Three men were onboard a ship playing dice on deck when the oldest man angrily jumped off the front of the boat. The younger man said..

You keeled my father. Prepare two die.

*I sent this to my brother and he replies: Was his name Inyougo?

^(What a freaking professional)

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/calvinweight
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
The ship is from Japan
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7keletor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDisneyDork
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?

It caused a title wave!

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/No_Gray_Area
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway have barcodes on their ships?

So they can just Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clangin813
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.

Crew: I I Caprain.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently watched a documentary on how ships are made

It was Riveting

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/st_jimmy_02
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the shark eat the ship?

...It wanted captain crunch for breakfast.

My 12 year old daughter hit me with this one this morning.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fyrefrog25
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What used to be a nazi dictator ship other than germany?

The Bismarck

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rigonicoxa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
When I play battleship I like to arrange my ships in the shape of states...

Michigan

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RontaukMonster
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
After eating da ship, da sea monster said, Me can’t believe Me ate da hull fing.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Norway just made the decision to put QR codes on the side of all its war ships.

Now they can Scandinavian!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkornDoA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is their ship called 3.14?

Because they are Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Winguin_rtl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
After eating the ship, the sea monster said,

I can’t believe I ate the hull thing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship wheel on his junk. Bar tender asks, "what's with the wheel?"

Pirate replies, "Yar, been driving me nuts."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bri_IsTheMeOne
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?

LAND HOE!!!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SassyTurtlebat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Man: I’m so sorry I’m late for my ship cleaning job. What are my responsibilities?

Boss: You mist the boat.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Norwegian barcodes they are putting on ships

They put them there so they can scanthenavyin

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate wanted to celebrate his captain’s birthday, so he bought a large quantity of balloons while ashore. Back on the ship, he walked over to hand the balloons to the captain, but he tripped and most of them floated away. The captain said, β€œArrr! That was a costly mistake...”

β€œWe lost a lot of doubloons.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unfussed
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the ship’s cat use instead of a litter box?

The poop deck.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
How does an intellectual pirate board a ship?

With a grappling book

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisMentink
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a ship named 3.14

It’ll be full of pi-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I started watching a really good show about how wooden ships are made

It’s riveting

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuteBearLegs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
How did one duck bring down an entire ship?

It released the Quacken.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norway Navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/artofmuziq88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway and Sweden’s navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So the can scandinavian

Can’t take credit for this one. A client of mine told me this.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeutscheTaters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Norway have bar codes on the sides of their military ships?

It's so when they all come to port they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turb0charg3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.

I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Swedish war ships have barcodes painted in the side?

So when they come in they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thee-lorax-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the giant octopus say to the pirate ship?

What’s Kraken!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A ship carrying purple paint ran into a ship carrying brown paint.

The survivors were marooned.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBelpit68
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the violent crash between the red ship and the blue ship?

All the sailors were marooned!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Where was the captain sent after he hit another ship?

anchor management

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ocean_Beast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do pirate ships go so fast?

Because they’re hauling booty

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreedomDirty5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What Did The Bavarian Say To His Crew When The Ship Had A Leak?

All Hans On Deck!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Podomus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the pirate get in his ship and leave immediately when he got a phone call?

Because booty calls

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/actualcovfefebean
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A ship carrying a a cargo of yoyo's has sunk.

27 times.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is that ship called 3.14?

Because it’s filled with Ο€-rates.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together.

Riveting

πŸ‘︎ 667
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed ship?

A woe-boat

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zeroforcemembers
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?

So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian

πŸ‘︎ 306
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clairem2113
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
A Navy captain got in trouble for ordering an anchor much too large for his ship

Weigh more than needed

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a movie about how ships are put together!

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheIndrajitKar
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it called a rocket ship and not a boat?

Because if it was a boat you wouldn't rock it.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does Sweden have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

It’s so when they enter the port, they can Scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the can of tomato paste voted off the ship?

Because ketchup sus.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/choosegoos
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate with a ship’s wheel in his pants walks into a bar. The bartender can’t help but ask about it.

The pirate replies, β€œArrgh, it’s driving me nuts!”

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sauron3579
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Swedish ships have barcodes?

So they can scandinavian.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report

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