It ap-piers to be the sea-son for sea puns
I had to quit my job as a deep sea diver instructor.
The pressure was too much.
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
I asked the beach where the sea was...
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the sea?
What's the difference between a Sea Lion and a Seal?
The alphabet is terrifying. A bee sea? No thanks I’m good.
What do orca whales at sea world use to wash themselves?
What does a curious sea dweller do?
The local dragon regularly poops hundreds of pounds of ore directly into the sea.
It's a gross waste of resources.
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Sure, there are many fish in the sea...
But none of them are a catch.
To my surprise, my physician was the Mediterranean Sea
I guess C’s really do get degrees
You know where I should put those sea shells I found at the beach?
What should you do if you're addicted sea weed?
Did you hear about the computer that was thrown into the sea?
Now that's a DELL ROLLING in the deep
What do you call A bloke with no arms or legs floating in the sea?
I had to cancel a boat tour of a Norway cliff-wall sea inlet.
What do you get if you swim in the red sea?
Bet you didn't sea that coming.
What do sea monsters eat for lunch
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.
On a post about a washed up whale. This person SEAS the opportunity and they take it!
What is Dean Martin's favourite sea creature?
If the seas are rising so much due to climate change
We should start calling them B-‘s
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
I knew a guy who's best friend was a sea bird gifted by his dad's second wife.
It was his plover from another mother.
Why does seaguls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels.
Writing a book about a baby born in the sea...
The title is "From C-word to sea world"
If you dunk a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
My brother and I are really competitive, and he just broke my record for deep sea diving.
Sent my dad a nearby dive photo of sea lions in kelp & told him it made me officially excited to do local/non-tropical dives... his reply?
Well, that seals the deal!
It got a good laugh out of me. Photo here for the curious.
I always see this really buff sea doggo at my local gym...
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
Juan Vega, the clam diver, found an injured sea otter and nursed it back to health. From the moment the grateful otter was able to walk, it never left Juan's side. It even learned to dig for clams...
One day, a man went to Juan's house looking to hire him for a week.
His wife answered the door.
"Sure..." his wife said. "It will cost you $500."
"But you're getting my husband and his otter. They bring up more clams than anyone else in town."
"I just want Juan. I'll hire him alone for $350." the man countered.
"Sorry..." she shrugged. "You can't have Juan without the otter."
That’s why you can’t sea them
Why should you always use protection when having sex at sea?
So you don't get mermaids.
I'm a sea captain, my crew was goofing off at the back of the ship...
... I had to give them a stern warning.
A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large he was able to turn it into his house.
One day a storm flooded the area with seawater and damaged his home... now he's in a pickle.
How do you cut the ocean in half?... you use a sea saw
My friend asked if I could explain what the land beside the sea was.
What dose one ocean say when it seas another ocean?
What sea creature can fly without a wing?
An excellent sea captain is...
The quandary of the Sea Cucumber.
So, the Sea cucumber is always in salt water, always in the brine. It spends years in the ocean.
So why isn’t it a sea pickle?
I lost my wife to the sea.
She said I wasn't a shore thing,
What should you do if you’re addicted to sea weed?
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Cause if they lived by the bay they'd be bagels
Did you hear about all the sea birds going extinct?
I was going to spend Friday night studying stinging polyps that spend major part of their lifetime attached to rocks at the bottom of the sea, but a couple pals wanted me to go bar hopping...
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
Sea Shanties (cross-posted from r/Tumblr)
Can you SEA how bad this pun is
What did Abel say to his brother when he saw a big storm approaching from the sea?
Hurry Cain you don’t wanna get caught in that.
I just saw Charlie Chaplin and Marcel Marceau throwing a microphone into the sea.
I guess it's true what they say: Great mimes sink a mic.
Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they would be bagels!
What kind of card does a sea captain get when he is in the hospital?
What happened to the sea after meeting the ocean?
Got in a fight with a sea creature that I thought was my friend,
turned out he was anemone.
What did the sea tell the shore?
The Dead Sea used to be alive...
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it 🤠
My mother is on a sea food diet. . .
She seas food and she eats it.
A rare sea bass has been spotted
Who split the Red Sea using diffusion?
Rowboatcop! He seas your crimes!
You hear about the sinking ship that emerged in sea?
Yeah, it was a huge
what types of drugs do sea creatures consume?
I did not sea that coming.
What's the clingiest sea animal?
Who is Geralt's favourite sea mammal?
I saw that a local dog owner drowned at sea last night
His good buoy couldn't save him.
What do sea monsters eat?
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay they'd be bay gulls
How does the sea decorate for Christmas
I sea what they did there with the ocean puns. By: Unknown
Aquaman has plenty of fish in the sea.
Although he's not dating currently.
It’s easy to be the best tavern beneath sea level...
...that’s a really low bar.
Once long ago, a fisherman heard beautiful singing while he was alone a at sea.
He followed the enchanting voice till he came upon a singing yellowfin tuna. He knew he had found something incredible. He caught the fish, kept it alive and returned home.
He showed his friends and posted videos on tik tok, and the singing fish went viral. It could sing almost anything, but Pavarotti was it's favorite.
The fisherman toured around the world with the fish and set up a website to sell merch. The clothing he made sold like crazy, so he ordered thousands of short sleeve shirts to be made in advance.
Unfortunately, the fish died, and the public lost interest. The fisherman was left with endless opera tuna tees.
What would Neptune say if all the seas dried up?
I really haven't got a notion.
People might think a restaurant exclusively for sea mammals seems pointless...
But I know it will serve a porpoise.
What’s in the middle of The Sea?