I once got severe pain in my head from inhaling too much of steam.

It was a big mist-ache

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👤︎ u/x_amxxn_x
📅︎ Mar 11
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What do you call clearing out your Steam backlog while in quarantine?

A full plaguethrough

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/d3athandr3birth
📅︎ Mar 13
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Microwaving a TV dinner without opening the package to allow steam to escape is the best way to cook it!

It will be bursting with flavor!

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 24
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That fellow in that steam rocket ship…

He is the flattest Earther

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👤︎ u/Irv-Elephant
📅︎ Feb 24
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I tried catching steam once

But I mist.

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👤︎ u/UnicornJizm
📅︎ Oct 01 2019
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I saw some kids dressed "steam punk" today.

In their defense, it is the healthiest way to serve punk.

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👤︎ u/FaceInTheCloudz
📅︎ Nov 23 2019
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A friend got banned from the Steam subreddit a while ago

It really hurt his self-r/steam

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📅︎ Apr 25 2019
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Out of the blue, I decided to take my wife to a commercial establishment offering health and beauty treatment through such means as steam baths, exercise equipment, and massage

You could say the decision was pretty spa-radic

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👤︎ u/Avasnay
📅︎ Apr 12 2019
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I recently got ran over by a steam roller

people said i should be offended but i was flattered

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📅︎ Feb 28 2019
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"Steam Punk"
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👤︎ u/TheLe99
📅︎ Aug 17 2018
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Why wouldn’t the steam engine run?

It was having selfish steam issues.

👍︎ 43
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👤︎ u/mommarun
📅︎ Mar 27 2018
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Did you hear about the pirate dating simulator that was released on Steam?

It's rated ARRRRR!

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/Clbull
📅︎ Dec 28 2017
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At first he thought it was steam, but it was really just...

a mist understanding.

👍︎ 33
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👤︎ u/thedarkparadox
📅︎ Oct 29 2016
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This steam-powered cyborg keeps bragging about how advanced he is.

I think he's just full of hot air.

👍︎ 33
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👤︎ u/KyleMistry
📅︎ Jun 17 2013
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The Steam Support team should probably call itself the "Steam S. team"

Assuming they exist, anyway. Otherwise* I'm not sure they're taking full advantage of their job.

*well maybe even so

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👤︎ u/thiagovscoelho
📅︎ Feb 08 2015
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Why didn't Steam fix the problems sooner on Christmas?

They were too busy rolling in cache.

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📅︎ Dec 30 2015
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I have decided that I am going to invent a steam-powered cell phone.

That way, when someone asks me to send a picture, I can tell them that I can't because I have low selfie steam.

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👤︎ u/elebrin
📅︎ Oct 12 2015
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My little brother just wants a bunch of steam gift cards for Christmas

Dad - "I have plenty of steam son, I can get you that for free."

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/magik_man_
📅︎ Nov 15 2016
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Steam's servers are down.

Their employees union went on CounterStrike.

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📅︎ Nov 23 2016
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When I was younger I collected model trains, including steam engines like the 2-8-6 and the 4-6-2...

..but I never could find the 4-0-4.

👍︎ 14
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👤︎ u/Echopse
📅︎ Nov 18 2015
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My girlfriend just dadjoked me on the Steam summer sale...

Me: Oh wow, Amnesia: The Dark Descent is on sale. 80% off bringing it down to $4. Do I really want to buy what's known as one of the scariest games?

Girlfriend: No, I definitely think you should forget about it.

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👤︎ u/kelminak
📅︎ Jun 21 2014
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Told my dad how Steam Controller works better with Windows than Mac.

> Well of course it does. You can see through windows.

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📅︎ Jan 03 2016
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Friend: Huh, I didn't know Hogs of War came to steam

Me: Sounds boaring.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Coffeechipmunk
📅︎ Jul 28 2015
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I was helping my dad purchase and install some Steam games...

Me: All right, you're done! Click the "Finish" button.
Dad: I'm not Finnish. I'm American.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/Zanis15
📅︎ Dec 22 2014
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I just dadjoked a friend of mine on Steam, I'll make a great dad someday
👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Oct 22 2013
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