Laying on the grass...”two tired”...to move
People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves
I tell them it’s stationary
Finland is offering foreign tech workers the chance to relocate to the Nordic country for 90 days to see if they want to make the move permanent.
If they don't, after the 90 days they will finnish being Finnish
What do you call the 2nd richest man, when he moves to Mexico?
The flag is not the only reason to move to Switzerland
Today morning when I stood on the weighing scale it didn't move at all
My friend said that its impossible for a river to move through the desert.
I told him he was in deNile.
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
Upon seeing a gorgeous girl at the party, I knew I had to meet her. So I approached and told her about a special-purpose ship designed to move and navigate through frozen waters, and provide safe waterways for other boats and ships.
I've used it before and it works. It's the perfect icebreaker.
I told my dad that I was planning to move to the Arctic circle for a few months.
He said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
What computer code will give you the moves of a politician?
Due to the state of the pandemic I decided to move to my house boat for a while
If you move to a Polynesian country and wonder if the natives will accept you, just know there will be
Mom moves expensive cuts of beef into the top shelf.
Dad: The steaks have never been higher.
Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.
The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.
The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
What is the best tool to make a car move?
What do you call the Eskimos’ signature wrestling move?
I started my new job at the local hospital helping to move patients around the hospital
It’s not much, but it’s a rewarding job
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
"Ho, ho, ho," the jolly bastard mused, unaware I'd been slinking in the shadows for days, ready to unleash my revenge. I'd memorized his patterns, followed his every move, and had set the perfect trap. Down the chimney, ensnared by my noose, and left hanging above the fireplace; I got what I wanted.
Why did the twins move back in together?
They wanted to go back to being womb-mates
Man, wait till you hear what my finishing move was at the Battleship competition!
Why did the Egyptians stay in Egypt instead of move somewhere greener
If Pete Buttigieg wins the election, he'll be the first person to move from the judicial branch to the executive.
"Move t'ward the rudder, matey!" The captain yelled.
"Aye aye, cap'n," the first mate said as he gave him astern look.
As I move into the new year, my future only seems fuzzy...
I guess I just need a better resolution
Why did the mother cat move her kittens?
She didn’t want to litter.
Why can't many people move to the metric system?
They are suffering from the agony of de feet.
Why couldn't the bike move?
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve particles that move faster than light."
A tachyon walks into a bar.
What's the one move in swordplay every instagramer knows?
Why are the clocks which move in reverse not fans of smart clocks??
Because they are anti clock 'wise'
To which state did my ex-wife move after the divorce?
I don't know.
But if I see her, Alaska!
If the air moves fast, is it the windy 500?
I told my mom that I’m planning to move to the Arctic circle for the next few months.
She said, “I don’t like your latitude.”
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Why did the turtle retire and move to the south pole?
He couldn't handle any more hare-racing adventures
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
