Dick move
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onlyformemes123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 167
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.

If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/akodo1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all

I was like 0MG

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oakvard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.

I told him he was in deNile.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/javerthugo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland

but its a big plus.

πŸ‘︎ 179
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mathisfakenews
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you win if you don't move a single muscle all week?

A trophy!!!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshually
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....

It goes without saying...

πŸ‘︎ 667
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Which lawn decorations move around from yard to yard?

Gnomads.

(I'm not a dad but I came up with this one last year and have been dying to share it.)

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadLuck627
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do actors move around film sets?

On a segue.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueVogueDino
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.

I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Which country did Usain Bolt move to after his retirement?

Iran.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?

A cab

(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassBoostedFlute
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a pig's karate moves?

Pork chops. (Credit to my baby sister who just told me this.)

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShielFoxFTW
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Once, I agreed to help Death move his couch to his new place.

After we got there, I realized I forgot those things you’re supposed to sit on. There were reaper cushions.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghostwriter623
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a donkey that refuses to move?

Bad ass.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConstableBrew
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I need to move out of my parent's house

Their wifi password is " our40yrsoldbaby", i mean come on I'm 45.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.

He said, β€œI don’t like your latitude.”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Betcha $5 I can move that bottle with my mind...

"No way, dad!"

knocks bottle over with hands My mind controls my hands. Now where's my $5?!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
What computer code will give you the moves of a politician?

The Al Gore rhythm

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You would think that a Snail without a shell would move that bit faster ?

But it's actually more sluggish.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Pack and move
πŸ‘︎ 385
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildNazis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I got a fake passport to move to Sydney

I call it my Australias

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmanz21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why can't pencils and erasers move?

Because they're stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I move America last month and I'm still try to learning English

Teacher : Juan, create a sentence using the word "harmony"

Me: i tell my girlfriend that my money is harmony. We share everything together.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Due to the state of the pandemic I decided to move to my house boat for a while

I'm boating absentee

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sycliantableigit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be

Samoans

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a calm person who moves around a lot?

A no-mad

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RD1K
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Being a wheelchair user must be wheelie hard to move on especially when someone walks out on you
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imperfectshane
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.

Dad: The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.

The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.

The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/facts_my_guyy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
As much as you might move around an envelope

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_sewer_rat_0900
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My church can move faster than light

It has no mass

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_a_homan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when you move a rabbit from one spot to another?

A hare transplant.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the Eskimos’ signature wrestling move?

The Arctic Choke

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babyhamstah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the best tool to make a car move?

A screw driver

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
This is such a rookie move
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I started my new job at the local hospital helping to move patients around the hospital

It’s not much, but it’s a rewarding job

πŸ‘︎ 85
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RavenxMiyagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The plan to move the pallets went off without a hitch. v.redd.it/br7lyin1qy531
πŸ‘︎ 489
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inDgenious
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.

Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.

πŸ‘︎ 550
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.

Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.

πŸ‘︎ 95
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report

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