[request] Boat puns?
Decorating a cardboard boat tomorrow (made it today) and thinking of covering it with different puns. The name shall be Admiralable Saboateur if I go this route, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it all together to make it a theme. I also thought of Aquadisiac and "Are you my armama?" but I'm not sure if the crowd would get the armada reference either. Any boat puns are appreciated!
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︎ Aug 24 2017
Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..
You keeled my father. Prepare two die.
*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?
^(What a freaking professional)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.
So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
What do you call a corpse on a boat?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
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︎ Jan 03 2021
If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Old boat docks never dieβ¦
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I bought a boat half price...
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︎ Dec 10 2020
Traveling with my nine year old, and he observed that our gate in Hartford was A6, and our gate in Baltimore is B6. I respond that it's raining so hard we'll take a boat home...
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︎ Dec 20 2020
How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?
State-of-the-Ark technology
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?
I can't remember the name but it's riveting.
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︎ Jan 02 2021
Best game to play on a huge boat?
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︎ Jan 01 2021
It was easy to justify buying a new boat
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their boats?
So when they pull up to port, they can Scandanavian
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is theyβre working on a self driving boat as well.
Theyβre going to call it the iAye
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Theres a leek on the boat!
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.
He was sailing on the seven Cβs
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︎ Dec 09 2020
Leek in the boat
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Did you hear about the guy who went into the Everglades, found this huge sea-cow thing and beat it to death with the oar of his boat?
They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?
Because if they fell forwards, theyβd still be in the boat!
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︎ Nov 20 2020
The boat is sick
We gotta take it to the dock.
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︎ Nov 18 2020
What did the boat say to the pier?
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldnβt a fjord a new one.
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︎ Sep 12 2020
My 8yo daughter made me proud and came up with this: I don't get why pirates go around on boats...
They should be in the arrrrmy
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︎ Nov 30 2020
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
My friend told me about his new boat. Apparently, it has a canopy.
I said "Well, better than a can o' poo."
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︎ Oct 30 2020
What is the most popular boat in the southern US?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Her: whatever floats your boat
Me: Water works the best!
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︎ Nov 21 2020
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
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︎ Oct 15 2020
The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.
Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I was going to row across the Atlantic in a little boat...
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Why did the boat know it had a leak?
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"
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︎ Oct 31 2020
What kind of boat only hauls women's underwear?
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︎ Sep 18 2020
Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.
It was quite a powerful dictator ship.
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︎ Sep 30 2020
What do you say to a police officer when he gets on your boat?
Police put on your life vest!
(This is a joke I made up at the age of 6 while on a boat!)
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︎ Oct 07 2020
I used to be a fan of boats...
But that ship has sailed.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Things are a-boat to get interesting.
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︎ Aug 05 2020
What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?
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︎ Jul 26 2020
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...
Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.
I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...
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︎ Sep 03 2020
My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory
I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's
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︎ Jul 22 2020
Why did the viking buy an old boat ?
He couldn't a fjord a new one
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︎ Sep 15 2020
What do you do with a sick boat?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Where does a boat go when itβs sick?
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︎ Jul 07 2020
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