[request] Boat puns?

Decorating a cardboard boat tomorrow (made it today) and thinking of covering it with different puns. The name shall be Admiralable Saboateur if I go this route, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it all together to make it a theme. I also thought of Aquadisiac and "Are you my armama?" but I'm not sure if the crowd would get the armada reference either. Any boat puns are appreciated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LivingSecrets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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Leek in the boat
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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I used to be a fan of boats...

But that ship has sailed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
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Things are a-boat to get interesting.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramachetan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
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There are three guys on a boat, and they have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with – what do they do?

They throw one cigarette overboard, and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhisum_dhisum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
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What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?

A dictatorship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegregslife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
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My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory

I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnar_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
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Where does a boat go when it’s sick?

The dock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fonz136
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
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What happened when the red boat crashed into the blue boat?

The crews were marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InfiPlayer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes.....

Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09
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What did George Washington say to his men before they stepped into the boat?

Men, step in the boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leanne_Cock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
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What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?

Quatro sinko

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
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Due to the state of the pandemic I decided to move to my house boat for a while

I'm boating absentee

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sycliantableigit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
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One of my friends was cooking in a wok on the back of a boat.

He was making a stern fry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stickysteve44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
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Last summer, I worked on a party boat for the assistants to the staff of Terry Crews

I was on the Crews' crew's crew cruise crew.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exmachinalibertas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20
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How do you make any boat a hat?

You flip it over and it becomes capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unic0rnism
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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Why did the Norwegian boats have barcodes on the side?

When they dock, they can scan-di-navian...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
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Most brands of bottled beer is the same as having sex on a boat

Fucking close to water

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
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3 men were in a boat. There were 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.

So they threw one into the sea and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 384
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ May 02
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What does a boat do when it’s sick?

It goes to the dock

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Narwhal3515
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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Why do boats never go to sleep after they leave the dock?

Because they leave a wake.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Logun30
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
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I had to cancel a boat tour of a Norway cliff-wall sea inlet.

I couldn't afjord it.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DreadMoor
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
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How many fish can you fit on a boat?

A boatload!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyDevito_IsBae
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
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What would you name your boat?

If I had a boat I'd name it Dylan, because of all the drug Dylan I'd have to do to afford it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brohymn1416
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
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Send me a message if you want to build a boat...

I Noah guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
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What do you call a boat at the bottom of the ocean that shivers?

A nervous wreck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fl_ured
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
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What do you use to call for help while on a boat?

A sail phone

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
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A shark tried eating a boat but he didn’t like it

Didn’t have enough vitamin sea

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
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Why do Scuba Divers fall backwards off a boat.....

... cause if they fell forwards they end up on the deck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZimbaZumba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
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Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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What do you call a boat-loving Italian?

A Roman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
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They want to open a floating cinema in Paris with drive-in boats.

I just think that's in Seine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10
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Why do scuba divers fall backward out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward they’d still be in the boat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueceOfAce
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...

It was capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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I am trading in my sailboat for a motor boat.

I need to go on a power trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khendron
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
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I took my boat in to the shop and they told me i need a new carburetor.

I replied, "wouldn't that be a boatburetor?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelMac5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
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I bought a transparent boat, but it sank when I used it.

It was sea-through.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
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When my son asked me which of two boat paddles he should use, I said:

"Either oar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Some people like in Toad in the Hole, but I like my eggs a toast boat.

Unfortunately, it can only be bought in a bay kery.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
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My son asked me to tell him a boat joke. I said, "I can't think of any, but...."

"Canoe?"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Before surgery the anesthetist asked if I wanted to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mirratrix
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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How a-boat that!
πŸ‘︎ 759
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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My local sports store had an overstock of boat paddles, so they decided to have a sale.

It was quite an ordeal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out. Who was left?

Repeat.

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out. Who was left?

Repeat.

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete fell out. Who was left?

Repeat.

Etc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2inHard
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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3 guys on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with.

So they throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doophead461
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...

Dictatorship.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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How do you steer a boat in Amsterdam?

With a Dutch rudder

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajac91
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
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I’ve started making small boats in my attic...

Sails are through the roof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mpdehnel
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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Pete and Repete sat in a boat. Pete fell out. Who's left?

Repeat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thadtheking
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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Why are all-weld aluminum boats so boring?

They have never done anything riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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"Dad, why do scuba divers roll backward off boats?"

"Because if they rolled forward, they'd still be in the boat."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water when they’re on a boat?

Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasperkjohnson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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How does a flower get a boat across the lake?

It rose.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwfabrication
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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I saw a boat out on a saltwater lake!

It was saline

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xakik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".

Looks like somebody rocked your house

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeablies1
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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I told my wife I have a crush on BeyoncΓ©. She said: whatever floats your boat...

I told her: no, that’s buoyancy.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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When a guy I know meets people, he says he likes to treat them to shark fishing on his boat...

He says he's gotten a lot of chums that way.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?

In Google Docs.

πŸ‘︎ 183
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFabulousXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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Why is the boat influenced by pears?
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntn_98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...

It was good to see dad's berth place.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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What do you call when a boat is forced to do stuff by other boats?

Pier Pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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A boat builder was showing his son one of his forests

he turned to him and said "son, one day this will all be oars."

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtwilson32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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That's not the bow of the boat

He said sternly

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat?

If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildman1286
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes

Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Numbnipples4u
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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Four men are stranded with nothing but cigarettes on a boat with no way to light them

So they throw one cigarette off board, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalalPork97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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TIFU. So, I'm in the navy, and when we left for deployment I got on the wrong boat.

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 114
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemorianism
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
What's a snail on a boat?

A snailor

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolas_101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJayeBird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
What floats Jay-Z's boat?

BuoyancΓ©.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?

If they fell off forwards, they’d just land in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iJobee
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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What song does the Rick and Morty creator listen to while on a boat?

Roiland on the River

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nooknc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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Whatever floats your boat....

The indecisive rower couldn't choose either oar...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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What do you call a German U-boat stationed in Crete.

Crete's-marine

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finnicus1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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Where do boats carrying wood go?

The arbor.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigkodack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What do you get if you give a boat drugs?

A speedboat

[Disclaimer]: I don’t encourage the use of drugs

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miloklaas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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What do you call a twitching boat at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Fallen-Turtle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Yesterday I bought two boats at an amazing price. Heavily discounted because they didn't have motors.

They were on sail.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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I didn't believe my friend when he said he could make a boat out of caviar...

But then I saw him roe-ing it on the lake.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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What's one vegetable you should NEVER bring on a boat?

LEEKS.

(my 10yo told me this - he said he thought it up himself.)

πŸ‘︎ 887
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItWasInBobcageon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?

So that it wooden sink.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirdle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
I was thinking about buying a luxury boat

But it costs a yacht more than I thought

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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What do you call a snail on a boat

A snailer.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yacoubtheprince
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Gravy boat
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellotap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
spotted this boat in Bellingham
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noggin__noodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do Norwegian boats have a barcode on the side

So they can Scan-di-navian

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatboyonadiet4lyf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.

So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but with nothing to light them on.

So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat is a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matsuo_Momiji
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
3 Guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with.

So they decide to throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report

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