It's really hard to sail without much wind

Even though everyone says it's a breeze.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smithsea2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
I bought a sail for my boat on Amazon the other day.

Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late.

That sail has shipped.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.

But eventually I came around.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jradio610
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
What vessels sail the waters of the Chinese internet?

Censorships.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brixenaru
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
The Titanic II is a modern-day replica of the RMS Titanic and is scheduled to set sail in 2022. It's creators do not believe it will relive the tragedy of it's predecessor because

that was an ice-olated incident.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
TIL: A thousand years ago, a group of Russian explorers tried to sail into Alaska, but failed.

They couldn’t get their Bering Strait.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I know a lady called Sue who makes sails.

Genoa ?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leprechaun_disco
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Some years after the flood, Noah wanted to sail again

Unfortunately, he didn't remember where he arked.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ewormPL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download β€œCome Sail Away” or β€œSatisfaction” on ITunes. β€œTurn, Turn, Turn” is perfectly fine however.

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but the Byrds will never hurt you.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Ropes were invented by boat companies to raise sails
πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jakeaboy123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Hopefully I can still sail on it.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LiamGTodMoc
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pirate who set sail over 12 hours ago?

Long Gone Silver

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AScotHasNoName
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
All of these are for sail
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevincredible22
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
🚨︎ report
I won't loose the sails captain!

I will knot!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arklaw
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife got so teary-eyed you can probably sail a boat in her eyelids

Quite the crises

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
When did the captain want to set sail?

schooner rather than freighter

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotbuttbiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
🚨︎ report
Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub

I’m looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.

Thank you in advance for any ideas

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kentuckyderby001
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
The radio host sailed to the same part of the ocean each year

It was his frequent sea

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOffbeatTurtle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
I've started a boat building business in my attic...

...sails are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xholdsteadyx
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
No more Suez Canal jokes!

That ship has sailed.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?

He said "There was a sail."

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_PoodlePants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women

If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kantas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Sailing aboard the new cruise liner SS Penis is by invitation only.

It's an exclusive member ship.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:

C

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/baltinerdist
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14
🚨︎ report
While sailing across the ocean, the night watchman saw a dark shape in the distance. He called the First Mate, who also couldn't tell what it was. So he called the Captain. "I can't tell either," he said. "Fetch me an obstetrician."

The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:

"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesmartass1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A pirate walks in a bar with a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch

The bar tender says β€œwow how’d you get that peg leg?” The pirate says one day I was out sailing and a shark jumped aboard and tore it clean off” next the bartender asks β€œand the hook? How’d you get that?” The pirate responds β€œwell we were out whaling and one leapt out of the water and bit my hand clean off” the bartender then asks, β€œok so what about the eyepatch??” The pirate responds β€œI was out walking on the deck of my ship when I looked up and a seagull shit right in my eye” the bartender is a bit confused and says β€œthat made you lose your eye?” β€œNo” says the pirate β€œit was my first day with the hook!”

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
Where do sopranos go sailing?

The high C’s

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Burger_k1ng
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My best friend quit sailing recently

Not long after, he took up drowning

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
While waiting in the lobby of a Chinese restaurant, Don was admiring a painting on the wall of a Chinese sailing vessel and said to his friend Mike: β€œIsn’t that a great looking ship?” Mike replied:

β€œIt’s junk”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bardbelle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start a yacht building business in my attic

Sails should go through the roof

πŸ‘︎ 195
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joelthomastr
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
I just bought a beautiful boat for half price.

It was on sail.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
🚨︎ report
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...

I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with metaphors...

Came straight out of the blue. Took the wind right out of my sails.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
I tried to take my dog sailing, but he wouldn't go.

As it turns out, my dog has his own barque.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report
need a punny name for a sailing ship, winter/ice related
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MissingFrames
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the opera singer go sailing?

They wanted to hit the high Cs.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather used to wake up very early every morning to go sailing.

When I asked him why so early, he replied with "the schooner, the better!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armlesshobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My ship was sailing North but then it suddenly veered West and hit another ship...

It was an occident, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?

The mast, because it has the pole-position.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyK1w1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You can say plain sailing, but you can't say boat flying.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CMDRShamx
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend sailed his yacht into the wharf very rapidly, crashing into the dock and causing a dent in the hull...

It's just a berth mark, he swears.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Tech tip: It’s dangerous to download β€œCome Sail Away” or β€œSatisfaction”. It’s perfectly safe to download β€œTurn, Turn, Turn”

Styx and Stones may break your phones, but Byrds will never hurt you.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I started a ship building business inside my house

Sails are through the roof

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dnice_556
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
It’s too late to make Suez Canal jokes now

That ship has sailed

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TylerTechNZ
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
No more Suez Canal jokes.

That ship has sailed.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Can I still make a Suez Canal joke?

Or has that ship sailed?

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jxf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
I bought a boat half price...

It was on sail.

πŸ‘︎ 42
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
I've started a boating business from my attic....

The sails are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
I've started a boating business from my attic.

The sails are going through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I started a boating business in my attic..

Sails are through the roof.

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report

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