Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.

Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesn’t come with a driver.

I can’t believe I have nothing to chauffer it.

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FunPeach0
πŸ“…︎ May 14
🚨︎ report
How F1 drivers quit?

ALT+F4

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kov01b0t
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
What’s the favorite band of NASCAR drivers?

One Direction

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kebabsalon
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
Why are ambulance drivers called paramedics?

Because that's what they are, a pair-of-medics.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bagabus
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I really thought becoming an Uber driver would be worthwhile…

But I have nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loadedjackazz
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
A race car driver holds rodent races,

names first rodent Danica RAT-Rick!

Fans say it was a RAT-tastrophe!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ May 07
🚨︎ report
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"

I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"

πŸ‘︎ 489
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WardensLantern
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new trains drivers first run?

It went off without a hitch

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the bat pass his driver's license test?

He needed at least a "C".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frostydog2028
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
Why do ambulance drivers have a passenger

Because they are a pair of medics

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2004mustaaaaa
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.

I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudonympholepsy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
So I'm a truck driver...

Whenever I have to sign for paperwork when picking up a load, occasionally I am asked to sign and date the bills. Whenever I'm asked to sign and date them I say "I can't date these, I'm married!"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Faultiergeist
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?

A Semi-literate

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
What’d that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?

Wear two

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertforApples
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?

He ran out of gas.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23
🚨︎ report
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat

I guess I was the pile driver

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions

I C Y

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bawkalor
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.

Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romeo_rocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Why was the taxi driver fired?

He always goes the extra mile

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Why was Matthew Mcconaughey a failed nascar driver?

Because he’s alright alright alright

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rimmerj13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01
🚨︎ report
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?

Where wolf!?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
🚨︎ report
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?

He was tired of people talking behind his back.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevthesalty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Why was the delivery driver forced to wear glasses?

Because everyone wanted contact-less delivery.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Yoit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.

"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"

He walked home that day.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me

But then I found some concrete evidence

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a stoned lowrider driver?

Highrider

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSpixxyQ
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....

It goes without saying...

πŸ‘︎ 663
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?

He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22
🚨︎ report
Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?

They always make a clean getaway.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/they_be_cray_z
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...

He said the police were expecting a crime wave

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangeJeepWdw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10
🚨︎ report
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?

They need plenty of

KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnnyfender
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?

all his friends told him he was really good at delivery

i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JacksonCM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.

He said to pho-get it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.

Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATX_Stig
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows

...weather permitting

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xSchneebSx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?

ANUBUS

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/obenssonosias
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars...

or they could be charged with a salt.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I find it strange that reckless drivers...

Wreck more.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I've recently become a delivery driver

yes, it has it's UPS and downs, but I still love it

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wallet_Insp3ctor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Dear driver of the car behind me.

Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.

Apparently, it was a pink panzer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wsupton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question β€œHow high are you?”

The drunk driver responds: β€œNo, its β€˜Hi, how are you?’”

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Steph_Curryan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road

It went off without a hitch

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?

Theyre always turning into different people.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stanky3000
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I guess you could say he’s a...... screw driver
πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ketchuponcereal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, β€œwhy is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!

True dad that man!!

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunny_2121
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss said to me, β€œYou’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”

I said, β€œI’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !

Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report

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