Today, I got kicked out of my "Flat Earth" Facebook group...
I just wanted to know if the '6 feet apart' social distancing guideline was pushing anyone over the edge.
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...
"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
He’ll come around, eventually.
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
I love how the Earth rotates
I just got kicked out of the flat earth society
I asked if the 6 feet social distancing guidelines pushed anyone over the edge.
What do you call the first Ant to grace the Earth who can't be persuaded to Sin?
I love how the earth rotates
It just really makes my day
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.
It's a shame that it only has four seasons.
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;
What do you call a female earth mage
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.
That's my pint of view, anyway.
Which is the oldest animal on the earth ?
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
Why are dollmakers the scum of the earth?
God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...
...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him “What’s wrong, Lord?” God replied “I think I’m gonna call it a day.”
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?
I love the way the earth spins
It just really makes my day
What is the least spoken language on earth
I love the way Earth rotates.
What on earth is brown and sticky?
What's making the Earth flat?
The hot solid iron under our feet!
(My first attempt. Please be gentle.)
Man I really love how the earth spins...
I debated with a flat earther once. He got so mad and steamed of saying he would walk of the edge of the earth.
He'll come around eventually.
Why don’t aliens ever visit Earth?
Because it only has one star
Why does a moon rock taste better then an earth rock?
Because there a littler meteor.
Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ?
I was going to make a dad joke about the center of the earth...
Why don't we eat asteroids until they get to Earth?
Because that's when they're meteor!
Pun from The Middle Earth
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it
What’s the Fastest Growing City on Earth?
The capital of Ireland.
It’s Dublin every day.
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?
It’s just a little meteor.
How do we know the Earth is flat?
The most remote place on earth
If you're born on Earth Day, then it's your
yes, i'm born on earth day...
Here’s an original one I just came up with just now while watching the Behind the Curve flat earth conspiracy documentary on Netflix. It made me realize that I am a flat eyeball conspiracist.
They’re just optical illusions.
If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go?
Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks?
I once saw an add to enter the falt earth society
It said they were gathering people from all around the globe
What is the tallest building on earth?
The library, it has the most stories
A suspicious looking spacecraft landed on Earth to bring back to life ray-finned fish. But one spacecraft wasn't sufficient, so more arrived.
I think it was extra to restore eels
My house got swallowed up by the earth today
Not a good sinkhole de mayo
Me: Son, there is a soulmate for you on every corner of the earth
Son: But the earth is round
a:) accidentally broke one of the earths layers!
b:) which one?
On Earth Day I was going to plant a tree
But I planted my butt on the couch.
I love it when the earth turns! It just really makes my day.
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."
Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."
This Square Earth I found at a book store.
what is called when worms take over Earth?
What do you call a flat earth rap?
When should you inject the earth with antidepressants?
When its suffering from poor mantle health.
The Earth employs its continents.
Which country on Earth has the worst internet service?
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;
It's pasteurized before you even see it.
The main reason there are so many dormant volcanoes on Earth is
Did you hear about the near-sighted aliens who showed up on Earth?
They were looking for first contacts.
On Earth Hour, we'd like to shed some light...
on the importance of saving energy.
What did I just see suddenly and unexpectedly on Google Earth?
How do you call a Middle-Earth herb that grows on Rivendell rocks?
You would think the Earth is best, but the moon runs rings around it
Why is life on Earth so unpredictable?
Because Earth is bipolar.
Why doesn’t aliens visit Earth?
Because we only have a one star review.
What does the sun say to the earth every New Year's Day?
Why does earth always have mood swings?
What do you call Sir Francis Drake's circumnavigation of the Earth?
What's the fastest liquid on earth?
It's pasteurised before you see it.
What would Earth be without art?
Literally just had this one made up by my 10 year old. So proud!
Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?
Because they're lion cheetahs.
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said “I’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said “What are you going to do now?” ...
“Oh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?
What's the most Down-to-Earth state in the USA?
(Originally by my 5-year-old cousin)
I got an email from Google that said "At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards". And so I thought...
I love the way the Earth rotates
I love how earth rotates.
I just love how the earth rotates
What's the fastest liquid on Earth?
Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.
I love the way the earth rotates.
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours
What is the fastest liquid on earth?
Milk! It’s pasteurized before you even see it!
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...
What’s the fastest growing city on Earth?
The capital of Ireland – it’s Dublin every day.