[request] Boat puns?

Decorating a cardboard boat tomorrow (made it today) and thinking of covering it with different puns. The name shall be Admiralable Saboateur if I go this route, but I'm not sure how to incorporate it all together to make it a theme. I also thought of Aquadisiac and "Are you my armama?" but I'm not sure if the crowd would get the armada reference either. Any boat puns are appreciated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LivingSecrets
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..

You keeled my father. Prepare two die.

*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?

^(What a freaking professional)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/calvinweight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter.

So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What do you call a corpse on a boat?

Dead weight!

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
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I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.

Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.

Because it capsized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VegetarianReaper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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Old boat docks never die…

They just disa-pier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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I bought a boat half price...

It was on sail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Traveling with my nine year old, and he observed that our gate in Hartford was A6, and our gate in Baltimore is B6. I respond that it's raining so hard we'll take a boat home...

...then we'll be C6.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunstoned1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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How did Noah fit 2 of every animal in a single boat ?

State-of-the-Ark technology

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amart1985
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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Have you seen the movie about production methods of boats, planes, and bridges in the 20th century?

I can't remember the name but it's riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_the_Duck
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
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Best game to play on a huge boat?

Yacht-zee

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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It was easy to justify buying a new boat

There was a big sail.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PicaRuler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their boats?

So when they pull up to port, they can Scandanavian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gabz09
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Apple just announced their new electric vehicle, the iCar, coming in 2024. Rumor is they’re working on a self driving boat as well.

They’re going to call it the iAye

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RockhardManstrong
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Theres a leek on the boat!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathyDre
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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I saw a drunk dude riding in a boat on the chests of four women with average bust size, one of whom had a single mastectomy.

He was sailing on the seven C’s

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πŸ‘€︎ u/serialcompliment
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Leek in the boat
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Did you hear about the guy who went into the Everglades, found this huge sea-cow thing and beat it to death with the oar of his boat?

They're prosecuting him for crimes against a manatee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitz_cuniculus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat?

Because if they fell forwards, they’d still be in the boat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/halokost
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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The boat is sick

We gotta take it to the dock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cosmotheseptic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
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Why did the Viking buy an old boat?

He couldn’t a fjord a new one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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My 8yo daughter made me proud and came up with this: I don't get why pirates go around on boats...

They should be in the arrrrmy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Comanch3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My friend told me about his new boat. Apparently, it has a canopy.

I said "Well, better than a can o' poo."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuicidalNomad
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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What is the most popular boat in the southern US?

A yawl.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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Her: whatever floats your boat

Me: Water works the best!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/starwars93
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.

I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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A moored boat called Maud. imgur.com/GA8hgZy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boobamajugs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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The guy who mans the fishing rods on my boat tried to convince me to vote for a candidate. I fired him.

Pole workers aren't allowed to do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I was going to row across the Atlantic in a little boat...

But I bottled it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/trendfoll
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Just finished resding a great book called "Arguement On The Narrow Boat"

By R.G.Bargee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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What kind of boat only hauls women's underwear?

A pantiliner!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CognitiveNerd1701
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were on a boat.

It was quite a powerful dictator ship.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mush_Tilly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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What do you say to a police officer when he gets on your boat?

Police put on your life vest!

(This is a joke I made up at the age of 6 while on a boat!)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoLoMoXI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I used to be a fan of boats...

But that ship has sailed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OhTheComedy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What do you do with a sick boat?

Take it to the doc.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Things are a-boat to get interesting.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramachetan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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Where does a boat go when it’s sick?

The dock!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fonz136
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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What do you call a boat made of potatoes shaped like male genitalia?

A dictatorship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thegregslife
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. Somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me...

Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.

I was gone only a minute and when I came out, I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a slight limp...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My friend who worked at an orange soda factory said they had small boats in thier factory

I heard they go sailing on the hi-c's

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gnar_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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Why did the viking buy an old boat ?

He couldn't a fjord a new one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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