How does NASA organise a party?

They planet.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/single_clone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
I asked all the countries in the world if they wanted to throw a party. All of them told me they can't because of covid.

Only one was like "Yemen"

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
What was the cannibal given after he showed up late to the dinner party?

The cold shoulder

πŸ‘︎ 527
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onemangang15
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Housewarming party
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sobie02
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do mushrooms always get invited to parties?

Because they’re all fungi’s

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
🚨︎ report
I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties

It goes in one year and out the other.

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
The Norse god of mischief only had private birthday parties.

He kept things pretty low key.

πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy goes to a party,and was offered some punch

He drank a full glass.

He was offered a refill.

He declined.

The guy was one punch man.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
A man's daughter wanted to have a tea party with him...

... the man agreed, but he doesn't have much experteas in the subject

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WarriorCats423
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Why do Italian people bring ravioli to birthday parties?

So they can pasta parcel!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obiwan_kenobinil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
How do you host a space party?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 92
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nchiladas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.

I was immediately kicked out.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
Tsunami invited Cyclone ,Earthquake and Drought to a tea party.

Nobody came.

Tsunami had a silent tea.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.

Now I’m homeless.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomguy6282
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that farmer that hosted a party?

Nobody churned up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zakramsey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
My dad asked me to hand out invitations for my brothers surprise birthday party...

That's when I realised he was the favourite twin.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the handbag salesman say when he ran out of Camembert at his dinner party?

Sorry, we're all out of Guccis.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kartenhouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a woman once at a party celebrating my father's 50th birthday.

We got to talking and I found out she worked as a stunt double on some pretty big name movie sets. She looked to be at least 10 years my senior but very fit and attractive and we both seemed to really be hitting it off.

Because all the immediate family in the local area had thrown a smaller, more private celebration for my father a few days prior, I didn't really feel a need to stick around any longer, so I asked the woman if she was interested in sharing some drinks with me at the nearby Hilton where I was staying. She happily accepted.

Suddenly, I turned towards the sound of my father's voice cheerfully calling out the name "Andra" (pronounced ON-druh) and my own as he approached. Andra, the woman I had been speaking with, turned towards him, glanced quickly back at me, then looked back again at my father and with a disconcerted look on her face exclaimed, "Oh brother!"

And that's when I realized the double, Aunt Andra.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A__Wild__Goose
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Looks like the Democrats are now the party of β€œA. Blinken.”
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ReepinItReal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to a great party for meteorologists yesterday....

Lovely atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me to pick up cheese dip for the New Years Eve party.

So I replied, "K, so?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
No one at my party was able to break the clown piΓ±ata.

IT was hard.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My friends threw a house warming party in my new igloo.

Now, I'm homeless.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I once knew a guy who went to a party in Florida and got so drunk that he woke up in Alabama.

As you can imagine, he wasn't in a very good state.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is tinnitus a good guest for your holiday party?

It specializes in ringing in the new ear!

Shoutout to my coworker for coming up with half of this amazing joke

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ganders81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SaymoSaymo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter set up a party and led me to the registration sheet. It said "Sine here". Now I am wondering if there is another sheet that says "Cosine there".

Sorry for going on a tangent

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.

On the way home I got mugged.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How does NASA organize a party?

They planet ; )

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/livinloud2015
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
When do Santa's elves have their Christmas party?

On December twelfth.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mycology student who loves to party

A fungi

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trundle-theGr8
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend invited me to his house for a party

When I arrived, his house was on fire. Damn, the party must be lit.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cjyea124
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you throw a party in space?

You planet.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/high-priestess
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you plan a party in space?

You planet

Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter. So proud!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cantfindacoolnik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm at this party when all of a sudden this guy comes in and says "Hello I'm a builder."

I thought 'He knows how to make an entrance'.

But it turns out it was just a facade.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vesurel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are ghosts the best to party with?

They bring all the booze.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

β€œI’m a turtle,” he says. β€œOh... who’s on your back?” β€œThat’s Michelle,” he replies.

πŸ‘︎ 142
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safazz146
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...

They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...

I knew there and then that she was the One!!

πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I lost my watch at a party on Saturday...

An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_NotSlimShady
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
After my son’s team won the soccer tournament, the goalkeeper invited the two of us for a party.

It was the father, the son, and the goalie host.

πŸ‘︎ 423
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I invited the local farmer and his horse to my son's birthday party

They quickly became the centaur of attention

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TakoBoi123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
So I went to a costume party dressed as a harp.

The host says, β€œWhat are you dressed as?” I tell him, β€œI’m a harp.” He says, β€œBut your costume is to small to be a harp.” I was incredibly offended, and tell him, β€œAre you calling me a lyre?!”

πŸ‘︎ 777
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I'd invite Terry to the Halloween party, but I think he'll be terryfied

I know, I know, that was Terryble

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the stamp go to the party?

He had to stand post

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ellegirl82091
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you have a party in Space??

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 425
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yuri-123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you have a party in space?

You planet

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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