He was really pushing his luck
But it still remains stationery.
Or you could say the peter parker, spied a man.
I think she’s just looking for a reaction.
Those were Goodyears
My first official dad joke.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!
Now he can wake up and jump straight into his drawers!
The young guy says, “That’s okay. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a bit anxious.”
The old guy says, “Well maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"
The young guy says, “She is 28 years-old, tall, with brown hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs and she’s wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn't matter, let’s look for yours.”
My butt hurt so bad afterwards I couldn’t sit down.
That's a bit of a sweeping statement.
Nurse: Sir, I think you are on the wrong end.
I thought “Hey, a third wheel!”
I want change!
they've got me working 24/7.
"HEY YOU!! Stop pushing that kid around!!"
Dads looks at me and says, "look son, she is pushing last years fun"
My father in law is a vegetarian. Apparently at one point he was at the grocery store and a lady there was giving out samples of meatballs or something.
Woman: Would you like a sample?
Father in law: No thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
Woman (not giving up): It's low sodium!
Father in law: Well, I'm still a vegetarian, and I would have to put salt on it.
