I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
What do you call a caveman that follows a winding river?
Why did the bear go to down to the river?
What do you get when you cross a river and a stream?
Thanks to my 9 year old daughter!
How did the religious man cross the raging river?
How do you call a river that got castrated?
The first time Prince Charles went white water rafting, he threw up on himself when the river grew turbulent...
Beware of crocs in the river
Beware of crocs in the river
A truck unloaded tons of hand tools into a river...
It is now a screwed river
Why are small dried up river beds so cool?
Because they are ex-stream!
Have you heard of the woman who lives next to the river?
What's the only river that thinks it's a stream?
My friend wanted me to go skinny dipping with her in the river the divides Paris. I told her to go without me..
Longest river in the world.(works better aloud)
Some one said that I was in the longest river in the world. I wasn’t sure if it was true, I was in denial.
If I fell into the river that flows through Paris...
...am I legally in Seine?
What do you call Indiana Jones in a Scandinavian river?
De Nile is also the longest river in the world...
TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
Two men are on opposite sides of a river...
One man shouts two the other "How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The other man shouts back "You are on the other side!"
Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
If it were a guy we’d have to call it the Mistersippi River!
Salmon are born in a river, swim out to sea for most of their lives, and then one day years later swim back against insurmountable odds to the very spot where they were born.
And I can’t find my car in the parking lot.
I was gonna make a river joke
But I dont think its current
Two guys are on opposite sides of a river.
One yells to the other "Hey! How do I get to the other side?"
The other responds "You are on the other side!"
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fell into a river
I read that Russia opposes Israel's annexation of parts of the West Bank, well Putin can just go Crimea river
Did you hear about the paraplegic who threw himself into the river while on vacation in Egypt?
The crowd told him he wouldn't be able to swim, but he was in denile.
Come to think of it, I heard about a guy in France doing the same thing, but I'm pretty sure he was inseine.
My dad has a camera pointing at the river outside
He likes to keep up with current events.
What did one beaver say to the other at the river?
In which state does nile river flow?
What do you call it when you throw lima beans into a river?
A family of beavers walk across a river. Then the dad said to the family.
Why wouldn't the hipster swim in the river?
My friend still refuses to admit his house is in an egyptian river!
What do you do if you want to see a river?
I'm planning a parody TV show of Stranger Things, but starring river-based forest creatures.
I'm calling it Otter Stuff.
My mate secretly booked a cruise for me in the world's longest river.
I'm completely in the Nile.
Did you hear about the Parisian that got so sad when he saw Notre Dame burn, that he threw himself in the river?
Bridge on the River KAWAII
Where do people retrieve the money they dropped into the river?
Why did the elephant lie down in the river?
Because Tarzan said "damnit".
How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?
The lake by my house was overpopulated with river otters that would bite and harass people. The local gov used explosives to fix the problem. They called it operation otter pop
You guys hear about the pharaoh that couldn’t believe he fell in the river
What do you call a river when it starts flowing backwards?
What did the river say about the unintelligible man?
A man on one side of a river shouts to a man standing on the other side, “Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?”
The other man responds, “You are on the other side of the river.”
I had an argument with my friend about what the longest river in the world was. He wouldn't believe me that the Amazon river was the second largest river.
A river was depressed and jumped off a cliff. After years of this occurring I asked....
A glue company claimed it was environmentally friendly but was found to be dumping waste into the local river.
Their PR team is in a sticky situation.
I went swimming in a river in Paris and my friend went swimming in a river in Cairo. He said I was insane, but I told him he was in denial.
Last time I saw my ex-wife, what she said made me so mad I pushed her in the river
Q: What did she say?
If a story's climax happened over a river,
Would it be on a suspension bridge?
The fish swims down the river until it suddenly hits a wall.
One time a German tourist dove into a river to save someone's dog. When he came back, he said to the owner, "Here iz ze dog, put him in a blänket so he iz dry and warm." The owners ask him, "How do you know, are yoy a vet?" The German looks at them blankly, "Vet? Im fucking soaking!"
BREAKING NEWS: Truck hauling pigment collides with tour bus on bridge and both fall into river
Thankfully no lives lost, but everyone dyed
There's a fish swimming down a river and hits a wall
What did the river say when it saw the beaver coming?
My grandpa learned to swim when his dad tossed him in the river
He said it wasn't so bad once he untied himself and got out of the gunny sack.
Rivers love the little rocks on their floor so much, they carry them everywhere they go. Riveres are incredibly sedimental
My friend thought he could swim the longest river in the world
What did the river say to the sea?
How is a rose like a river?
My favorite Justin Timberlake song is the one about the river in Crimea
What did Dad Beaver say to his son when the river destroyed the dam he just finished building?
What do you call a river that thinks it's not a river?
What do you call a liar sitting in a river?
We all knew our friend was swimming in a river
But he kept saying it was lake. Well, someone's obviously in da Nile.
I'm a man who doesn't call "rivers," rivers.
That's just too mainstream.
What do you call a tree growing in the Indus River?
Read a great book the other day called "The Great Yellow River"
it was written by I.P. Freely
What did the ocean say to thank the river?
I appreciate the sediment.
What does the transport of large river-dwelling mammals have in common with the father of modern medicine?
They're both Hippocrates.
Where is Justin Timberlake's favorite river located?
Why does France put all of its crazy people in the river?
If it fell into the river it would be in Seine
What did God make after inventing the river?
Some people say there is no river in Egypt...
I'll passionately block a river for a french female clown
I'll dam it, Madame It, damn it!
Why did the river dog cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
I was going to divert the river to flood Paris...
But I didn't want to cause a Seine.
One day my dad handed me a river stone...
... it was a pretty stone, well rounded and a smooth surface.
Dad: "This is a very special stone, you should give it to your girlfriend."
Me: "Um... OK, sure."
Dad: "Do you know what kind of stone this is?"
Me: "A river stone? No, not really..."
Dad: "They call it a 'Sex Stone'."
Me: Raises eyebrow "Oh?"
Dad: "Do you know why they call it that?"
Dad: "Because it's just another fucking rock."
Well, I still have it on my bookshelf, and she's now my wife, so sure.
ATTENTION: DO NOT SWIM IN LAKES, RIVERS, POOLS OR STREAMS
It has been found these locations are contaminated with dihydrogenmonoxide, one of the deadliest compounds in the world.
Why did my crazy Aunt jump into the river in Paris?
I don't know if she's insane, but she's in Seine!
The owner of our office space came into the office today to announce that he was going to be on holidays for the next few weeks in Paris, at a beautiful spot right on the river.
I said "I hope being so close to the river doesn't make you go InSeine..."
Surprisingly, I got a pretty good laugh considering it was my first time meeting the guy. My colleague, who is more acquainted with my antics, rolled her eyes :)
If you stay in the area where the longest Afican river flows into the Mediterranean, you will go crazy.
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.