Don't you think Gonorrhoea would be a great name for Diarrhea medicine?

No shit!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HydrosFear
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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In Greek Mythology, Chiron was not only half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of medicine

That made him the centaur for disease control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billyboogie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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My dad is getting too old for a medicine cabinet.

Now he has a drug attic

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDS327
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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You know what would’ve been a good name for a diarrhea medicine?

Gonorrhea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dc2k4
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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Where do fish go to get medicine

the pharmasea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lsgkiwi_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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They say laughter is the best medicine but where do you get it?

The ha-spital.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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What Do You Call a Type of Medicine That You’re Related To?

Antacid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGeekman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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My medicine makes me depressed

It's a sadative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Didn’t last long though.

Turns out that thyme doesn’t heal all wounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Did you hear about the new topical birth control medicine?

They’re calling it Sonblock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chibiachika
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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How does Vanna White take her constipation medicine?

Via bowel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MBTHVSK
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?" /r/Jokes/comments/g6zr2k/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/austin29684
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Why did the little boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?

Because he heard there were sleeping pills in there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leftonasournote
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
In Greek mythology, Chiron was half man, half horse. He had knowledge and wisdom in medicine.

You could say he was the centaur for disease control

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxwtf585
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.

Because everything will get only harder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrokraj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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What is the medicine vampires takes when sick ?

A coffin mixture !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lochltar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
πŸ‘︎ 31k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daugarten
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
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Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for Diarrhea medicine
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOnlyJolt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2018
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My schizophrenia medicine is really messing with me...

and me and me and me and me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tinsins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
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If you looked into my medicine cabinet...

...you would assume I have very conflicting views on biotics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peterjswift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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How many jokes about medicine does it take before people get sick of them?

Over dos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rooner_Spism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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Baguette medicine is what I need
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chaotician1980
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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Tonight, my daughter assisted me in hanging a new medicine cabinet.

Me: I think I measured wrong. The toggle bolts aren't lining up with the darned holes. Man, I really screwed this up.

Her: Did you........make a pun?

Me: concentrating on the task at hand Huh?

Her: Never mind.

Me: gets it Ha! No, but that's awesome! "Screwed" it up. Ha! You're a PunMaster!

Her: You're a dork.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GTFOakaFOD
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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What is Halloween's favorite medicine?

Any brand of coffin cold.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VenomousPrime2017
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
"Hey can you give me, like, medicine?"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/T3lebrot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Gonorrhea would have been an excellent name for diarrhea medicine.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathlydrac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
There was a farmer selling his produce at the side of the road, I pulled over as I was a bit hungry to get an apple. I noticed he also sold paracetamol and cough medicine. I asked him "why do you sell drugs?"

He said "I'm a farmer see"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickl444
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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Just when I thought medicine had gone to the dogs...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qbedo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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My doctor said that my sleeping medicine can cause Alzheimer's

I said β€œwhat can?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bauerttv
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What the best way to package cold sore medicine?

In a blister pack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Does medicine make you happy?

Because it made Bengay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skull_Bag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2019
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What medicine did the bed take?

Pill O's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SSpSpoSpouSpout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2018
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Try not to make noise by the medicine cabinet.

You might wake the sleeping pills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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What kind of medicine did the tree take for its aches and pains?

Aleaf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncool_iowan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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The nurse in the hospital gave me an entire crate of the wrong medicine AND it was outdated! I almost died!

I got a bad case of poison I.V.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2019
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Why did the barista pour medicine into the latte?

Because it was Coughee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JMBau13
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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Bill Gates and Elon Musk should team up and make a medicine to cure erectile dysfunction reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/schmidt_1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2018
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I dropped my wife's epilepsy medicine in the washing machine instead of fabric softener....

Now her clothes don't fit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2018
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What do you call alternative medicine that actually works?

Medicine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shinokiba-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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Why did the banana took some medicine?

Because he wasn't peeling well

:)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/j2ui
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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What kind of medicine used to be a power tool?

Benadryl

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeoldecotton_swab
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I asked my building group chat for cold medicine.

After getting a response I informed everyone that my problem had been remedied.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vulpestheredfox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?

Regular medicine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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What do you call someone who argues in favour of the Greek god of the sun, poetry, medicine, and prophecy?

An Apollo-jist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theEluminator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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Expensive medicine

A pharmaceutical company just patented a medication that regenerates limbs. The problem is it costs an arm and a leg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/54H60-77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2018
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What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?

They're both Hippocrates.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarrenWaters
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
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Where do sick cows get medicine?

At the Farmacy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MartinMusic83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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I didn't use to have much faith in modern medicine...

but then I had to undergo emergency brain surgery and it really changed my mind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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What kind of medicine can you finish quickly?

Vica-done

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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What do medicine men eat for lunch?

Shaman noodles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goat_chortle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
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My dad didn't appreciate the taste of his own medicine. imgur.com/9CjP4G0
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tessssss
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2013
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Why did the miniature pony drink cough medicine?

because it was a little horse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2016
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I love Herbal Medicine...

...its great for my Joints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBeerded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
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How'd the couch swallow his medicine?

With a cold sofa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Largedump
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
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Laughter is the best medicine, right?

I work in a hospital. I was working with a patient who had a few injuries on only the left side of his body. Just before I left his room, the sentence "You know, if we just cut off the left side of your body, you'll be all right." slipped out of my mouth. The nurses all looked at me with disappointment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fides-et-Gratia
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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The nurse came to give my sister some pain medicine...

I said "Oh, its morphine time."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DH2007able
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
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Bad medicine

This an old one. One time I was sick when I was a kid so I went to see a doctor, who happened to be my aunt. Anyway, after I'm done I meet up with my dad in the waiting room. Me: Looks like I got a throat infection, Dad. Him (looking at prescription slip): I know, I see she's prescribed you some AUNTI-biotics

Groaned all the way to the pharmacy.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2016
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I sewed my dad's hand up after a glass related incident. After an hour or two and a couple drinks, I hear him yelling downstairs, "I FOUND AN IPAD IN THE MEDICINE CABINET!" m.imgur.com/QUpaMIC
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jwidmann
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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Teacher mentioned specialist who would massage one's aura in a lecture on holistic medicine...

..."I could really go for an aural massage right now" I said.

I didn't realize I'd spoken aloud until I felt everyone silently staring at me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djtossaway
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2017
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giving him a taste of his own medicine. proud of him though! imgur.com/Afzt4Vt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeroosh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad's go-to joke when anybody takes medicine.

If symptoms persist, insult your doctor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahundredheys
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2015
🚨︎ report
House MD (Dad of Medicine)

Patient: I don't wanna hear semantics

House: You anti-semantic bastard.

I grinned, girlfriend groaned.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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Finally gave my dad a taste of his own medicine in the thrift store

Dad plugging in a vacuum at Goodwill to see if it works Dad: I think this is a pretty decent vacuum for the price, what do you think? Me: Seems pretty sucky to me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kylemramos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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What medicine so you give to a pig

dad: "Oinkment"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tbh11
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2015
🚨︎ report
Why did the moron tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?

He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Castamundo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2015
🚨︎ report
Me: I need cold medicine

Dad: Cold medicine you have a cold you need hot medicine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WIENS21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
🚨︎ report
Wife asked for her medicine.

W - "Can you get my dose?"

Me - holds up two fingers "Dos? Si."

W - "No, dose. Medicine."

Me - "NoDoz? I think you need all the rest you can get."

W - "Just move. I'll get it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/steeb2er
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Gonorrhea would have been a great name for diarrhea medicine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubeva_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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