It's really hard to sail without much wind
Even though everyone says it's a breeze.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 24 2021
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
π︎ 49
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︎ Jan 03 2021
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.
But eventually I came around.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet?
π︎ 29
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︎ Dec 18 2020
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 05 2020
TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed.
They couldnβt get their Bering Strait.
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 06 2020
I know a lady called Sue who makes sails.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 01 2020
Some years after the flood, Noah wanted to sail again
Unfortunately, he didn't remember where he arked.
π︎ 43
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Tech tip: Itβs dangerous to download βCome Sail Awayβ or βSatisfactionβ on ITunes. βTurn, Turn, Turnβ is perfectly fine however.
Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Apr 05 2018
Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
π︎ 89
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︎ Aug 03 2019
Hopefully I can still sail on it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 07 2019
What do you call a pirate who set sail over 12 hours ago?
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 05 2019
All of these are for sail
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 20 2017
I won't loose the sails captain!
π︎ 15
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︎ Jul 10 2018
My wife got so teary-eyed you can probably sail a boat in her eyelids
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 27 2018
When did the captain want to set sail?
schooner rather than freighter
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 03 2017
Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub
Iβm looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.
Thank you in advance for any ideas
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 20 2021
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 15 2021
I've started a boat building business in my attic...
...sails are going through the roof.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ May 13 2021
No more Suez Canal jokes!
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
π︎ 7k
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︎ Mar 18 2021
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 28 2020
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.
It's an exclusive member ship.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 13 2021
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
π︎ 11k
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︎ Jan 14 2021
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 18 2020
A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch
The bar tender says βwow howβd you get that peg leg?β The pirate says one day I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean offβ next the bartender asks βand the hook? Howβd you get that?β The pirate responds βwell we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean offβ the bartender then asks, βok so what about the eyepatch??β The pirate responds βI was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eyeβ the bartender is a bit confused and says βthat made you lose your eye?β βNoβ says the pirate βit was my first day with the hook!β
π︎ 63
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︎ Jun 01 2021
Where do sopranos go sailing?
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
My best friend quit sailing recently
Not long after, he took up drowning
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 05 2020
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: βIsnβt that a great looking ship?β Mike replied:
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic
Sails should go through the roof
π︎ 195
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I just bought a beautiful boat for half price.
π︎ 14
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︎ Apr 07 2021
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
π︎ 21
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︎ Oct 20 2019
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with metaphors...
Came straight out of the blue. Took the wind right out of my sails.
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 07 2021
I tried to take my dog sailing, but he wouldn't go.
As it turns out, my dog has his own barque.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 22 2020
need a punny name for a sailing ship, winter/ice related
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 19 2018
Why did the opera singer go sailing?
They wanted to hit the high Cs.
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 03 2019
My grandfather used to wake up very early every morning to go sailing.
When I asked him why so early, he replied with "the schooner, the better!"
π︎ 28
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︎ Jul 10 2019
My ship was sailing North but then it suddenly veered West and hit another ship...
It was an occident, I swear!
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 29 2019
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull...
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 08 2019
Tech tip: Itβs dangerous to download βCome Sail Awayβ or βSatisfactionβ. Itβs perfectly safe to download βTurn, Turn, Turnβ
Styx and Stones may break your phones, but Byrds will never hurt you.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
I started a ship building business inside my house
Sails are through the roof
π︎ 36
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︎ Jun 06 2021
Itβs too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
π︎ 158
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
No more Suez Canal jokes.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 01 2021
Can I still make a Suez Canal joke?
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 05 2021
I bought a boat half price...
π︎ 42
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
I've started a boating business from my attic....
The sails are going through the roof.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Feb 04 2021
I've started a boating business from my attic.
The sails are going through the roof.
π︎ 255
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
I started a boating business in my attic..
Sails are through the roof.
π︎ 55
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
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