why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
I find it strange that reckless drivers...
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
I've recently become a delivery driver
yes, it has it's UPS and downs, but I still love it
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars...
or they could be charged with a salt.
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!
Dear driver of the car behind me.
Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question “How high are you?”
The drunk driver responds: “No, its ‘Hi, how are you?’”
Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?
Theyre always turning into different people.
Why did the chivalrous driver cause a car crash?
He didn't look at the light as it was changing.
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.
Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
So my Uber driver's name is Adill
I really hope his driving doesn't get me into a pickle
Two cab drivers met.
"Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?"
"Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
What does a race car driver say when he has nothing else to say in an argument?
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
I'd be a terrible NASCAR driver
because I'm always right.
I was a driver and a spokesperson for the Wienermobile. They called us hotdoggers
Person: Please tell me you could cook hotdogs in there
Me: Definitely!
But there was no bathroom. You musturd somewhere else.
Credit: u/myloveislikewoah
The driver got pulled over for speeding
I guess he was driving uber fast
I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.
Why are geese the most annoying drivers?
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What do you call a delivery driver who exclusively works with Indian restaurants?
I guess you could say he’s a...... screw driver
Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...
Which celebrity is the worst driver?
Any one of the Car-dashians.
Why did the boy fail his license test even though he took driver's ed?
My sister is a really good defensive driver
Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions
Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been wondering why my food delivery drivers have all been wearing glasses.
I had forgotten that contactless delivery was required.
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck drivers they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...
How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver
But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.
I caught my delivery driver dropping a turd in my yard today.
When asked to leave a review I gave him a number 2
What did Hitler say to driver when invading Poland
What did the metaphysical highway sign say to warn drivers about wintry driving conditions?
What do a cab driver in Boston and a tourist in the capital of Bangladesh have in common?
Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?
Ambulance driver goes to a Bar to drown his sorrows.
Barman says ‘why you crying?’
He says ‘a bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliff’
Barman says ‘so why you crying?’
He says; ‘there was 5 empty seats!’
Our grocery delivery driver told us one of the milk cartons got damaged and leaked into the bag.
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
I once made a website for women drivers...
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
