Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
What’d that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?
He was tired of people talking behind his back.
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
Why was the delivery driver forced to wear glasses?
Because everyone wanted contact-less delivery.
Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?
They always make a clean getaway.
Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?
He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
Dear driver of the car behind me.
Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question “How high are you?”
The drunk driver responds: “No, its ‘Hi, how are you?’”
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
I asked the driver if this ride would take me to 4th Street in St.Louis, Missouri.
Why are geese the most annoying drivers?
I was a driver and a spokesperson for the Wienermobile. They called us hotdoggers
Person: Please tell me you could cook hotdogs in there
Me: Definitely!
But there was no bathroom. You musturd somewhere else.
Credit: u/myloveislikewoah
The driver got pulled over for speeding
I guess he was driving uber fast
Ever since the pandemic started, I’ve been wondering why my food delivery drivers have all been wearing glasses.
I had forgotten that contactless delivery was required.
Since hockey has been canceled, nobody has seen the Zamboni driver
But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.
Which celebrity is the worst driver?
Any one of the Car-dashians.
Why did the boy fail his license test even though he took driver's ed?
Why do Uber drivers skip the gym ?
Because they don't even Lyft
What do a cab driver in Boston and a tourist in the capital of Bangladesh have in common?
Our grocery delivery driver told us one of the milk cartons got damaged and leaked into the bag.
My 15yr old son picked up the first bag, which had a long vegetable sticking out and said "I've found the leek, dad."
Proud dad moment.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?"
I said, "Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!"
Why’d the donkey become a truck driver?
Nobody's heard from the Zamboni drivers since the NHL cancelled their season.
I'm sure they'll resurface at some point.
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says, “Ugh! That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.”
The woman storms off to the rear of the bus and sits down. She turns to the man sitting next to her and says, “The driver just insulted me!” The man says, “You go and give him a telling off. I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Can you name 3 places in Scotland that are also the names of Grand Prix winning racing drivers?
-
(Lewis) Hamilton
-
Stirling (Moss)
-
Ayr Town Centre!!!
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
Why do the subway drivers in a northern Italian city keep quitting?
They find it too hard to work under Brescia
My "friend" pranked me by putting a dead bird on the driver's side seat of my car...
If you were The Weeknd’s driver you could get a lot of *milage* out of the joke, I’m just working for The Weeknd
There's a lot of talk about zamboni driver David Ayres getting a once-in-a-lifetime win, but I don't think we've seen the last of him in the NHL.
/r/hockey/comments/f8c0jh…
My annoying Uber driver dropped me off at the bar.
My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
Since hockey has been cancelled, no one has seen the Zamboni driver...
But I’m sure he’ll resurface eventually.
My boss said to me, “you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"
I said, “I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track.”
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
