What watches over a castle when the sun goes down?
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︎ May 11 2021
I woke up this morning to find two birds sitting in the sun in our backyard eating ice cream.
They were Basking Robins.
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︎ Apr 26 2021
Why did the dad love his sun?
Because he was really bright.
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︎ Jun 06 2021
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Bread is like the Sun
Rises in the yeast, sets in the waist.
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︎ Apr 05 2021
If the Earth is the third planet from the Sun...
...does that mean that every country is a third-world country?
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︎ Apr 05 2021
I never thought the sun really goes around the earth
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︎ Apr 02 2021
After getting back from the beach, my daughter said, โHey, look! Iโm tan from the sun!โ
I shook her hand. โItโs very nice to meet you! Iโm Dad from Earth.โ
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︎ May 17 2021
Would you like to be the sun to my life?
Her: yes, I really would!
Me: good, so stay 92 million miles away from me!
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︎ May 08 2021
Special moment: giving my sun his first bath.
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︎ Jan 22 2021
My friend has the perfect plan, he says we can travel to the sun...
We just have to go at night
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︎ May 02 2021
Sun dried laundry is always...
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went
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︎ Mar 10 2021
What is sun tzuโs cookbook called?
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︎ Mar 23 2021
How does the Sun deliver light to Earth?
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︎ Apr 18 2021
What happens when the sun goes out in Bangladesh?
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Why is the sun setting
Cause it's done for the day!
came up with this when my 5 year old asked me
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Damn, sun!
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︎ Feb 18 2021
What did the Sun say when it first saw Venus?
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︎ Mar 24 2021
What kind of dogs like sun tanning?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
It was my suns birthday today.
4,603,000,001 years young.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
I promised my new girlfriend the sun, the moon and the stars....
So, I took her to the planetarium.
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Why shouldn't you stare at the Sun?
Because you'll get Corona Iris.
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︎ Mar 09 2021
From my six years daughter: what kind of bread does the sun like?
A heart shaped bread. (she pronounced it "hot" with a heavy British accent). This is her Valentine day joke. I am a proud dad.
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︎ Feb 13 2021
Well.. We made another trip around the sun.
But it's the earth's rotation that really makes my day.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
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︎ Dec 21 2020
My friend today is intentionally staring at the sun to cause eye damage.
Look on the bright side, today will be the last time he sees 2020....
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Why didn't the sun go to college?
It already has like a million degrees!
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︎ Dec 23 2020
2 Astronauts landed on the Sun
Astronaut 1 : ItssofuckinghotcanIgetabeeraroundhere?
Astronaut 2 : Thereisnospacebar.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
NASA put a watch around a potted plant and sent it on a rocket to the sun. I said to my Daughter, "don't worry, it will be ok.."
"a watched pot never boils"
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︎ Jan 20 2021
Somebody should come up with a name for when the sun goes down
Iโm gonna call it a night
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︎ Jan 16 2021
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︎ Oct 21 2020
Hey Sun.
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︎ Oct 18 2020
I squint at the sun because its bright...
......but, I squint at some coworkers, because they aren't.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.
I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.
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︎ Jan 13 2021
His Sun isn't so bright...
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︎ Sep 17 2020
Mon, Wed, Fri, Sun- its Greg Tues, Thurs, Sat- its Ian
It's the GregorIan Calendar.
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︎ Dec 17 2020
If we lived on the sun
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︎ Nov 21 2020
They just found a planet practically identical to earth, but it has two suns.
Itโs a constant sun set.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Bread is like the sun.
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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︎ Apr 27 2021
How is bread like the sun?
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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︎ Mar 29 2021
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was
And then it dawned on me.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
Brewing beer is like the sun....
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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︎ Mar 31 2021
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was,
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︎ Jan 05 2021
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went...
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︎ Dec 31 2020
Beer is like the sun...
It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun went.
And then it dawned on me.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
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