[request] Boat puns?

Decorating a cardboard boat tomorrow (made it today) and thinking of covering it with different puns. The name shall be Admiralable Saboateur if I go this route, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it all together to make it a theme. I also thought of Aquadisiac and "Are you my armama?" but I'm not sure if the crowd would get the armada reference either. Any boat puns are appreciated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LivingSecrets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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Leek in the boat
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
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3 men were in a boat. There were 4 cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.

So they threw one into the sea and the whole boat became a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 389
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ May 02
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My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...

It was capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Why do scuba divers fall backward out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward they’d still be in the boat!

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DueceOfAce
πŸ“…︎ May 27
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When my son asked me which of two boat paddles he should use, I said:

"Either oar."

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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Before my surgery, the anesthesiologist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle...

It was an ether/oar situation...

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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My son asked me to tell him a boat joke. I said, "I can't think of any, but...."

"Canoe?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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My local sports store had an overstock of boat paddles, so they decided to have a sale.

It was quite an ordeal.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
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My college friend got accepted to a social group by having to float out in the bay to mark a channel for their boats....

He was a frat buoy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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Before surgery the anesthetist asked if I wanted to be knocked out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mirratrix
πŸ“…︎ May 10
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3 guys on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with.

So they throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doophead461
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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Cut the potatoes into penis shapes and fill your boat with them. Now you are the captain of a ...

Dictatorship.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 23
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I’ve started making small boats in my attic...

Sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mpdehnel
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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Pete and Repete sat in a boat. Pete fell out. Who's left?

Repeat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thadtheking
πŸ“…︎ May 25
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"Dad, why do scuba divers roll backward off boats?"

"Because if they rolled forward, they'd still be in the boat."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 17
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I saw a boat out on a saltwater lake!

It was saline

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xakik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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Why are all-weld aluminum boats so boring?

They have never done anything riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/observer2017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
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How a-boat that!
πŸ‘︎ 765
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water when they’re on a boat?

Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jasperkjohnson
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
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How does a flower get a boat across the lake?

It rose.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iwfabrication
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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Walked by a house with a broken window and a sign in the window saying "don't rock the boat".

Looks like somebody rocked your house

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeablies1
πŸ“…︎ May 05
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When a guy I know meets people, he says he likes to treat them to shark fishing on his boat...

He says he's gotten a lot of chums that way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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I told my wife I have a crush on BeyoncΓ©. She said: whatever floats your boat...

I told her: no, that’s buoyancy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bringojackprot
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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When dad took the family to Florida, we finally got to see the place his boat was docked as a child...

It was good to see dad's berth place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
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Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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If Noah were to build a boat today, would it be steel?

Held together with ark welding.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
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A boat builder was showing his son one of his forests

he turned to him and said "son, one day this will all be oars."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtwilson32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?

In Google Docs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrFabulousXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
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What do you call when a boat is forced to do stuff by other boats?

Pier Pressure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
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Why is the boat influenced by pears?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntn_98
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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That's not the bow of the boat

He said sternly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat?

If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wildman1286
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
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Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes

Three guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Numbnipples4u
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
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What's a snail on a boat?

A snailor

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikolas_101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Imagine a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia... It's a dictatorship
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AJayeBird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
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What floats Jay-Z's boat?

BuoyancΓ©.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
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Four men are stranded with nothing but cigarettes on a boat with no way to light them

So they throw one cigarette off board, and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HalalPork97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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TIFU. So, I'm in the navy, and when we left for deployment I got on the wrong boat.

Sorry, wrong sub.

πŸ‘︎ 116
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemorianism
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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What song does the Rick and Morty creator listen to while on a boat?

Roiland on the River

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nooknc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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What do you call a German U-boat stationed in Crete.

Crete's-marine

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/finnicus1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23
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Where do boats carrying wood go?

The arbor.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigkodack
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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Whatever floats your boat....

The indecisive rower couldn't choose either oar...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10
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What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
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What do you get if you give a boat drugs?

A speedboat

[Disclaimer]: I don’t encourage the use of drugs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miloklaas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
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What do you call a twitching boat at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A-Fallen-Turtle
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?

So that it wooden sink.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirdle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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Yesterday I bought two boats at an amazing price. Heavily discounted because they didn't have motors.

They were on sail.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimer0
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
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I didn't believe my friend when he said he could make a boat out of caviar...

But then I saw him roe-ing it on the lake.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
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I was thinking about buying a luxury boat

But it costs a yacht more than I thought

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
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What do you call a snail on a boat

A snailer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yacoubtheprince
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?

If they fell off forwards, they’d just land in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iJobee
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
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Gravy boat
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sellotap
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Why do Norwegian boats have a barcode on the side

So they can Scan-di-navian

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fatboyonadiet4lyf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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What do you name a boat that can self-operate?

A.I. Captain

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
spotted this boat in Bellingham
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noggin__noodle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Where does a sick boat go ?

to the dock

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fakipo2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2019
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What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?

bass boat or a bass boat

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
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What's one vegetable you should NEVER bring on a boat?

LEEKS.

(my 10yo told me this - he said he thought it up himself.)

πŸ‘︎ 885
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItWasInBobcageon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Pete and Repete are in a boat. Pete falls out, who’s left.

Repete

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imhere4yah
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Where do boats go when they feel sick?

To the dock.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/juhaodbrokule
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat

especially when it's on cruise control

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slackbladerered
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle

It was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Supasaucey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Whatever floats your boat
πŸ‘︎ 359
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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-puntificate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.

Because it is capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 851
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...

I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.

I guess I found my self in a real β€œpara-docks”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
There are 6 men on a boat with a pack of cigarettes, but nothing to light it with. So, they threw one cigarette overboard, and the boat became a cigarette lighter.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baba_Yaga9494
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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My jackass husband just hit me with this one. Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?

You stop pretending.

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thehornyghost
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
🚨︎ report
There are 4 people on a boat with 5 cigarettes and no lighter.

They throw one cigarette out and boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.

See my boat listing in the paper.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why's a boat called a 'boat' and not a 'sea-saw'?
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BomBoris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my dad about it.

He said there was a great sail

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacobob3831
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?

He’s going to be judged by a jury of his piers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boilerup4444
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
It was a sunny day out on the lake. I'd forgotten my cap. Luckily, I had a flyer from the local department store. I folded it into a hat with a shade for my eyes, thus making it easier to guide the boat without crashing it.

It made a good ad visor.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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I can’t stand watching a dragon boat competetion...

... it is such a rowed race!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dasherjim
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeaboy123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cats decide to have a boat race

One is called "one two three", the other is called "un deux trois". Who won?

"One two three" won because "un deux trois" cat sank

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pablopharm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I started a boat-building business in my attic ...

Now sails are going through the roof

Source: New York Times Crossword Puzzle, Tuesday Sept 24, 2019, 6 Down

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/some_lerker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?

It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ashamedmillennial
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?

Because they're always capsaicin!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Restless__Dreamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes and nothing to light them with.

So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/extremeavYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
3 guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but with nothing to light them on.

So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat is a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Matsuo_Momiji
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
3 Guys are on a boat with 4 cigarettes but nothing to light them with.

So they decide to throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
If the internet had a boat, where would they park it?

In google docs

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat into the water?

Because if they fell forward, they would still be in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?

Because if they fell forward they would still be in the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/artvandelay440
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle

it was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Single_Needles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation

πŸ‘︎ 853
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do sick boats go to

The Dock

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/snorlaxfan1235
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.

Because it is capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 239
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Before my surgery, my anesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Two guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes but nothing to light them with....

They throw one overboard now the boat is a cigarette lighter

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report

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