enjoy.
Do you like your Family’s Punditry?
Scientist #1: I think we should name them something funny like doodoo strings
Scientist #2: Yeah, i think that’s pretty silly, but i think they should be called something more Cillia
It was a real naan sequitur.
I find those topics to be quite polarizing.
...he would be the artist formerly known as Prince.
But it's just a crying shame none of them are called "Daddy Issues"
But it's not far behind.
He said, "Thank you."
I said, "Don't mention it."
That's a very important fact I just read and wanted to share with you guys. Buying beds is a serious topic.
