This one’s a little tender
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
🚨︎ report
These would be tender after a run
πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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A pirate walks into a bar with a ship wheel on his junk. Bar tender asks, "what's with the wheel?"

Pirate replies, "Yar, been driving me nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bri_IsTheMeOne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chef who lovingly prepares and cooks chicken strips?

A tender tender tender.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BehemothSuit
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2021
🚨︎ report
E-flat walks into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says,

β€œI’m sorry. We don’t serve minors.”

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
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A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch

The bar tender says β€œwow how’d you get that peg leg?” The pirate says one day I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean off” next the bartender asks β€œand the hook? How’d you get that?” The pirate responds β€œwell we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean off” the bartender then asks, β€œok so what about the eyepatch??” The pirate responds β€œI was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eye” the bartender is a bit confused and says β€œthat made you lose your eye?” β€œNo” says the pirate β€œit was my first day with the hook!”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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I'm opening a chain of elvis themed steak restaurants

It's for people who love meat tender

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2canVANdam
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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A man walks into a bar

A man walked into a bar with his dog and ordered a few drinks. At the end of the night, when he got the tab, he was astounded at the $50 check. He calls the bar tender over hoping to strike a deal. β€œBartender, I only have 20 bucks I can’t pay for this drink. Let’s make a deal, if my dog can talk then you’ll let me have my drinks for free.” The bartender states, β€œthere is no way that damn dog can talk! Pay me the money!” The man in response states, β€œNo no sir, watch. Spots, what kind of situation are you in when you didn’t study for a test?” The dog, β€œRuff!” The man carries on the bit, β€œSee bar tender my dog can talk! You’re in a rough situation when you don’t study!” The bartender, β€œNow boy don’t play with me now, just pay your tab, that dog can’t talk!” β€œWell here, I’ll prove it to you. Spots, what texture is sandpaper?” β€œRuff!” The bartender reaches hand over the counter, almost touching the man, β€œI won’t ask again sir.” β€œI have one more, just watch. Spots, who is the best baseball player?” β€œRuff!” The bartender, done being fooled with, throws the man in his dog out of the bar, taking all his money. He looks at his dog sadly, β€œsorry spots, I guess he doesn’t believe you can talk...” The dog looks up, confused, β€œmaybe I should’ve said DiMaggio.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DorkeyTree
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
People who take care of chickens are basically....

Chicken tenders

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryahisbored
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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What is a feline bar tenders favorite drink?

Cat-a-tonic

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
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Now are children are older, I get to appreciate my wife, a Fun, Attentive, Tender, Caring Old Woman

Sadly, she just focuses on acronyms though

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleep_adict
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A poet & a thief walk into a bar...

... Bar tender says "Hi Dave".

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you put a chicken strip in a small fridge?

A mini bar tender!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to college after promising to make payments for tuition with tender cuts of meat...

For the next ten years, I'll be paying off my student loins.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Random thoughts into Dad Poem

I dad walked into a bar

He ask for Candy in a Jar

The bar tender looked at him queer

Hey mister . we only have beer here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Benny7770
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Two termites walk into a bar…

One says is the bar tender here?

Edit:Conma comma comma comma comma chameleon. Because the people who like this joke are a Cultured Club

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
🚨︎ report
A horse walks into a bar. The bar tender says "Hey."

The horse says "Sure."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DubiousPotat0
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I owed my friend $20 so I gave a few dollars, some loose change, and a few small pieces of fried chicken

It was all legal tender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
🚨︎ report
You have to be brave to be a bar tender

It's whiskey business

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πŸ‘€︎ u/priestlyemu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
🚨︎ report
The meat in Chattanooga is not very tender, it takes a lot of....

Chew Chew β€˜ing

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm at a bar on Halloween and one of the bar tenders it's wearing a hardhat, coveralls, and goggles...

I ponted at him and shouted "he can't be here, he's a miner!" My friend acctually covered his face in shame.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PolarBear89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2015
🚨︎ report
My aunt makes female deer meat tender by putting it on the floor and saying her prayers.

It's gives her peace of mind to kneed the doe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
The only decisions bar tenders make...

are pour decisions

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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Tenders
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateofthegulf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a goalie so embarrassed that he can’t save anything?

Goal tender.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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If you have a coop of egg laying cluckers...

... does that make you a chicken tender?

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plausibl3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and says: β€œis the BAR TENDER here?”

This probably isn’t the first time you’ve seen this joke

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
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A man walks into a bar looking depressed. Bar tender asks whats wrong? Man says its his 50th wedding anniversary. And that when he was a teenager he got his girl friend pregnant. And to make it worse the father was a Judge and he told me if i did'nt marry his daughter i would go to Jail for 50 year

Today I could be a free man !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/manicmoose13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
🚨︎ report
After the husband refused to stretch his tender loins, his wife started placing his favorite dinner on the roof for him...

But the steaks were too high

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oxymoronix
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?

A chicken tender.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpidersInSpanish
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar

and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-muthamae
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm opening a chain of Elvis themed steak restaurants...

It will be for people who love meat tender.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into the local pub and asks,

"Is the bar *tender* here?"

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and asks β€œIs the bar tender here?”
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a pub and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
πŸ‘︎ 194
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and asks β€œIs the bar tender here?

”

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.
πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bmantis311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and asks β€œIs the bar tender here?

”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and asks β€œIs the bar tender here?

”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
People who own chicken farms are literally chicken tenders.
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken who works at a bar?

A chicken tender

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeverBob
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report
If you take care of chickens, you become the chicken tender
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A1if
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar and asks :

"Is the bar tender here?"

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
So a horse walks into a bar, and the bar tender asks, β€œhey, why the long face?”.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rydawg987
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A snake walks into a bar...

Bar tender goes, how’d you do that?

πŸ‘︎ 192
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fahimifire
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A termite walks into a bar

and asks β€œIs the bar tender here?”

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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