Along with gender dysphoria, my doctor wanted to address my poor oral health.

She prescribed me trans-and-dental medication.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t Santa have to provide health insurance for his workers?

They’re technically Elf employed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrymmTravel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Birthdays are good for your health,

The more you have,the longer you live.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My doctor told me that I was going to have to make some sacrifices to improve my health....

Anyone know if he meant human or animals ?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the parasite infect the person who had many health problems?

A HOST of reasons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexd281
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
After years of worrying about my health, I made it to the gym today.

It feels like a weight’s been lifted from my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/attentyv
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Can someone connect mental health and dentistry in a pun?

I hope this appropriate to ask here. I am going to create a mental health support group on Facebook for Australian/New Zealand dental students and am needing a catchy/punny name. Currently there exists two mental health support groups that I know of on Facebook, both for dentists and not students. One is called Mental Dental and the other is called The Mental Block (alluding to the mental nerve in dentistry), so obviously I can't use those.

I'm not great with word games/etc so really appreciate any help. Thank you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallhaven
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization announced dogs cannot contract COVID-19 and indicated they should no longer be quarantined.

WHO let the dogs out.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ghosts love to eat health food so much?

Because it's super natural

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πŸ‘€︎ u/infinitywee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of health insurance do Halloween creatures have?

Medi-SCARE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SideEyeandSigh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Nose that has a job as a Health Inspector?

A Scenter for Disease Control.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organizatuon has discovered that Coronavirus cannot be transmitted between dogs and humans. They have released all quarantined dogs.

To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit the Corona Virus and should not be quarantined any longer.

W.H.O. Lets the dogs out!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I know it's a public health thing ... still getting pretty tired of this Korn teen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gotyememesplz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an old hermit who lived in a cave and walked a lot, but didn't have shoes. He also didn't have the greatest health and had really bad breath. They called him the:

Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Plagued with Halitosis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l8rry394
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My health science teacher said to drink milk to neutralize the acid in bleach

I told her she told us a lye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaerat_of_trivia
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Visiting my parents for the first time since COVID. He has taken up cropdusting people and proclaiming, "Surprise health check." To make sure you can smell and/or taste still.

Sorry not a witty one-liner but peak of dad humor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Infuuri
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My son turned 27, so he's no longer covered by my health insurance.

In other words, his manufacturer's warranty is up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MookieV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has determined that dogs cannot contract COVID-19. All dogs being held in quarantine will be released.

To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tregratinator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
World Health
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Just casual exchange with coworker in the health field.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkyunicorn12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs can’t transmit corona virus and therefore dogs don’t need to be quarantined anymore.

W.H.O let the dogs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released.

To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeataylorr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know the World Health Organisation?

WHO?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Euphoric_Stigma
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...

One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.

His wife answered the door.

"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."

"That much?"

"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."

"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.

"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My English skills and mental health need improvement, but my math skills are fine.

Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdiscer
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has said that dogs cannot get COVID19, so they have said dogs are not required to be in quarantine.

So, WHO let the dogs out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SisterRay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is there confusion over the health of North Korea’s leader?

When the reporter asked the doctor β€œhow is Kim Jong Un?”

Doctor replied: Kim Jong Ill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/herotz33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Dogs can not contract coronavirus and do not have to quarantined anymore according to the world health organization

To clarify, WHO let the dogs out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wallaster27
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
In interest of my health, I've stopped putting sauce on my potato dumplings.

I'm eating my gnocchi bare.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
A new study reveals that listening to a Queen album might be bad for your health.

Because of the unusually high Mercury content.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
Who manages our health?

Who?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/In5idiu5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed a health and safety course yesterday. One of the questions was β€˜in the event of a fire, what steps would you take?’

β€˜Large ones’ was apparently the wrong answer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pheebsbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Now that I have more time, I’ve decided to take care of my health and eat a more balanced diet.

I haven’t dropped any food so far!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StCecilia98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend goes from town to town preaching the health benefits of eating dried grapes every day.

It’s all about raisin awareness l

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the ignorant man say when he heard the Corona virus had been given a new name by the world health organisation

WHO?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hetchem994
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization changes their slogan.

W.H.O. Cares

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UofTCadet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Quick health warning: You can’t touch this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
🚨︎ report
My health insurance company refused to pay my bill because I believe in reincarnation.

They said I have a pre existing condition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: According to the World Health Organization...

My dad: WHO?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rms1111
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization has declared that dogs cannot transmit Coronavirus, and there is no reason to quarantine dogs anymore. /r/Jokes/comments/fe5cmp/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report

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