My son kept chewing on all the electrical chords we had set up for the holidays, so I grounded him...

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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My son was playing with electricity, so I grounded him.

He wasn't shocked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xxxeye4neyexxx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What did the electrician do to his son when he found him playing with electrical wires?

He grounded him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Red_Mailbox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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My father always laughed at me when I got shocked playing with electricity

He’d laugh and say, β€œSon, you’re grounded.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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My dad punished me for playing with electricity

He said, "Son, you're grounded!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Took me an hour to draw this and it was worth it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Butterytoast_07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Coffee isn't electrically conductive in bean form.

But it is when it's ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2019
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Just dad joked the owner of my company

So I'm normally an electrician by trade, but work has been slow lately, so I've been helping one of his friends with some of the concrete work in a small housing development close to the shop. Well he came out and started talking to me about what I've gotten done since this morning, I told him and he goes "This is getting you great electrical experience!" I kinda laugh and reply back "Yeah, I'm learning all about grounding." He turned and walked away, but I about died laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jonnybanana88
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I have big dreams about doing electrical work around the house, but my wife is the sensible one

She keeps me grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2019
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My son keeps chewing on the live electric wires...as a parent, I handled it...

I told him he’s grounded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BalenTheWeeb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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Why doesn't a coffee maker need that third prong on its electrical plug?

The beans are ground.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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Why couldn't the electricity go outside?

Because it was grounded.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2017
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Senior sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2017
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I couldn't believe I rewired a piece of equipment incorrectly...

I was shocked!

So true story, I rewired an electric chain hoist at work today, and I followed the Wire diagram as it was laid out. But when I went to try it, I got a nasty shock. Turns out a customer had tried to rewire it themselves and swapped the ground and the live wire in the controller... mean practical joke? I don't know. But it woke me up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeerBellies
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him..

He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/champion-13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My son kept chewing on the electrical cords so I had to ground him...

He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Evadguitar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him.

He’s doing better currently, and conducting himself properly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently, and now conducting himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geek_fest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My son kept chewing on live electrical wires

So I had to ground him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afranc72
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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I caught my kid chewing on the electrical cords

So I had to ground him He’s doing better currently And conducting himself properly...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan-Yeet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords...

I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently. He’s even conducting himself better. I don’t know watt got into him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dohpaz42
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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My son kept chewing on electrical cables

So I had to ground him

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I caught my daughter chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground her.

She's doing better currently, and now conducting herself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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My son kept chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He’s doing better currently and he’s conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaintingViking
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords,

so I had to ground him.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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