I went for an interview. They said, “Can you perform under pressure?”
I said “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody”
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are locked in battle, and Vader says to Luke, "I know what you're getting for Christmas." Luke says, "No, that's impossible, how could that be?" Vader leans in closer, their lightsabers crackling under the pressure, and he replies...
I hate peer pressure
Unless my friends like it, then I guess it's cool
Landed a good I think while pressure washing today.
Me: Well son the driveway was long over due for a cleaning.
My son: oh yeah? Was it?
Me: I think evidence is pretty concrete!
He gave me the eye roll and head back, a win in my book.
It might crack under pressure.
What do you get when you mix alcohol with pressure in a small space?
I tried to trademark an unit for pressure...
But the patent office wouldn’t have a bar of it
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
What do you call the pressure Microsoft is under to compete with iPad?
Job Interview : "How do you perform under pressure"
I usually have my band with me
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure?
No, but I can give Bohemian Rhapsody a go.
I never wanted to go to the docks, but after my friends pestered me for an hour I finally gave into pier pressure
Interviewer: Can you perform under pressure
Me: I don’t know about that but I can take a stab at Bohemian Rhapsody
Where should you go for a drink when you feel under pressure?
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center... The interviewer asked me if I can work well under pressure
Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
You wanna know my opinion on negative pressure?
When someone is depressed, apply pressure to some part of their body. They'll no longer be de-pressed.
My doctor just diagnosed me with very low blood pressure.
He prescribed two IKEA self assembly wardrobes.
I had a job interview recently and They asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said that I don't know that one, but I could take a shot at Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do competitive origami artists fold under pressure?
The Pressure of Hurricane Michael at its peak was 1004MB.
Why didn't we just zip it in a folder to make it smaller?
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
I walked into my proctologist's office to find him holding a pressure washer.
I told him "today you've made a powerful enema."
I don't like to wear my seatbelt in the car but after a lot of pressure from my family...
My doctor says I have acute high blood pressure
I’m just glad it’s not ugly
Last night I was finishing up pressure washing my driveway and one neighbor dad drove by and said “lookin’ good, great practice for when you do mine this weekend”, and then turned to his wife in the passenger seat laughing hysterically as she looked at him with a blank stare.
I've always been able to tell how much pressure is in a tire just by looking at it.
I guess that makes me psichic.
I'm under alot of pressure at work. Just trying to gauge water do next. Luckily there's plenty more jobs in the pipeline... i.reddituploads.com/c9b53…
I would tell a joke about barometric pressure
But I don't know weather or not that would be a good idea
Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
The wife said one of the tires on her car needed more pressure
so I told it if I don't seen any improvement in it's sales number this quarter, its fired.
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I can try Bohemian Rhapsody
My interviewer asked if I could preform under pressure.
I said no, but I can do a good Bohemian Rhapsody
At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said "I don't know that one but I can have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody."
My doctor just diagnosed me with extremely low blood pressure.
His prescription for me is to assemble two IKEA wardrobes.
At a job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
I said I could, but I'd be more comfortable playing Bohemian Rhapsody.