Why did Dwayne β€˜The Rock’ Johnson’s family get tested for COVID-19

They couldn’t smell what the rock was cooking.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potato_fish12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Story: Lasting after effect of COVID-19

True story. Happen about 2 hrs ago.

Back trying. My wife and I both work in the medical field. She runs hospital employee health dept, and I’m the dental director for a public health agency.

My wife had Covid-19 in January. We were talking about the long term, later effects of Covid on people’s health.

Wife: I wonder what the residual effects of Covid-19 are. My left ear hasn’t been right since I had Covid.

Me: Well of course not.

Wife: Why? What have you heard?

Me: Well your left ear can’t feel right. It’s your left ear.

Wife: God, why did I marry you 33 years ago?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Divinepyramid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
The spread of Covid 19 is based on 2 factors....
  1. How dense the population is.

  2. How dense the population is.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm on the fence about the COVID-19 vaccine, but the free stuff you can get for showing your vaccination card looks really nice.

I guess it's worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ixfd64
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA

Should see it as an opportunity

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wibie90
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
One of my colleagues has just told me he’s caught COVID-19 from his cat...

Don’t ask meow.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cheifsup
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
We shouldn’t be making jokes about COVID 19

They’re tasteless.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deedubya8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......

I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darthchris
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does nobody in Antarctica have Covid-19?

Because they're too ice-o-lated

πŸ‘︎ 276
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Santa Claus have to worry about catching COVID-19?

Because he has Santa-bodies.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeefEater81
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an emtional covid 19 immunization?

A Vacc-scene

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fanklinthefox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.

It helps me namaste at home.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndaVosari
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The way kids are dressing these days makes me think they all have COVID-19...

...they obviously have no taste.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NutTote
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can’t Santa Claus get COVID-19?

He has santibodies.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeazer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!

It’s called plant yourself on the couch.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bubble_2107
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...

If they survive, the vaccine is safe.

If they don't, the country is safe.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to COVID-19, the German government is advising that people stock up on sausages and cheese.

They are preparing for a wurst kΓ€se scenario.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GamerFluff27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Are you COVID-19?

Cos you sure as hell took my breath away, girl!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poedan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
You think Covid-19 is bad? Back in prehistoric times we had the TyrannoSARS virus.

Symptoms include severe triceracoughs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/copenhagen_bram
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
How did they know Dracula had covid-19?

Because of his Coffin.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike561991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren’t there any COVID-19 cases in Antarctica?

Because they’re all ice-olated.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfboy78
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.

You could say it's a choronic disease.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kngfbng
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A baggage handler couldn’t understand how he caught COVID 19 but was discharged from hospital the next day.

The Doctor told him it was a brief-case.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elliottcrawford69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
How can you tell which ghosts died of Covid-19?

they’re coffin

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omegaswepon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear ISIS is adapting Covid-19 into a bio-weapon?!

They're calling it the Quranavirus

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CLUTCH3R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why people complain about COVID 19...

It is breathtaking.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarGameDK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19.

Turns out he just had Saturday Night Fever.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayingMantis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What were Donald Trump’s COVID-19 test results?

Extremely positive. The most positive, in fact. Everybody’s talking about it. It’s yuuuge. Nobody’s seen anything like it. Sleepy joe never would’ve been able to pull this off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taylor5479
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
COVID-19 can cause damage to the brain, heart, and lungs.

Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Trump tested positive for COVID-19

The news went viral.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A bit nervous, but yesterday I volunteered for the COVID-19 vaccine trials.

The vaccine is one that was created in Russia. I received my first shot this morning at 7:00 am, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pot8toes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
The World Health Organization announced dogs cannot contract COVID-19 and indicated they should no longer be quarantined.

WHO let the dogs out.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't ants get COVID-19?

They have little anty bodies!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did Covid-19 ruin your plans for 2020?

If so, then just wait for 2022. Because 2022 is 2020 too.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tripleM98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I predicted Covid-19 3 years ago. Guess I got 2020 vision
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSlippyKnot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I made a song about COVID-19

It's super catchy.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/azndy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Nobody in Antarctica has Covid-19

It's because they're ice-o-lated.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ravenescu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does no one in Antarctica have COVID-19?

Because they are ice-o-lated

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/compsecmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report

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