It's really hard to sail without much wind
Even though everyone says it's a breeze.
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.
Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.
That sail has shipped.
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.
But eventually I came around.
What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet?
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because
that was an ice-olated incident.
TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed.
They couldn’t get their Bering Strait.
I know a lady called Sue who makes sails.
Some years after the flood, Noah wanted to sail again
Unfortunately, he didn't remember where he arked.
Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction” on ITunes. “Turn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly fine however.
Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you.
Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
Hopefully I can still sail on it.
What do you call a pirate who set sail over 12 hours ago?
All of these are for sail
I won't loose the sails captain!
My wife got so teary-eyed you can probably sail a boat in her eyelids
When did the captain want to set sail?
schooner rather than freighter
Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub
I’m looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.
Thank you in advance for any ideas
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year
I've started a boat building business in my attic...
...sails are going through the roof.
No more Suez Canal jokes!
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.
It's an exclusive member ship.
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."
The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:
"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"
A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch
The bar tender says “wow how’d you get that peg leg?” The pirate says one day I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean off” next the bartender asks “and the hook? How’d you get that?” The pirate responds “well we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean off” the bartender then asks, “ok so what about the eyepatch??” The pirate responds “I was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eye” the bartender is a bit confused and says “that made you lose your eye?” “No” says the pirate “it was my first day with the hook!”
Where do sopranos go sailing?
My best friend quit sailing recently
Not long after, he took up drowning
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: “Isn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:
I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic
Sails should go through the roof
I just bought a beautiful boat for half price.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with metaphors...
Came straight out of the blue. Took the wind right out of my sails.
I tried to take my dog sailing, but he wouldn't go.
As it turns out, my dog has his own barque.
need a punny name for a sailing ship, winter/ice related
Why did the opera singer go sailing?
They wanted to hit the high Cs.
My grandfather used to wake up very early every morning to go sailing.
When I asked him why so early, he replied with "the schooner, the better!"
My ship was sailing North but then it suddenly veered West and hit another ship...
It was an occident, I swear!
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull...
It's just a berth mark, he swears.
Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download “Come Sail Away” or “Satisfaction”. It’s perfectly safe to download “Turn, Turn, Turn”
Styx and Stones may break your phones, but Byrds will never hurt you.
I started a ship building business inside my house
Sails are through the roof
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now
No more Suez Canal jokes.
Can I still make a Suez Canal joke?
I bought a boat half price...
I've started a boating business from my attic....
The sails are going through the roof.
I've started a boating business from my attic.
The sails are going through the roof.
I started a boating business in my attic..
Sails are through the roof.