There's a medicine you can buy that apparently cures scepticism.

But I'm not buying it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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Given that a case of the sniffles means staying home from school, we give my daughter a daily allergy medicine. My wife was giving her breakfast before school, and when I walked out, I asked if she’d had her medicine yet.

My daughter said yes, and I replied, β€œSo you’re de-Claritin that you’ve had it already?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bpcombs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Did you hear the Journal of Modern Medicine rejected an article about Midol?

The editor said it was not current at all, but more of a period piece!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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My ADHD medicine comes in a case shaped like a 3-sided polygon where each side is the same size, and the pills are distributed uniformly.

It's an equal Adderall triangle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I started practicing complementary medicine.

You are really smart!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Don't you think Gonorrhoea would be a great name for Diarrhea medicine?

No shit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I made a medicine using ducks that can cure cancer...

That’s quackery!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PhCuber05
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Medicine

Where do fish go to get medicine The pharmasea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJrack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."

"I shit you knot."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine

That made him the centaur for disease control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billyboogie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My dad is getting too old for a medicine cabinet.

Now he has a drug attic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDS327
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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They say laughter is the best medicine but where do you get it?

The ha-spital.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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You know what would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine?

Gonorrhea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dc2k4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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What Do You Call a Type of Medicine That You’re Related To?

Antacid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGeekman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.

Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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My medicine makes me depressed

It's a sadative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?

Via bowel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTHVSK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Did you hear about the new topical birth control medicine?

They’re calling it Sonblock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibiachika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?" /r/Jokes/comments/g6zr2k/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/austin29684
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.

Because everything will get only harder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrokraj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Why did the little boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Because he heard there were sleeping pills in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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What is the medicine vampires takes when sick ?

A coffin mixture !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lochltar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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How many jokes about medicine does it take before people get sick of them?

Over dos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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My schizophrenia medicine is really messing with me...

and me and me and me and me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinsins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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Baguette medicine is what I need
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotician1980
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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If you looked into my medicine cabinet...

...you would assume I have very conflicting views on biotics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterjswift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.

Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.

Her: Did you........make a pun?

Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?

Her: Never mind.

Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!

Her: You're a dork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTFOakaFOD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Just when I thought medicine had gone to the dogs...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbedo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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What is Halloween's favorite medicine?

Any brand of coffin cold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VenomousPrime2017
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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"Hey can you give me, like, medicine?"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3lebrot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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There was a farmer selling his produce at the side of the road, I pulled over as I was a bit hungry to get an apple. I noticed he also sold paracetamol and cough medicine. I asked him "why do you sell drugs?"

He said "I'm a farmer see"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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My doctor said that my sleeping medicine can cause Alzheimer's

I said β€œwhat can?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bauerttv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What medicine did the bed take?

Pill O's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSpSpoSpouSpout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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What the best way to package cold sore medicine?

In a blister pack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Does medicine make you happy?

Because it made Bengay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skull_Bag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What kind of medicine did the tree take for its aches and pains?

Aleaf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncool_iowan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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Try not to make noise by the medicine cabinet.

You might wake the sleeping pills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Where do fish go to get medicine

the pharmasea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsgkiwi_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
πŸ‘︎ 31k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daugarten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for Diarrhea medicine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOnlyJolt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.

You could say he was the centaur for disease control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Gonorrhea would have been an excellent name for diarrhea medicine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathlydrac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubeva_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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