I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing. He asked, โ€œCan you describe the symptoms?โ€ I replied, "Sure..."

โ€œTheyโ€™re yellow, Homerโ€™s fat, and Marge has blue hair.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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I learnt about the symptoms of sever athletes foot

Itโ€™s quite a peeling

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/lukeurmyson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Therapist: It seems like you have an acute phobia of marriage. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: Canโ€™t say that I do.

Therapist: Exactly. Thatโ€™s the main one.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Jokes about COVID19 symptoms are tasteless

On the other hand, they don't stink.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justryingtokeepup
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Got sick and typed my symptoms into WebMD

Was told I may have connectivity issues

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/instig8or-az
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2020
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I was driving my Toyota when I started noticing some symptoms

Naturally, I went to the doctor, and unfortunately I tested positive for Corolla Virus.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Strawberrical
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Which symptom is shared by all the politicians worldwide?

Constipation. They are always full of shit.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/crazyjarvis
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 11 2020
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John Travolta started experiencing Coronavirus symptoms.

One Sunday morning, he started having a fever, headache and a cold so he decided to go to the hospital to have himself tested. After the test, he talked with the doctor who told him that he tested negative for Coronavirus - it was just Saturday night fever.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Shrewy211
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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Starbucksยฎ has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.

Relax. It's just a "Cough Fee."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
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When do the Coronavirus symptoms kick in ?

Right off the bat

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
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My wife was telling me about a new drug for ADHD. She said, "the side effects are worse than the symptoms!"

I replied, "The Simpson's is a pretty wholesome and entertaining cartoon. If the side effects are worse, then they can't be that bad."

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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HELP WANTED: the Committee of Underlying Nasal Tissue Symptoms needs a new acronym
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CVSSR
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2019
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My therapist told me apathy is a symptom of depression.

Doesnโ€™t seem like a problem to me.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Brainsonastick
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD.

They are telling me I have Gary Busey.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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This time of year, everyone should know the symptoms of the Amish flu.

First you get a little horse, then a little buggy.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/jeaux_seph
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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What's the most suspenseful symptom ever?

A cold. It gives me chills.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/1-STARrating
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Someone find me the symptoms for laziness.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 06 2018
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What are the symptoms of a compulsive liar?

I don't have connection to the internet so I can't check.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TommehBoi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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I went to the doctor because I was having hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms ?", he asked.

I said "Homer's a fat guy and Marge has blue hair"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to the Doctor with hearing problems. He said "Can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homerโ€™s a fat dude, and Marge has blue hair"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 103
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leeuwe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Therapist: You have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Me: I canโ€™t say that I do.

Therapist: Exactly. Thatโ€™s the main one.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Doctor: I think you have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I canโ€™t say that I do.

Doctor: Exactly. Thatโ€™s the main one.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Doctor: I think you have acute marriage phobia. Do you understand the symptoms?

Man: I canโ€™t say I do.

Doctor: Exactly.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 32
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

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