My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
My French friend said “HELP! I’m in pain!”
Now I just need to get him out of that loaf
Who does Mr. Salt go to when he has back pain?
Why was the horse always in pain?
Because his name was Charlie.
If Hermes was the messenger god, the he sure was lucky not to have met the god of pain and old age...
I went to the Med school library to get a book on abdominal pain
Someone had already ripped the appendix out.
Why are there no pain killers in the jungle?
because the parrots eat em all
What do you call an idiot who’s hooked on pain killers?
My wife went into labor today, so I read the front page of /r/DadJokes to her as a distraction from the pain. Unfortunately, she didn’t laugh once, was clearly not amused and I have no idea why...
It must have been the delivery...
Pirate goes to doctor to have groin pain checked. Dr. looks down pirates pants and says, “you have a captain’s steering wheel in your pants.”
Pirate replied, “arghh, it’s driving me nuts”.
My wife screamed in pain during labour so I asked, "What's wrong?". She screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"
"I am sorry, honey." I replied. "What is wrong?"
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I don’t think she’ll be able to pull it off.
I feel pain looking at this
What do you call a cow that doesn’t feel pain?
Having severe throat pain
Must be because Ice-cream a lot.
He was the breadwinner his family is in pain
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Lower back pain is the worst,
it's a real pain in the ass.
I had an appointment with two physicians. They told me, “the more pain you experience, the better you will feel.”
What a strange pair-a-docs.
“I’m about to be in a crap ton of pain.” “Why?”
“I just ate spicy food, son.”
What do you call 60 minutes of pain?
I have a lot of pain
It's a good job I'm French, otherwise I'd have to pay healthcare...
What type of pain killers do they give you after a boobjob?
The sporting goods store downtown was having a big sale on canoe paddles, but traffic and road construction made it real pain to get there...
...yeah, it was quite the ordeal to get the oar deal.
Apparently there is bi-partisan agreement in Congress that medicinal marijuana should be allowed for the purpose of relieving arthritis pain...
In other words, there is joint support for joint support for joint support...
After three weeks of my no-carb diet, I had to see my doctor for digestion pains...
...he told me I was lack toast intolerant.
My favorite toilet paper was discontinued. Nobody prepared me for how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a new favorite.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
What colour is an instruction to cry out in pain?
Such pain
Having stomach ache is a shitty feeling
I once got severe pain in my head from inhaling too much of steam.
Being constipated can be a pain in the butt
An evil proctologist would be a pain in the ass.
My favorite dish is Chocolat au Pain
I'm a glutton for punishment.
Perfect pain only for 9.99 😄😄😄
My son accidentally smashed his foot on the table and as he was hopping around the room screaming in pain, I rushed to the phone, picked it up and asked him, "Do you want me to call..."
I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.
Somebody had ripped the appendix out.
My wife claims that she can remove my chest hair without any pain at all.
I don’t think she will be able to pull it off.
My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!”
“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
My wife claims she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I’m worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without any pain at all.
I’m nervous she won’t be able to pull it off.
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