Today, I got kicked out of my "Flat Earth" Facebook group...

I just wanted to know if the '6 feet apart' social distancing guideline was pushing anyone over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 294
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BuckDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
Scientists got bored after watching the Earth turn after 24 hours

So they called it a day

πŸ‘︎ 740
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kobykins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
My 16 year old son was in the kitchen baking up a storm when my wife came downstairs. "What are you doing?" she asked him. "I'm going to have a bake sale to buy a car," he answered. "Where on earth did you get that idea? We're in a pandemic! No one is going to buy baked goods!" He said...

"I heard on Reddit that you need cake to get the car, ma."

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying he’d walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.

He’ll come around, eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MohanBhargava
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...

β€œThat’s just spam.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
The COVID19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 20k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I love how the Earth rotates

It makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 951
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/martmartm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12
🚨︎ report
I just got kicked out of the flat earth society

I asked if the 6 feet social distancing guidelines pushed anyone over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call the first Ant to grace the Earth who can't be persuaded to Sin?

Adamant

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLearningUstaad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23
🚨︎ report
I love how the earth rotates

It just really makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Fraul-
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
This year, I've really enjoyed watching 'Planet Earth'.

It's a shame that it only has four seasons.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MerlinOfRed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
I got an email from Google saying "At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!" and I thought;

"That's just spam!"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jahnatan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24
🚨︎ report
What do you call a female earth mage

A sandwitch

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CableTV112
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Beer is the greatest beverage on earth.

That's my pint of view, anyway.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScurvyDog509
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What a down to Earth guy
πŸ‘︎ 278
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainJon720
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Which is the oldest animal on the earth ?

Zebra

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dhruwatkadam
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29
🚨︎ report
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.

He remembered to add the sea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Why are dollmakers the scum of the earth?

They objectify everyone.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Angellmc420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...

...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him β€œWhat’s wrong, Lord?” God replied β€œI think I’m gonna call it a day.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
Can you just imagine how pterosaurs felt seeing that meteor entering the earths atmosphere?

Probably pterofied.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MasterNova924
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
I love the way the earth spins

It just really makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ra1ds4ad0w
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
What is the least spoken language on earth

Sign language

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I love the way Earth rotates.

It really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Autistic_Spoon
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
What on earth is brown and sticky?

A stick.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/P00PB0YY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What's making the Earth flat?

The hot solid iron under our feet!

(My first attempt. Please be gentle.)

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/matthewrmshin
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
Man I really love how the earth spins...

It really makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjx_the_mop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
I debated with a flat earther once. He got so mad and steamed of saying he would walk of the edge of the earth.

He'll come around eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-_Vapor_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Why don’t aliens ever visit Earth?

Because it only has one star

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/frupp110
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
Why does a moon rock taste better then an earth rock?

Because there a littler meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/talpa710
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
Down to Earth....
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Savings_Cattle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Recent studies show Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Current events make it less attractive.

All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ?

Crimea River

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
I was going to make a dad joke about the center of the earth...

but I’m above that.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/engineerwho_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
Why don't we eat asteroids until they get to Earth?

Because that's when they're meteor!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
Pun from The Middle Earth
πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kingof-potatos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."

"...not our Sun."

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk. Its pasteurized before you can see it

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Flameboy42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s the Fastest Growing City on Earth?

The capital of Ireland.

It’s Dublin every day.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Newbosterone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.

Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/holymolybreath
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Why does a moon rock taste better than an earth rock?

It’s just a little meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingInTheNorth57
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
How do we know the Earth is flat?

It doesn't wear a bra.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZubinB
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
The most remote place on earth
πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MONKEY_COCK_EATER
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
If you're born on Earth Day, then it's your

B-Earth-Day

yes, i'm born on earth day...

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EvilPotato1216
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
Here’s an original one I just came up with just now while watching the Behind the Curve flat earth conspiracy documentary on Netflix. It made me realize that I am a flat eyeball conspiracist.

They’re just optical illusions.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gabriel_Aurelius
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
If the earth was flat and fish swam over the edge, where would they go?

Trouter space

πŸ‘︎ 84
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mnb1114
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
Why do space rocks taste better than earth rocks?

They’re a little meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kswenning
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle /r/Jokes/comments/g7nncw/…
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikelb5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
I once saw an add to enter the falt earth society

It said they were gathering people from all around the globe

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sergio_the_pro
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
What is the tallest building on earth?

The library, it has the most stories

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
A suspicious looking spacecraft landed on Earth to bring back to life ray-finned fish. But one spacecraft wasn't sufficient, so more arrived.

I think it was extra to restore eels

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
My house got swallowed up by the earth today

Not a good sinkhole de mayo

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Me: Son, there is a soulmate for you on every corner of the earth

Son: But the earth is round

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yorp4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
a:) accidentally broke one of the earths layers!

b:) which one?

a:) dismantle

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/geeth707
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
On Earth Day I was going to plant a tree

But I planted my butt on the couch.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lexmaster02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I love it when the earth turns! It just really makes my day.
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonBlazer27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
A child was bored out of his mind. His mother told him that they are going to the laundry mat and the child said "that is the most boring place on earth."

Then the mother said, "Come on, it will be loads of fun."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arceist_Justin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
This Square Earth I found at a book store.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greekboy69Z
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
🚨︎ report
what is called when worms take over Earth?

global worming

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wumbojimbo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a flat earth rap?

A disc track

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
When should you inject the earth with antidepressants?

When its suffering from poor mantle health.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What on Earth...
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jedwa3658
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The Earth employs its continents.

Australia got fired.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danielsoft1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18
🚨︎ report
Which country on Earth has the worst internet service?

Lagistan.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrStringyBark
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth;

It's pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 753
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
The main reason there are so many dormant volcanoes on Earth is

Eruptile Dysfunction.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the near-sighted aliens who showed up on Earth?

They were looking for first contacts.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
On Earth Hour, we'd like to shed some light...

on the importance of saving energy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What did I just see suddenly and unexpectedly on Google Earth?

Sudden Canyon!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
How do you call a Middle-Earth herb that grows on Rivendell rocks?

>!Elvish Parsley.!<

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bomsusik
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
🚨︎ report
You would think the Earth is best, but the moon runs rings around it
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Barktf2
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is life on Earth so unpredictable?

Because Earth is bipolar.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Why doesn’t aliens visit Earth?

Because we only have a one star review.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
🚨︎ report
What does the sun say to the earth every New Year's Day?

Happy Bearthday

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tarthbane
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why does earth always have mood swings?

Because it's bipolar

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/monsterlooster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
What do you call Sir Francis Drake's circumnavigation of the Earth?

A Wander of the World

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
Wonders of the earth
πŸ‘︎ 557
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk.

It's pasteurised before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What would Earth be without art?

Eh.

Literally just had this one made up by my 10 year old. So proud!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/karajan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you trust the offspring of the king of the jungle and the fastest cat on earth?

Because they're lion cheetahs.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/b-dawg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth?

It’s pasteurized before you even see it.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepattato
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
So God was talking to one of his Angels. He said β€œI’ve created 24 hours of alternating lightness and darkness in earth”. The Angel said β€œWhat are you going to do now?” ...

β€œOh I think I’ll call it a day” God replies.

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Bruce Willis say when he saw an asteroid heading for earth?

Armageddon outta here!!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmygun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the most Down-to-Earth state in the USA?

Floorida.

(Originally by my 5-year-old cousin)

πŸ‘︎ 145
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Overlevendeftw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I got an email from Google that said "At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards". And so I thought...

"That's just spam"

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I love the way the Earth rotates

It really makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reasonable-Loan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
I love how earth rotates.

It really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jojoquin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I just love how the earth rotates

It makes my day

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the fastest liquid on Earth?

Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it.

πŸ‘︎ 419
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I love the way the earth rotates.

It really makes my day.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Horizon6_TwT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Scientists got bored watching the earth turn, so after 24 hours

They called it a day

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RaptorDesign
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What is the fastest liquid on earth?

Milk! It’s pasteurized before you even see it!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

β€œThat’s just spam.”

πŸ‘︎ 22k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the fastest growing city on Earth?

The capital of Ireland – it’s Dublin every day.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report

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