Fus Roald Dahl
He said I had a deviated Septim.
Because they live in solitude
Because they have scales
My dad was playing Skyrim and he had to leave the room. a yeti started attacking him so i killed it and paused the game. when he came back i told him that a yeti attacked him and I paused it for him after killing it. and he responded with "yeti didn't get me".
Ell if I no
He wanted to know what all the Fus was all about.
Man, that's such a selfish profession.
Boyfriend: What is?
because he's a neck romancer.
I bumped into my teenage daughter while carrying laundry down the hall.
D: I've been assaulted!
Me: I've been a-peppered! Haha!
D: Oh. my. god. You are the worst!
Me: It's not my fault you can't handle all this flavor!
Now she won't talk to me so I'm gonna go enjoy the solitude and play Skyrim.
Before her bath last night, my 7 year old saw my copy of Skyrim by the computer.
"Games for Windows??? But dad, you're not a window!"
While I was streaming Skyrim, my character got killed by a Giant.
German guy goes: "Don't be sad about your character because sad is just das spelled backwards and das is not good."
"Skyrim? Isn't that a rim-job on an airplane?"
I'm playing skyrim but I'm too much of a lazy bum to walk/run to my destination so I go into console and type in tcl and just run straight through the clouds to my quest. My friend asks me what I'm doing (he just walked in and isn't looking at me) and I explain that I'm hovering 3000 or so feet above a major city. "Hamza," he asks, "how many drugs are you on?" "Oh, I'm not on drugs. I'm just really high."
It's lame but it's my first one and I'm rather proud of it.