The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/S0n0fRuss
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sailor not buy the dvd?

Because it was pirated.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
There’s a sailor who is always finding fool’s gold

We call him the iron pirate.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the sailor play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankXCIV
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sailor who you don’t like?

A w-anchor.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic

He was a subdued sub dude.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.

He was in the wrong craft.

πŸ‘︎ 253
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
3.14% of sailors.....

Those are Pi Rates

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BulletB1LL
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A sailor wrote a book about how to win a woman’s heart

It’s called β€œThe Art of Seaduction”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens if you throw a Finnish sailor overboard?

Helsinki

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do sailors find it so difficult to learn the alphabet?

Because they often get lost at "C"!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why aren't sailors scared of COVID-19?

They're used to the perils of disease.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrrainandthunder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the American sailor say when he was brought on board the British ship?

I'm impressed!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffvanlaethem
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Freddie Sailor Mercury
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
🚨︎ report
The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...

It was all Hans on deck!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.

I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."

I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?

The captain was standing on the deck.

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CoolRedman1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why don’t sailors like buying new hats?

They are afraid of cap sizing.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gntlmnTrey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?

So that it wooden sink.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nirdle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Falling-down drunk sailors...

... are absolutely ship-faced!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the sailor go after work?

The Navigation Bar

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do sailors eat shellsfish when rain is forecasted?

Its the clam before the storm

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JormaR69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?

Helsinki.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyStar1991
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?

Aft-ermarket parts!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/42undead2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
When is a sailor not a sailor?

When he's aboard

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tankerman05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens to sailors put on trial?

They are judged by a jury of their piers.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do late sailors come from?

Missedhisshippi

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/N64GC
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Only 3.14% of sailors arrrr Ο€rates
πŸ‘︎ 578
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Sailor Loom
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
doctor 1: this sailor broke his nose from crashing onto land.

doctor 1: Luckily they're just mariner injuries.

doctor 2: are you shore? they seem pretty bad to me.

doctor 1: nonsense, you can seafarer self.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liltrigger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you tickle a sailor?

Because they're nautical-ish

πŸ‘︎ 291
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TREXADRON
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Shanghaied sailor say to the bosun?

Well, I'm impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EngineersAnon
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
People only trust high ranking navy sailors. for instance there's Captain Morgan rum, Captain crunch cereal.... You never see seamen crunch!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sisterblisterblob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How do sailors like their women?

Scurvy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bad_Account_Name
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does an angry sailor go?

Anchor management

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slutforchristmas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of boat do sailors learn their trade on?

An apprenticeship

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fdlowe
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Viking sailors communicate?

Using Norse Code

πŸ‘︎ 302
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JKent2017
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the sailor go shopping?

Because they were having a sale!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G4ll0wsHum0ur
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What game do sailors love most?

Yacht-zee

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wawoodworth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
She swears like a sailor...

Wife: β€œHow much do sailors swear though?” Me: β€œA Ship-Load!”

... one of my prouder dad-jokes

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOneTrueAnt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Fun fact 777: 3.14% of sailors are Pirates.
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryden22
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pissed of sailor?

A pIRATE

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yetilock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
An old sailor fell from the crows nest.

An old sailor fell from the crows nest onto the deck. He survived. He was used to hardships.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Intagvalley
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Some sailors got shipwrecked on a desolate island

They built a village out of their galleon and called it a township.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheXLivonian
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.

He was in the wrong craft.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
3.14% of sailors are Pi rates
πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Headsup_Eyesdown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2018
🚨︎ report

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