Don't you think Gonorrhoea would be a great name for Diarrhea medicine?
In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine
That made him the centaur for disease control
My dad is getting too old for a medicine cabinet.
My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...
Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".
Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".
Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".
Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".
Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".
Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".
Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".
Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!
You know what would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine?
Where do fish go to get medicine
They say laughter is the best medicine but where do you get it?
What Do You Call a Type of Medicine That You’re Related To?
My medicine makes me depressed
Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.
Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.
Did you hear about the new topical birth control medicine?
They’re calling it Sonblock.
How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?
Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?" /r/Jokes/comments/g6zr2k/…
Why did the little boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Because he heard there were sleeping pills in there.
In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.
You could say he was the centaur for disease control
Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.
Because everything will get only harder.
What is the medicine vampires takes when sick ?
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for Diarrhea medicine
My schizophrenia medicine is really messing with me...
and me and me and me and me.
If you looked into my medicine cabinet...
...you would assume I have very conflicting views on biotics.
How many jokes about medicine does it take before people get sick of them?
Baguette medicine is what I need
Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.
Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.
Her: Did you........make a pun?
Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?
Her: Never mind.
Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!
Her: You're a dork.
What is Halloween's favorite medicine?
Any brand of coffin cold.
"Hey can you give me, like, medicine?"
Gonorrhea would have been an excellent name for diarrhea medicine.
There was a farmer selling his produce at the side of the road, I pulled over as I was a bit hungry to get an apple. I noticed he also sold paracetamol and cough medicine. I asked him "why do you sell drugs?"
He said "I'm a farmer see"
Just when I thought medicine had gone to the dogs...
My doctor said that my sleeping medicine can cause Alzheimer's
What the best way to package cold sore medicine?
Does medicine make you happy?
What medicine did the bed take?
Try not to make noise by the medicine cabinet.
You might wake the sleeping pills.
What kind of medicine did the tree take for its aches and pains?
The nurse in the hospital gave me an entire crate of the wrong medicine AND it was outdated! I almost died!
I got a bad case of poison I.V.
Why did the barista pour medicine into the latte?
I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....
Now her clothes don't fit.
What do you call alternative medicine that actually works?
Why did the banana took some medicine?
Because he wasn't peeling well
What kind of medicine used to be a power tool?
I asked my building group chat for cold medicine.
After getting a response I informed everyone that my problem had been remedied.
Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?
What do you call someone who argues in favour of the Greek god of the sun, poetry, medicine, and prophecy?
A pharmaceutical company just patented a medication that regenerates limbs. The problem is it costs an arm and a leg.
What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?
They're both Hippocrates.
Where do sick cows get medicine?
I didn't use to have much faith in modern medicine...
but then I had to undergo emergency brain surgery and it really changed my mind.
What kind of medicine can you finish quickly?
What do medicine men eat for lunch?
Why did the miniature pony drink cough medicine?
because it was a little horse
I love Herbal Medicine...
...its great for my Joints.
How'd the couch swallow his medicine?
Laughter is the best medicine, right?
I work in a hospital. I was working with a patient who had a few injuries on only the left side of his body. Just before I left his room, the sentence "You know, if we just cut off the left side of your body, you'll be all right." slipped out of my mouth. The nurses all looked at me with disappointment.
The nurse came to give my sister some pain medicine...
I said "Oh, its morphine time."
This an old one. One time I was sick when I was a kid so I went to see a doctor, who happened to be my aunt. Anyway, after I'm done I meet up with my dad in the waiting room.
Me: Looks like I got a throat infection, Dad.
Him (looking at prescription slip): I know, I see she's prescribed you some AUNTI-biotics
Groaned all the way to the pharmacy.
I sewed my dad's hand up after a glass related incident. After an hour or two and a couple drinks, I hear him yelling downstairs, "I FOUND AN IPAD IN THE MEDICINE CABINET!" m.imgur.com/QUpaMIC
Teacher mentioned specialist who would massage one's aura in a lecture on holistic medicine...
..."I could really go for an aural massage right now" I said.
I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until I felt everyone silently staring at me.
My dad's go-to joke when anybody takes medicine.
If symptoms persist, insult your doctor.
House MD (Dad of Medicine)
Patient: I don't wanna hear semantics
House: You anti-semantic bastard.
I grinned, girlfriend groaned.
Finally gave my dad a taste of his own medicine in the thrift store
Dad plugging in a vacuum at Goodwill to see if it works
Dad: I think this is a pretty decent vacuum for the price, what do you think?
Me: Seems pretty sucky to me.
What medicine so you give to a pig
Why did the moron tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
Me: I need cold medicine
Dad: Cold medicine you have a cold you need hot medicine
Wife asked for her medicine.
W - "Can you get my dose?"
Me - holds up two fingers "Dos? Si."
W - "No, dose. Medicine."
Me - "NoDoz? I think you need all the rest you can get."
W - "Just move. I'll get it."
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine