My therapist just told me I have extreme difficulty in picking up social cues.
I think she is in love with me.
My neighbor is stalking me by looking me up on Google and checking my social media every hour
I saw it through my telescope last night
What do you call a minty horse on social media?
A tik tok tic tac clip clop.
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
Social distancing doesn’t work
No matter how far apart two people are, there’s only four feet between them!
Didja know that in Turkey they have a social networking dedicated to red hats?
what did the doctor say to the man with the social media addiction?
I am very sorry sir, I am afraid your condition is not tweetable....
I'm a utilitarian when it comes to social media.
The ends justify the memes.
I don't get how it's possible to reduce the social distancing requirement from six feet to three feet.
In almost all cases its impossible to have three feet between 2 people.
Social media issues
The other day I Stumbledupon my Instagram and lost Pinterest
What's Thanos' favourite social network?
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing...
But this is as close as I could get.
My friend gave me a book about social media as a gift.
Unfortunately, I already Reddit.
Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.
wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.
What social media platform do chickens enjoy?
what's the most well-known cake in social media?
What do you call a reptile that's always starting shit on social media?
What do you call a social media influencer who can also write code?
Anyone with the last name Boyce has a social responsibility to name their son Ferdinand
Come on, it’s Ferda Boyce
Social distancing has led to Hooters offering delivery to your door.
They’re changing their name to Knockers.
Social Distancing Pickup Lines
- If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
- Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
- Can't spell virus without U and I.
- Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
- I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
- Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
- Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.
credit: some facebook post i saw.
I buy a new clock every time a new social movement forms.
Because the times, they are a-changin'.
What happens when people refuse to social distance?
If all social media came to an end
It would be post apocalyptic
I heard Mike Tyson will be launching a Christian dedicated social media site.
He's calling it "Faithbook".
Social distancing is just a step in the right direction.
The ocean must have really bad social anxiety.
It never says hi. It just waves
I'm thinking about starting a social media network for chickens
But not as a full-time job, just as a way to make hens meet.
The Social Security Administration
One should not recorder this kind of thing on social media
For my birthday, my wife got me a book about social media.
It was a sweet gesture, but I already reddit.
What do social media and dancing former vice presidents have in common?
When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? We should call that "social pisstancing".
I love social media, I can offend thousands of people all at once...
Back in my day, I had to do it one at a time.
Sloths are the most social animals.
They always want to hang out.
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.
I did it to make hens meet.
A Police officer called Roxanne told me how to social distance,
She said "don't stand, don't stand so close to me"
Did you know Bennie and The Jets were the first group to social distance ?
I make my dog wear shoes at social events
So nobody notices his forepaws.
Hey Kids, wanta hear a dadjoke about Social Security?
Ah, nevermind, you probably won't get it anyways?
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.
They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing.
This is as close as I could get.
I tried very hard to come up with a joke about social distancing.
But this is as close as I could get.
My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she’s in love with me.
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