What a strange pair-a-docs.
I guess C’s really do get degrees
because two of them together would be a paradox.
Because blood cells
Yeah, they’re a real pair o’ docs.
"But I'll have to tell that to your widow."
Against my better judgement, I followed my doctor's advice.
I get a real kick out of it.
They are all doctored.
She wanted to go for broke
Woks up, doc
....guess I shouldn't go to Doctors Without Hoarders......
Unfortunately, his dreams were dashed by a bout of Mao-practice.
Because he had no sense of humors
You can't, they're a pair-a-docs!
If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently in labor, dial 8...
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician
Come to find out, I'm just a Diet Coke-head
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To... keep reading on reddit ➡
Last night, my girlfriend's grandma was admitted to a nearby hospital for a heart rhythm abnormality. The admitting physician was a great guy, and concluded his admission assessment with a spontaneous, and entirely unrelated, dad joke.
"Did you hear about the two burglars who stole a calendar? They each got six months."
He promptly dropped his stethoscope and left. Boom.
ARBITRATOR: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds
AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do
BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage
BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with
CONTROL: A short, ugly inmate
COUNTERFEITERS: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living
EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist
HEROES: What a guy in a boat does
LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money
MISTY: How golfers create divots
PARADOX: Two physicians
PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm
POLARIZE: What penguins see with
I had some pain in my side, so i figured i'd rather be safe than sorry, so I went to the ER. The physician was doing an ultrasound to check for internal injuries, and he was like, "so that's your spleen, we check for this black line right there. This here is your kidney, which looks fine." and I replied "You gotta be kiddin-ney."
my mom thought it was funny as hell.
I work in an urgent care center. A patient signed in for a stuffy nose for 2 days. They asked how long the wait was and I said about 15 mins, the person rolled their eyes and walked out. I let the physician know that they walked out. She said "That's always good for their health" I said "Well they were my favorite kind of patient."
Before I was born my parents lived in Philadelphia. My mom was about 7 months along when they were referred by a friend of a friend to this pediatrician who was top notch. They were on their way for the first visit to the new doctors and they were running late. They walked into a crowded waiting room and went to the front glass and checked in. The secretary started yelling at my mother and father saying this is Dr. so and so, he is a top class physician, people wait years to get on his waiting list, AND YOU'RE LATE!
And my father goes "OF COURSE SHES LATE THATS HOW YOU END UP AT A PEDIATRICIAN'S OFFICE!"
Even the secretary cracked a smile as everyone else groaned and laughed.