What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....

A fibbin' Nazi sequence

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📅︎ May 31 2021
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US Soldier - did u come here to die?

Aussie Soldier - Nah mate, came 'ere yesterdie.

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📅︎ May 31 2021
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Every soldier in my platoon was knocked out during combat.

I guess that's what happens when you're under the command of General Anesthesia.

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📅︎ May 30 2021
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What is a physicist's favorite soldier?

General Relativity

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📅︎ May 26 2021
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I was trying to create a super soldier in my lab, but I accidentally created a very thin man who could tell the future.

At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.

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📅︎ May 19 2021
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When does a medieval soldier sleep?

Knight time

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📅︎ May 16 2021
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If you have the soldiers named Salt and Pepper in your squad then consider yourself lucky.

They're seasoned veterans

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📅︎ Feb 26 2021
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Did you hear about the soldier who was attacked with mustard gas and pepper spray?

He was a seasoned veteran!

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👤︎ u/clkish1988
📅︎ Mar 31 2021
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Why did the Roman Soldiers have to crucify Jesus 6ft away from the 2 thieves?

...to prevent cross-contamination.

Happy Easter.

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📅︎ Apr 04 2021
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A soldier in WW2 was shot in the chest and the bullet was stopped by a stack of quarters in his pocket.

He said it was his life savings.

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📅︎ Mar 27 2021
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There were 2 ancient soldiers on a boat escaping Greece.

One yelled "ROW MAN!"

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📅︎ Apr 21 2021
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Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...

... requires a lot of Gaul.

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📅︎ Apr 13 2021
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A soldier is called in to speak to a sergeant...

The sergeant says: "I didn't see you today in the camouflage test"

"That's the idea, Sergeant"

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📅︎ Apr 07 2021
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Did you know Shakespeare had a brother who was a foot soldier in the military?

He would get so nervous before battle that he couldn't keep his hands from shaking. The say he wielded quite the shaky-spear.

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👤︎ u/_Mjolner_
📅︎ Apr 15 2021
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What day does a soldier hate?

March 4^th !

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📅︎ Mar 01 2021
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The coins in a WW1 soldiers pocket saved him from a bullet.

Some might say it was his life savings.

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👤︎ u/NorupGames
📅︎ Mar 26 2021
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What do you call a hairy elite soldier?

A SASquatch.

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👤︎ u/cman_yall
📅︎ Feb 11 2021
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What's the one month all soldiers hate?

March!

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📅︎ Nov 11 2020
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What did the German soldier say to the French soldier at the end of WWI?

Verdun.

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👤︎ u/VaiterZen
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

An infantry

Side note: I will be a first time father at the end of March. I am proud to join the dad joke ranks, my wife and son will learn to appreciate the content from this subreddit 😬

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📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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What do you call a baby soldier?

An INFANTry man

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📅︎ Jan 26 2021
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How do 490 Roman soldiers laugh?

XD

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👤︎ u/LordCinko
📅︎ Jan 23 2021
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Why did the Soviet army have such great soldiers

They were all excellent at marxmanship

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📅︎ Dec 02 2020
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Soldier 1: "zz~ WE'RE TAKING A LOT OF SHOTS OVER HERE!"

Soldier 2: "zz~ ALRIGHT, DON'T DRINK TOO MUCH!"

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📅︎ Jan 30 2021
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What did the soldier say to General Sherman when he was asked to do something

"Sher-man"

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📅︎ Jan 14 2021
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Why couldn't the confederate soldier stay married?

Because he succeeded from the union

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👤︎ u/Bagel-X
📅︎ Jan 08 2021
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A German soldier during World War II was embellishing the number of troops he had with him

When the Allies thought it was just him, he claimed there were not 1 but 2. Then he changed his story to 3. Then he said 5, then 8, then 13, and finally 21. When the Allies made it to his position, they discovered that it actually was just him.

Turns out he was a fibber nazi.

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👤︎ u/BradC
📅︎ Nov 09 2020
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It should be ganderstepping since most Nazi soldiers were male.

What's good for the goose, I guess.

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📅︎ Sep 10 2020
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How do soldiers stay hidden in the desert?

Camelflage

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📅︎ Sep 21 2020
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A Roman Soldier caught the Bartender's eye and gave him the two fingers sign..

" Five beers coming up " said the Bartender.

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📅︎ Jul 08 2020
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Why are the regular soldier ants the largest in their species?

Because they are G-I-ants

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👤︎ u/sq009
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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What do you call sperm from a cheating soldier?

Dishonorable discharge.

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📅︎ Jul 18 2020
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A woman told me she was in love with 14 soldiers and didn't know what to do.

I told her not to worry - it was clearly just a platoonic relationship.

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📅︎ Jun 18 2020
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What vehicle did German soldiers use to drive around during the second world war?

The Swasti-car.

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📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. /r/Jokes/comments/hrlc58/…
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📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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Where does the army put young soldiers?

The infantry.

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👤︎ u/labink
📅︎ Jul 28 2020
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Do it soldier
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👤︎ u/VinceDC
📅︎ Dec 23 2019
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Why was the soldier pinned down?

He was under a tack

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📅︎ Nov 27 2019
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What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

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📅︎ Apr 11 2021
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Did you hear about the soldier who got hit with mustard gas and pepper spray?

He's a seasoned veteran

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👤︎ u/icemage27
📅︎ Nov 28 2020
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Aug 09 2020
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What do you call a soldier who has survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran

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📅︎ Jul 16 2020
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran.
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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ May 26 2020
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a soldier once survived pepper spray and mustard gas

he was a seasoned veteran

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👤︎ u/Galeelo
📅︎ Sep 07 2019
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