What do you call a sailor with conjunctivitis?
Poop-eye!
Came up with this thanks to my three year oldβs just telling jokes where the punchline is poop. I must be doing parenting right.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 08 2021
Why does it take sailors ages to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C
π︎ 30
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︎ May 02 2021
I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....
π︎ 4
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︎ May 01 2021
I don't understand why sailors used to get scurvy all the time, I mean...
They had plenty of vitamin sea.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 15 2021
What do a dictionary and a sailor with Tourettes have in common?
π︎ 3
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︎ May 03 2021
The sailors were exploring the waters between the cliffs of the inlet.
It was the fjord expedition.
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︎ Mar 28 2021
A sailor walks into a thrift store after he lost a limb to a giant octopus
He said βI heard this is a second-hand shop, where they at?β
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π
︎ Feb 27 2021
The skipper of a 40 ton trawler which ran aground in Hull during the early hours of Sunday was reported to be 6 times over the legal limit for sailing. Authorities said they had no idea what to do with a drunken sailor early in the morning.
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π
︎ Dec 28 2020
What type of flowers do sailors give on Valentineβs Day?
π︎ 8
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︎ Feb 11 2021
A sailor goes to a doctor
Doc, I've started getting bad zits all over my ass.
Yeah, you've got a sebum problem.
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π
︎ Jan 27 2021
Why couldn't the sailor play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck!
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
Thereβs a sailor who is always finding foolβs gold
We call him the iron pirate.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Why did the sailor not buy the dvd?
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What do you call a sailor who you donβt like?
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︎ Aug 22 2020
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.
He was in the wrong craft.
π︎ 252
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
What happens if you throw a Finnish sailor overboard?
π︎ 7k
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︎ May 11 2019
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
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π
︎ Oct 01 2020
3.14% of sailors.....
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π
︎ Jun 18 2020
A sailor wrote a book about how to win a womanβs heart
Itβs called βThe Art of Seaductionβ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 22 2020
Freddie Sailor Mercury
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︎ Oct 30 2018
Why do sailors find it so difficult to learn the alphabet?
Because they often get lost at "C"!
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 07 2020
Why aren't sailors scared of COVID-19?
They're used to the perils of disease.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
What did the American sailor say when he was brought on board the British ship?
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 23 2020
What is a sailor's favorite type of art?
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 11 2020
The new sailor, Leo, asked me where the ship's cook could be found.
I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."
I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 14 2020
The captain wanted all sailors of German descent to come out onto the top ship platform and line up...
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π
︎ Apr 30 2020
Why donβt sailors like buying new hats?
They are afraid of cap sizing.
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︎ Feb 14 2020
Why do sailors eat shellsfish when rain is forecasted?
Its the clam before the storm
π︎ 43
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
Do you know what would happen when you throw a Finnish sailor into the ocean?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Aug 15 2019
Why can't you tickle a sailor?
Because they're nautical-ish
π︎ 294
π
︎ Jun 02 2018
Falling-down drunk sailors...
... are absolutely ship-faced!
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 14 2020
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 17 2019
Why did the sailor wash the dishes in his boat?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
What happens to sailors put on trial?
They are judged by a jury of their piers.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 15 2019
Sailor Loom
π︎ 33
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
Where do late sailors come from?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 21 2019
Where did the sailor go after work?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
How did Viking sailors communicate?
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︎ Nov 05 2017
doctor 1: this sailor broke his nose from crashing onto land.
doctor 1: Luckily they're just mariner injuries.
doctor 2: are you shore? they seem pretty bad to me.
doctor 1: nonsense, you can seafarer self.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
People only trust high ranking navy sailors. for instance there's Captain Morgan rum, Captain crunch cereal.... You never see seamen crunch!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 16 2019
Where does an angry sailor go?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Jun 21 2019
What kind of boat do sailors learn their trade on?
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π
︎ May 14 2019
What did the Shanghaied sailor say to the bosun?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
How do sailors like their women?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
I met a pilot once who said he actually wanted to be a sailor.
He was in the wrong craft.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
Why couldnβt the sailors play cards?
The captain was standing on the deck.
π︎ 222
π
︎ Aug 19 2019
Only 3.14% of sailors arrrr Οrates
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︎ Aug 17 2018
When is a sailor not a sailor?
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︎ Nov 26 2019
3.14% of sailors are Pi rates
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π
︎ Oct 25 2018
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