A farmer’s son asked why people have celiac disease
The farmer replied “because these people hate my grains”
What do you call it when a robot gets lung disease?
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal.
Crohn's is a really shitty disease.
Literally. And figuratively.
My monkey friend says that he can use martial arts to fight off disease. I think he's tricking me and he says
Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "
Bartender: "Get your shots here !!"
Movie pitch: A pandemic is unleashed by ticks that live on and around the mouths of alpacas. Global chaos ensues as the disease wipes out 99% of humanity.
Desperate survivors are forced to live in a post-alpaca lip tick wasteland.
Life is a terminal disease....
....and it's sexually transmitted.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
I was diagnosed with Dunlaps Disease shortly after feasting my way through the holiday season...
Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
A new disease is sweeping the world. It's a type of nostril infection, very costly to test for
But one man, born with extra sensitive smelling, has been providing free exams to the public to eradicate this new threat. Dr. Theodore Nose of UCH Hospital has a long line of patients waiting every morning, wanting the incredible accuracy of this man.
And as his secretary says...
No one's nose knows noses like Nose's nose knows noses.
Doc: "Sir, you've caught a very rare disease. "
Me: "How rare?"
Doc: "You pick the name.
Have you heard about the disease you get from kissing birds ?
It's called Chirpies. It's a canarial disease. It's untweetable.
What do you call a bacterial disease caused by two grizzlies ?
What happens, when a doctor catches a disease, that he already found the cure for?
He gets a taste of his own medicine.
What disease do old pirates dread most?
I made a joke saying this Thanksgiving would be extra special because we'll be spreading around diseases like the original Thanksgiving. Someone told me "too soon".
They were right. I should have waited until next week.
CDC declares Diarrhea to be a genetic disease
I was just diagnosed with Mime disease...
What does the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases say when he stubs his toe?
I have this disease where I can’t stop signaling to planes for help.
The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.
What’s the coolest disease or condition one can die from?
Hypothermia! It’s the coolest way to go.
What do you say if you find a person trying to poison someone with celiacs disease
I’ve caught you bread handed
People say smoking will give you diseases...
But how can they say that when it cures salmon?
What do you call someone who worships diseases?
What disease do crows get?
I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.
He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.
Doctor: You have a disease that causes memory loss.
Me: Is it contagious?
Doctor: Is what contagious?
Does anyone know if that Corona Virus goes well with Lyme Disease?
I’ve been diagnosed with a terrible disease that makes me tell an abundance of airport jokes...
The doctor says it’s terminal
What is the most concerning thing about Lyme Disease?
New cases have lately been on an uptick.
The new Nas album King’s Disease may not have been the GOAT
Did you hear about the new disease caused by oregano?
I thought I had a good joke about a contagious disease but I was wrong.
What do you call a dwarf convict with a debilitating skin disease?
My doc said I shouldn't be making puns on diabetes its a serious disease..
I said I can't help it doc, its a pun-creatic disease.
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
What's the worst combination of two diseases?
Alzheimer's and Diarrhoea .
You're running but you don't know where .
I’ve got this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it’s terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
I think it may be terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
My doctor says it terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it's terminal.
I have this awful disease where I can’t stop telling airport jokes.
My doctor says it’s terminal.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes.
The doctor says it's terminal.
Doctor: "Alcoholism is a disease. "
Barman: "Get your shots here."
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
my doctor says it's terminal
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes
The doctor says it's terminal
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