Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
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︎ Jan 29 2021
I just spent $300 on a limo and learned it doesnβt come with a driver.
I canβt believe I have nothing to chauffer it.
π︎ 58
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︎ May 14 2021
How F1 drivers quit?
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︎ May 31 2021
Whatβs the favorite band of NASCAR drivers?
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︎ May 18 2021
Why are ambulance drivers called paramedics?
Because that's what they are, a pair-of-medics.
π︎ 48
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︎ May 05 2021
I really thought becoming an Uber driver would be worthwhileβ¦
But I have nothing to chauffeur it.
π︎ 6
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︎ May 28 2021
A race car driver holds rodent races,
names first rodent Danica RAT-Rick!
Fans say it was a RAT-tastrophe!
π︎ 2
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︎ May 07 2021
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
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︎ Mar 06 2021
Did you hear about the new trains drivers first run?
It went off without a hitch
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︎ May 20 2021
Why didn't the bat pass his driver's license test?
He needed at least a "C".
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︎ May 26 2021
Why do ambulance drivers have a passenger
Because they are a pair of medics
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︎ Apr 23 2021
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.
I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.
π︎ 78
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︎ Mar 20 2021
So I'm a truck driver...
Whenever I have to sign for paperwork when picking up a load, occasionally I am asked to sign and date the bills. Whenever I'm asked to sign and date them I say "I can't date these, I'm married!"
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︎ Mar 31 2021
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
π︎ 5
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︎ Apr 05 2021
Whatβd that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
π︎ 97
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︎ Jan 23 2021
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat
I guess I was the pile driver
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 19 2021
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.
Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.
π︎ 53
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Why was Matthew Mcconaughey a failed nascar driver?
Because heβs alright alright alright
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 01 2021
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?
He was tired of people talking behind his back.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Why was the delivery driver forced to wear glasses?
Because everyone wanted contact-less delivery.
π︎ 20
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︎ Feb 04 2021
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 09 2021
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
π︎ 24
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What do you call a stoned lowrider driver?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 08 2021
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
π︎ 663
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?
He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.
π︎ 25
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︎ Jan 22 2021
Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?
They always make a clean getaway.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 06 2021
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
π︎ 28
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
π︎ 230
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︎ Oct 07 2020
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 25 2021
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!
π︎ 120
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 23 2020
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 12 2020
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars...
or they could be charged with a salt.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 26 2020
I find it strange that reckless drivers...
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 10 2020
I've recently become a delivery driver
yes, it has it's UPS and downs, but I still love it
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Dear driver of the car behind me.
Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 26 2020
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 11 2020
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question βHow high are you?β
The drunk driver responds: βNo, its βHi, how are you?ββ
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 06 2020
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?
Theyre always turning into different people.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 14 2020
I guess you could say heβs a...... screw driver
π︎ 81
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︎ Mar 12 2020
Iβm a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....βlooks like you have the best jobβ he says, βwhy is that?β I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 06 2020
My boss said to me, βYouβre the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?β
I said, βIβm not sure; itβs hard to keep track.β
π︎ 14
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︎ Feb 17 2021
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
π︎ 38
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︎ Aug 15 2020
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