you know what drives old people up the wall?

stair lifts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emily-Savage
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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What kind of car does a Jedi drive.....

A Toy-Yoda!

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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Letting it rip on the drives
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RogueDisciple
πŸ“…︎ May 09
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What kind of dinosaur drives a car?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lipisko
πŸ“…︎ May 15
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*while my dad and I drive past a cemetery*

Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"

Me: "Oh, why?"

Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yupitsnoone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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Whit kind of car does Bilbo Baggins drive?

A Fordor.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boodahbellie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
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What kind of cars do ghosts drive?

Boo-gattis.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devonlam21
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.

Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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What car does Jango Fett drive?

The Man"DeLorean".

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shidosu
πŸ“…︎ May 08
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What type of car does Vlad Dracula drive?

A Chevy Impaler.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ezra611
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
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My mates got cross with me for going on and on about how fun it is to drive stick. They suggested changing the subject.

I told them that I would shift as best I could...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djar399
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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As I drive, I often see signs that say: "Falling Rocks"

Yeah, that's a LIE. Sometimes I even have a hard time getting up afterwards.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
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What does Keith Urban drive when he can’t find his car?

Suburban

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sf340flier
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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Why did the fish drive to the mechanic

They needed a β€œtuna-p”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/7rcross
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
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What kind of car does an egg drive?

A yokeswagen

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nanzort
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
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What car did Jesus drive in the bible?

An Accord,

β€œFor I did not speak of my own Accord.” John 12:49

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XPSU
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02
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Drive safe
πŸ‘︎ 254
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardieface
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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No one drives in the city anymore.

There was too much traffic.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scottstots2687
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07
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My Dad just said this one in the drive-thru not 2 minutes ago

First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')

My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefishwhisperer1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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You know what drives everybody up the wall?

Elevators.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
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What kind of vehicle does a wiener dog drive?

A Datsun

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shigglezandgitz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Which bones drive other bones to work?

The metacarpools

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
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A magic tractor drives down the road...

and turns into a field.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sherlock7337
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
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What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?

A Lamborghini.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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When I first started learning how to drive, I used to be afraid of speed bumps.

But slowly, I got over it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sodrohu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26
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What kind of car does Jesus drive?

A Christler.

πŸ‘︎ 95
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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Which car does a rich asian drive?

A Rolls Rice!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nerdonatorr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09
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A guy goes for a drive and his car stalls...

...right in front of a house where there’s a huge party going on. He walks in and notices that the party is somewhat divided. There’s a clear distinction between the people waiting for the bathroom and the people queued up for drinks, etc.

Considering the urgency of the bathroom queue, he walks over to the drinks table and asks everyone there if they wouldn’t mind helping him push his car to get it started. They agree but even with the full might of several people, the car doesn’t budge. He thanks them for trying and they all head back inside.

A little while later, the doorbell rings. The man sees the host open the door to the largest pizza guy he’s ever seen. The behemoth is holding 15 pizzas with one hand, a pallet of buffalo wings with the other, with a keg strapped to each shoulder. The man jumps up and asks the pizza guy for his help pushing the car. He agrees and they head to the street.

With barely one touch of a pinky on one hand, the car lurches forward and starts right up. The man drives off, waving behind him and yelling a quick, β€œThank you.”

As he catches sight of the party fading into the distance, he says to himself...

β€œThank goodness for the delivery because that punch line sure is weak.”

πŸ‘︎ 990
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πŸ‘€︎ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What kind of car does Obi Wan Kenobi drive?

A ToYoda

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhsorrybro
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
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I just saw Jesus & a couple of His disciples drive past me in a new car

Looks like it was a Christler

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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What do a broken hard drive and a baby have in common?

They can't read

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
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Hey! Did you see that snail-shaped car with the letter S painted on it drive by?

Just look at that escargo.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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What kind of car does the moon drive?

An Eclipse.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaykDoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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My son learned how to drive at 13

I think he's really going places

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NardDog1977
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
How do you drive a baby buggy?

How do you drive a baby buggy?
You tickle it's feet! :D

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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I'm not saying the disc drive on the PS5 is good..

But it's a real game changer.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13
🚨︎ report
What happens when you drive a Subaru in reverse?

Ur a bus.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/themeatspin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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My Honda Civic was banned from the drive-in movies

They say it contains a huge spoiler.

I made that up on the spot and told it to my kid. He told me it's not funny and it's a horrible joke. 😟

πŸ‘︎ 290
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XIIXOO
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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My co-workers and I would suffer from wrist pain when we would drive through a mountain on our way to work together

We were diagnosed with carpool tunnel syndrome

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
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You could say their drive is going swimmingly
πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realityiscanceled
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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What type of car do cats like to drive?

A Catillac.

Yep, pretty ridiculous. πŸ˜„

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
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Today I will be talking about the Makita 18V Cordless 1/2-Inch Hammer Drive

You know the drill

πŸ‘︎ 496
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sictirul
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?

A spores car!

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lanifeibor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I told my dad that I always felt a deep sense of foreboding when we drive on the bridge over the canal

He said "That's because the canal IS for boating."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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What kind of car does an egg drive

A yolkswagon..

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stneutron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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What kind of car does a sheep drive? Their SuBAHHru.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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