I told my mother moose were falling from the sky.

She said, "It's reindeer."

πŸ‘︎ 360
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BellaLugosisChips
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
The sky’s the limit
πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toe-knail
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
I bee-leave I can touch the sky
πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/semc1986
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....

Plane english

My 6yo laid this one on me and I hadn't heard it before so thought it might be enjoyed here

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jimmyhiggo
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
If your parachute fails while sky diving, it’s okay...

...you have the rest of your life to fix it.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?

Meatier showers.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Travis-Tarbox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
1986, The Chernobyl reactor exploded, releasing a bright, radioactive beam into the sky. People in towns away stared at it in awe.

They must've thought that it was pretty rad

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackKnightiscool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
The sky looked a bit foreboding this morning, so I asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?" Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley."

I must have left my phone in Airplane mode.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
Honey, you are the sun that lights my sky.

I'm glad you're there, but god I hate looking at you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PopUpAdCockBlock
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
Somewhere in the skies, Otto is smiling…
πŸ‘︎ 863
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingtiger79
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Sky diving is the scariest thing I've ever, ever.....

Refused to do.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Migratory birds can be fascinating. You often see them fly in "V" formation across the sky. On occasion you see that one side is longer than the other. It's a simple scientific explanation really.

There just happens to be more birds on that side.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrscottib23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"

The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whitethunder9
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't blind people sky dive??

It scares the dog.

πŸ‘︎ 293
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OhThatGuy625
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When the moisture from the sky stops falling

It really stops waning

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Red sky at night, shepherd's delight.

Blue sky at night? Day.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Riding the sky
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I see Sky News saying this whole Boris Johnson thing is unpresidented...

don’t they mean unprimeministered ?

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"

Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
2 cowboys were riding along and one saw a tree with bacon dangling from the branches. One called out saying "Look a Bacon Tree!" As they went closer to have a look they were confronted with a sky full of arrows. The other cowboy yelled:

This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brendo20
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I couldn’t figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...

Then it hit me.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2020
🚨︎ report
When do monkeys fall from the sky?

During ape-ril showers.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OCR9
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
🚨︎ report
There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky

This much is plane to sea

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/link7934
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mother who gave birth to her baby while she was in the sky?

I guess you can say the baby was airborne

Edit: Sorry if the joke is terrible, I just made it up.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wise_Guy_Plato
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do you say when you spot a flying Jedi in the sky ?

Look... Skywalker!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokeretailer
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a rock that fell from the sky more delicious than one you find on the ground?

It’s meteor.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/passlake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
🚨︎ report
At least he gets a good view of the sky...
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My dogs started playing β€œLucy in the Sky with Diamonds”

Should’ve known since they are the Beagles..

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
🚨︎ report
You know, sometimes, as I lie in bed, looking up into the great night sky, counting each star and watching the moon slowly float by, I think to myself:

"Where the fuck is my roof?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucasAllenSimms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do blind people hate sky diving?

It scares the hell out of their dogs.

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend: "I created the brightest star in the night sky."

Me: "You can't possibly B Sirius."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What holds the sun up in the sky?

Sunbeams

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
A woman and a man were talking when suddenly a bird appeared from the sky
  • Would you like to donate to my charity. Said the bird when landing on a tree above their heads

  • What is it called? asked the man.

The bird looked them straight in the eyes and cawed four times.

The man and woman were very confused until the bird said.

  • It's four good caws.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IsakSolarInte
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
When does Sky News go live?

I dunno, when they air?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/John_Denver1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.

I had to drop out to graduate.

πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
When you look at the sky and see the moon

You're looking at a subtle light

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit

This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If someone falls out of the sky, and lands on a church...

They would be inspired.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chikyuu_ondanka
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
i threw some peas into the sky

air pods

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BDeanMusic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night:

Day.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AAC0813
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Pennies and quarters rain from the sky

β€œWow!” I say. β€œIt’s climate change!”

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/usernametakenexe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Robots in the skies.
πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I installed a sky light in my apartment.

The people upstairs were not happy at all.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was growing up, my dad always used to tell me, β€œThe Sky’s the Limit!”

He was never supportive of my dreams of becoming an astronaut.

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad always used to say, "The sky's the limit!"

Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
🚨︎ report

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