Army Puns

Kernel

The Calfalry.

A flat major

Up their sleevies.

INFANTry

It mustered.

I've already been promoted to Kernel.

With a cowitzer.

In his sleevies

-Thanks to Stuff to blow your mind podcast

Maybe that's why my Sargent kept yelling "THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

An infant-ry

...but I understand this promotion was a major ordeal.

The centaur of attention..... ill see myself out

Apparently it is private.

In their sleevies.

Because they were naught-zis (Nazis).

(My 6 year old came up with this joke on his own out of the blue.)

In his sleeve-y.

Now I have CO vid 19.

MARCH FOURTH!

Happy March 4th everyone.

From the general store

General Knowledge

They were all excellent at marxmanship

All I said was hurry up some of us have homes to go to...

I’ll call them The Infantry

He is best known for the quote:
“Look on my worms, ye Mighty, and despair!”

Chest nuts roasting in open fire

And I remember he used to be stationed in exotic places all over the world. Once he came back home with a very exotic looking bird. I asked him what kind of a bird it was and he told me it’s a rare almost extinct species called a Foux (pronounced Foo). This foux was the apple of his eye and he would take care of the bird as if it was his own child. Sometime during this period the Foux began developing a real bad case of constipation and my father was really worried about it. He tried all kinds of medicines to make the Foux pass it’s bowels, but nothing was working. One day, during this period, I woke up to a huge argument taking place between my parents. My mom was accusing him of cheating on her during one of his tours, she had found some pictures of him and another woman and he was denying it vehemently. I realized then that my father had been quite the philanderer and this wasn’t the first time he had been caught. My mom was trying to get him to just admit to his indiscretion.

“Why don’t you just admit it Harry”, she said;

but he stuck to his denial,

“You think I could ever do something like this Sarah”, he said.

Right then amidst all this ruckus, the Foux began to take a dump, in the middle of the living room.

My mom looked at the bird, then looked back at my dad and with a sense of resignation she just said “Well if the Foux shits...”

He's very uncomfortable with the phrase "fire at will"

Tanks for that.

This will eliminate 75% of America’s car bunny missions.

He wanted to appear in Corporeal form!

He wanted a pizza the action

That’s why we also call them the Infantry.

A patty officer

They're better when youre on petrol

The kernel.

In his sleevies.

Up his sleevies

In his sleevies!

Up his sleevies.

A flat major

In his Sleevies!

In his sleevies.

In his sleevies..

In his sleevies.

~this was my senior quote

In his sleevies.

In their sleevies!

Up their sleevies.