Only one was like "Yemen"
The cold shoulder
Because they’re all fungi’s
It goes in one year and out the other.
He kept things pretty low key.
“No thanks, I’m stuffed!"
He drank a full glass.
He was offered a refill.
The guy was one punch man.
... the man agreed, but he doesn't have much experteas in the subject
So they can pasta parcel!
I was immediately kicked out.
Tsunami had a silent tea.
Now I’m homeless.
Nobody churned up.
That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.
Sorry, we're all out of Guccis.
We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.
Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.
Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"
And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.
So I replied, "K, so?"
IT was hard.
As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.
It specializes in ringing in the new ear!
Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke
Sorry for going on a tangent
On the way home I got mugged.
On December twelfth.
When I arrived, his house was on fire. Damn, the party must be lit.
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter. So proud!!
I thought 'He knows how to make an entrance'.
But it turns out it was just a facade.
They bring all the booze.
“I’m a turtle,” he says. “Oh... who’s on your back?” “That’s Michelle,” he replies.
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.
They quickly became the centaur of attention
The host says, “What are you dressed as?” I tell him, “I’m a harp.” He says, “But your costume is to small to be a harp.” I was incredibly offended, and tell him, “Are you calling me a lyre?!”
I know, I know, that was Terryble
He had to stand post
Now, I'm homeless.