Ground coffee
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebear96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
A rare picture of ground in its natural habitat
πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrTomas150
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
What is the most ground breaking invention of all time?

... the Plow!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZimbaZumba
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29
🚨︎ report
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. I accidentally slipped and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Grandpa gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried...

I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.

I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones...

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Can we stop circulating the same jokes over and over into the ground.

It's boring.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
Gulag was Putin the ground
πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/f1fan6890
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Ground coffee

A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.

He turns to the waiter and says, β€œWaiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, β€œBut, sir, it’s fresh ground!”

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23
🚨︎ report
i just made a ground-breaking discovery!

shovels!

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsessjaydee
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16
🚨︎ report
I just read about the most ground breaking invention in the history of humanity

It’s a shovel

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sergio_the_pro
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
A guy says he taught his dog Morse code. "Aye right Show me." Mate says. Guy turns to dog and asks "who's been a good boy then?" Dog uses paw on ground. Tap tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap pause tap pause tap long pause tap tap tap pause tap. "what he say?" Mate asks

"woof" guy replies

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDogBoyMark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I gave my wife some ground chickpeas and she choked to death.

The cops are treating it as a hummus-cide.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shopcounterwill
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
We found a dolphin skeleton on the beach, so we ground the bones to make some bread...

It was all-porpoise flour.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
I keep being awakened by dreams of Indian dishes that use a complex combination of spices or herbs, usually including ground turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, and fresh or dried chilies...

It's a re-curry-ing nightmare.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke!

I guess it didn’t have much HP.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
My kid cried when his soda fell on the ground.

I told him to suck it up

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Demonazzzz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
What lies on the ground 100ft in the air?

A dead centipede

πŸ‘︎ 402
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpy_hubby
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
The other day I was walking down the street and I commented that I like someone’s spunky shoes. 10 minutes later I passed her again and she gave me a $5 bill she found on the ground.

That’s karma in real life

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superto3
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Ground breaking inventions
πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/glitchomojo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?

It’s meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/passlake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
I was showing my friend my new house and said, β€œThis is the ground floor..”

Him: β€œWhat’s upstairs?”

Me: Stairs don’t talk.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25
🚨︎ report
What do you call frozen ground beef?

Ham-brrrrr-ger

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeabaSquad
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground?
πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sempiterna81
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
I’m worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...

She immediately raised it above her head and said, β€œThis is a stick up!”

(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiguelPopsicle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
"Cheer up, you could be a replacement stake in the ground for barbed wire to stretch upon," said one new joke to another.

"Yeah, I guess I could be a repost," said the other new joke.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
🚨︎ report
We drove to California and had a picnic on the beach. Had a great time, even though our waffles fell on the ground.

I'll always remember that sandy Eggo trip.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CSwork1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Every time my bike hurts me, I throw it down to the ground.

It's a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djbassmekanik
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
What do you get when you dig a hole in the ground and fill it with denim?

A jean pool

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Payasin70
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28
🚨︎ report
what did the flat earther say before falling from a rocket onto the ground?

"The earth is SPLAT"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Davis_Schina
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
"Ground Beef"
πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MuddySkull
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend's bakery burned to the ground yesterday.

Now his business is toast.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_kefir
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
My dad won't stop til he's dead in the ground

A while back, I had a small housewarming cookout. While my dad was eating a burger and I was still on the grill, he had some sort of episode where his heart stopped. Ambulance came and took him to the hospital and now he's doing fine again.

However... He tells all his friends now "You should try my son's grilling. He makes killer burgers. They're absolutely to die for"

facepalm

Now THAT'S a devoted dad-joker

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/celticblacksmith
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
As a lad, I was always afraid of water coming from the ground...

I was a spring chicken.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
Just got the Father-in-law with this one... Me: At Disney World parades they keep people in line with masking tape on the ground.

Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it? Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
🚨︎ report
My son has been learning about inventors at school and came home today desperate to know my favourite ground breaking invention.

I said the shovel

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBobbyGucci69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24
🚨︎ report
My nephew said he was trying to help out when he spilled a bucket of water from the hole in the ground...

I knew he meant well.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/celticdude234
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
The door knob on my front door is two feet off the ground

It’s low-key annoying

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GraciousTacious15
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07
🚨︎ report
What is it called when you kill someone with a bow from the high ground?

Death from a bow.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonskuz15
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
At 11:59:59, don't forget to get your left foot off the ground.

That way you can start the new year on the right foot.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the Australian marsupial climb down the tree to drink the beverage waiting for him on the ground?

It was Low Koala Tea

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Talon184
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
if you bury a cow, does that make them ground beef?
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coffinedude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You know what you call a cow laying on the ground?

Ground beef

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasulli721
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The invention of a the shovel was a ground-breaking achievement
πŸ‘︎ 267
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benzilla04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Found a baby blue jay on the ground. Not sure what to do with it.
πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CriticalGeode
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Salvador Dali shaking on the ground?

He was having a brush stroke

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Ground beef
πŸ‘︎ 192
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRobotics5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water? No?

Well well well

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What has been the worlds most ground breaking technology?

The shovel!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tw1ch1e
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
That was ground breaking!
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SeaGDPA
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy pouring soy sauce on another guy laying on the ground, so I punched him

It's not right to Kikkoman when he's down

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ahw610
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the sailer ground his son?

His grades were below C level

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlie0918
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Did anyone hear a Shovel was a ground breaking invention.
πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Northwestern253
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever hear the one about the 3 holes in the ground?

Well Well Well

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MovCookie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the one about the really deep hole in the ground?

Well... Well... Well...

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The invention of the shovel was truly ground breaking
πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StAnger99
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
You can't run through a camp ground. You can only ran.

Because it's past tents

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you drop a duck egg on the ground?

It quacks

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pistil617
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
The discovery of the shovel was ground breaking

Edit: Didn't expect my joke to dig so deep. My inbox is soiled

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the rubber plane say when it hit the ground?

Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MCCreeper844
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a woman who said to check her balance, I paused and wondered why she asked that but I checked her balance with a push and she tumbled to the ground. I shruged, got my bank statement and left the bank.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/datboiJR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Ground beef
πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/woopstrafel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do the Polish bury Germans 12 feet under ground?

Because really deep down they're good people.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lespinoza
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel was really a ground-breaking invention.
πŸ‘︎ 538
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedditUserGary
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
The invention of dynamite was ground-breaking.
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rey_lumen
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground...

While walking down the street a man found a hundred dollars on the ground. Ecstatic, he took the money and walked into a nearby store, thinking he would treat himself. Inside, he purchased a large chocolate cake and started walking home. Suddenly, a crazy old man popped out of an alley next to him and ran straight past him! As he went by, he dropped a mechanical eyeball straight into the middle of the cake. Dazed, the man stopped and stared at the eyeball when it suddenly started to belt out a tune!

Well, obviously the best part of this story was the finding of the 100 dollars - everything else is just eye sing on the cake.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0elijaHayes0
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I've often wondered as I walk through the forest, "Why is the ground so dirty?"

Well, now I know. Nature abhors a vacuum.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I went grocery shopping and was sad that they had ground bison

I was looking for flying bison.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
If the police pin someone to the ground, but they struggle to get away, do they become a...

?

rule 6 compliance section: >!It's an aluminum-shelled resistor. The person trying to escape would be a resistor, but would be put in a car, which are about 9 percent aluminum, if this shitty article I found online is to be believed: https://auto.howstuffworks.com/under-the-hood/auto-manufacturing/5-materials-used-in-auto-manufacturing3.htm the car would be the metal shell.!<

>!also I found online that walking at 5 km/h takes around 100W of energy, so I went with 200W because I figured trying to escape the police while prone probably takes around double the effort.!<

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kirbykirby56
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel a ground breaking invention.

hope u enjoy

ps i know i am missing a coma.

i can not change the title.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alex_pro_king
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I can hear beautiful watery holes in the ground

You could say I hear pretty well

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dasamont
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Ground beef
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IcyFrogg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Ground breaking title
πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NALPBAUM
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The first person who dropped the Nokia 3310 made a ground breaking discovery.
πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheDoge55545
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I found a nickel on the ground today and I have a feeling I’m going to find a penny later.

It’s my sixth sense

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jibbleschmitt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad? How do you get water out of the ground?

Well.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My son called excitedly from the other room, shouting, "Look dad! A fricken' ground hornbill escaped from the zoo!" Not certain about what I heard and a little upset, I asked, "What did you say!?"

He repeated, "A fricken' ground hornbill...!"

Really upset now, I stopped him mid-sentence and asked, "Who taught you how to talk like that!?"

He pointed to the TV, "It says it right there!"

I looked at the screen and read, "Two African ground hornbills escaped from their enclosure at the Honolulu Zoo in Waikiki Sunday."

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I noticed my son's dress shoes were unlaced and dragging on the ground as we were leaving church on Sunday. My wife spoke up and said, "now honey, he's probably just stylin'"

I replied, "More like he'll be trippin' the way I see it."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jackrabbits1im
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roxbob
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the helicopter fly into the ground?

Because the heavencopter was the one in the sky!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emider
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crumpled up page of a book on the ground?

"litter"ature

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacob_the_Chorizo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter saw a bug on the ground

Daughter: Dad, what is that? Me: Looks like a millipede. Daughter: Well, that's better than a millipooped

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HumanClaymore
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
A cow with no legs it's ground beef...
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLe99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2018
🚨︎ report
If a cow with two legs is lean beef and a cow with no legs is ground beef, what do you call a cow playing with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The ground floor of buildings are really terrible.

The next floor, however, is a different story.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lelendor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call lizard that throws trash on the ground?

A litigator

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the most ground breaking invention ever?

The shovel

πŸ‘︎ 158
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CasperWithAJ
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend keeps saying cheer up it could be worse you could be in a hole in the ground full of water

I know he means well

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jj121jj
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a ground breaking invention
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Noah_1228
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a ground breaking invention
πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NateThyGreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/christmasbush
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
🚨︎ report
The shovel was a truly ground breaking invention!
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_Goblin_565
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
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The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
πŸ‘︎ 233
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Natty383
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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The shovel was a ground breaking invention.
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Talpas98
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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