BREAKING: Iran has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Persian Gulf, killing all 350 aboard

Whoops wrong sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeterPorky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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What do you call a canine on a submarine?

A subwoofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imnosouperman
πŸ“…︎ May 26
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I once got to be in a submarine.

I was at an all-time low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/savage13cabbage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?

He’ll sink ye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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A submarine
πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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A navy recruit has his first day on a submarine

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your postΒ to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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β€ͺMy kid’s toy submarine was having trouble staying under water...‬

β€ͺI hope this will not surface again‬

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
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How do you sink a submarine full of fools?

You knock on the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarzan-loves-cats
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?

The Salvation Navy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
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Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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Why isn't the submarine doing well in school.

He's below c-level

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πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
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A guy starts working at a submarine. In the first day he works as a cleaner, then helps at the kitchen. Next day he runs the ship. In the evening he’s absolutely exhausted so he asks his friend β€œWhy I have to change my position every time?”

He replies β€œI know, this sub is full of reposts”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?

Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moniker5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine

I'm under a lot of pressure

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C4ptaincrunch20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?

It goes very deep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Erikjb12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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I tried to make a wooden submarine.

It didn't go down so well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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My submarine is very sad.

I think it might have deepression

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuvalve
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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Why did the submarine driver lose his job

Old, racist tweets resurfaced

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boonicle12344
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?

Because they keep calling it a dipship

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fat-bandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
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What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Couldbeurmom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?

He couldn’t get any up-boats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenhamef
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.

She told me to look below C level.

(oc)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maraudershake
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2018
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What material are submarines made of?

Zinc

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πŸ‘€︎ u/furywolf28
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
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I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot. :-(

I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aphaelion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2018
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I needed more bass on my submarine, so I brought my dog with me.

He's a subwoofer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hitokirizac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2018
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What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?

The belly button

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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What do you call a dog in a submarine

A sub-woofer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kittycat959
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2017
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Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?

It's the depth charges.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anksil
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2017
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Why do people like movies about Submarines?

Because they have depth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corporatevakeel
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...

but they needed to sea mine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saddestclaps
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A man built a submarine.

Tested it on Monday and it worked great, so he spent Tuesday - Thursday sailing it around. On Saturday the bow ruptured and it sank. The man sighed, shook his head and mumbled "shoulda known".

What caused the sub to fail?

The weekend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thewilltosucceed
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
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How do you sink a submarine filled with idiots?

Knock on the door

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
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I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.

After all, they're sub-optimal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/i-kant_even
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
What is called it when you get motion sickness on a submarine?

Underseasick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRtHonLaqueesha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Submarine Golf Course

There's a new golf course that was built inside of a submarine. It's small, but people enjoy the novelty of it. The quality of the course isn't great though, so the general consensus seems to be that the whole experience is rather sub par.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/desktopdrummer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2015
🚨︎ report
A new Navy recruit has his first day on a submarine.... (apologies to u/buddybd)

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

"Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope."

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

"Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes."

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

"Listen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters."

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

"Hey there," says the recruit. "is it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven't kept one position for more than 15 minutes!"

The crewman says "Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts."

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IranRPCV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
A new Navy recruit has his first day on the submarine…

He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post.

β€œGo stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope.”

The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by.

β€œSon I’m changing your post to the mess hall. Go in there and start washing some dishes.”

The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. He’s cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again.

β€œListen here recruit, your new post is in the supply room. I need you to make sure everything is strapped down tight, in case of rough waters.”

The recruit again follows orders, and heads off to the supply room. There, he sees a crewman, moving some boxes.

β€œHey there,” says the recruit. β€œis it normal to keep getting reassigned to new posts all day? I haven’t kept one position for more than 15 minutes!”

The crewman says β€œOh yeah- this sub is full of reposts.”

πŸ‘︎ 187
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report

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